Has my daughter gone overboard?

Question

She likes a boy 'Chad' and writes in her diary about him. She left it open before she caught the school bus and I read it. She is good friends with him but I am afraid she might like him more than a friend. What should I do about this situation?

Answer 1

Let it go it's just a little crush. Had you found a condom then maybe there would be something to really worry about....but you didnt. What are you going to do?! You cant shelter her or keep her from liking "chad"...I mean you could try but you'll just drive her to like the boy even more and like you even less as her mother. And besides how do you know that chad even likes your daughter for more than just a friend. Im sure you've had a crush on someone before that never thought of you in the same sence...we all have.

Be cool mom your gonna drive yourself crazy over nothing. Kids change their minds and feelings just about everyday. Tomorrow she may write in her diary about how she hates chad because she saw him talking to another girl.

And stay out that diary!

Answer 2

Why would you be reading her diary? It sounds like you don't trust her. Maybe it's just a crush but you should respect her enough to let her trust you enough to be able to leave her diary at home with you there. I honestly don't think that is right and believe you are the one who has gone overboard. She's a kid and she will have crushes in her lifetime and she will have heart-breaks. YOU are her mother and can't force anything on or away from her because she will only rebel if you do. Just be there for her while she has the crush and do the same when her heart gets broken. But, NEVER READ HER DAIRY AGAIN! If you do and she finds out, you'll loose her trust and won't know anything about what she is doing with her life. She'll close you out and possibly NEVER let you in again

Answer 3

I suppose it depends on how old your daughter is and how good a relationship the 2 of you have. Certainly if she were 12 or 13 y/o you would want her to be engaging in group activities that includes boys and not going on individual dates with boys.

You might ask her in a non threatening way whether there is a boy that she has "special feelings" for and just listen and encourage her to talk more fully about that. Then you could explain how boys and girls of that age are too young to go on individual dates because they have not developed to the point that they are able to handle the intense feelings and urges they can experience.

If your daughter is older, you probably know better than I what is the age appropriate activities she should be doing. I'm sorry that so many people criticized you for reading your daughters diary and said you should let her do whatever she wants. It just goes to show how far out the attitudes of some in our society have gotten.

Imagine someone telling you that you have to earn your daughters trust! It is your daughter's job to earn your trust so that you can feel comfortable in allowing her increased responsibilities and privilages.

Everything that your daughter does, besides go to school, is a privilage that you allow her. All privilages can be taken away if you decide she is not being responsible with them or as a punnishment for not following your rules.

Children (she is a child) have no rights to privacy from their parents who have the job of raising their children to be capable, trust worthy, moral people.

If you can get the idea across to her that you love her and because of that love, need to set appropriate limits with her to protect her and teach her so that she becomes a happy adult and does not ruin her life in her teens.

God bless you and guide you..

Answer 4

Oh mom, too bad you read her diary. You should have just CLOSED it quickly before you gave into the temptation of reading it. Those are HER thoughts, and even though she mistakenly left the diary open (kids are forgetful, you know) that is no excuse for reading it. It doesn't even sound like she wrote anything that serious anyway. Just let it go, and never do that again. (Earn her trust! She will talk to you about stuff if she thinks she can trust you)

Answer 5

First of all, you shouldn't have read her diary even if it was opened. What's wrong with her liking him more then a friend. Girls have crushes and boyfriends so what. Inless this boy is dangerous what's the problem? If your worried about her getting pregnant (you didn't say how old she is) then talk to her about safe sex. You might not want to have that conversation but your going to have to sooner or later. I think your going overboard.

Answer 6

You've gone overboard. Stop reading other people's diaries.
I mean, if anyone, and I mean, ANYONE, read mine, I'd feel like crap.
Don't. Do. That.

Also, she likes a boy. It's normal. I don't see what you find unusual about this situation. What are you going to do, punish her for having feelings? It's not going to go away anytime soon, so deal with it.

Answer 7

Okay, so even if the diary was OPEN there is no reason why you should read it. If I was you I would have left it alone. Let your daughter like a BOY. Leave it alone. I wasn't ALOUD to like boy until I aws 16. Leave it alone. It's terrible. Let her live her life sometimes. If she likes him then good, she isn't going overboard, she's young.

Answer 8

you are her mother and you have the right to look through her things. That way you know if shes having sex or using drugs. Dont tell her you read it! Just ask her one day if she has a bf and go from there. SHe will feel hurt if she knew you read her stuff, Or start up talking about dating and say that she will have rules if she ever starts

Answer 9

nicely it wasn't precisely harsh yet i dont think of its going to artwork very nicely interior the long-term. the justifications she is performing that way is as a results of the fact she desires to finally slot in. You threatning her with the aid of asserting you will take it away will basically make her resent you. Her new apperance and character equals her happiness and he or she would be ready to now think of you're attempting to rob her of it. you will possibly desire to have calmly instructed her that even with the hot look and the hot acceptance she desires to stay modest and humble. Reminding her of how she as quickly as felt won't make her act greater beneficial, it would remind her of how terrible it became and he or she would be ready to basically have a greater suitable urge to be the different of that. on each occasion she acts snobbish or rude capture her on it and tell her how those unfavourable traits definitely make her look unattractive. She's getting previous so which you will now not handle her like a infant and only get rid of her "toys". It wont artwork reason now she would be ready to rebel and additionally you wont like it

Answer 10

First thing is you should never read your daughters diary, that is her own personal thoughts. My mom still to this day when she comes to my house and see's my notebook opened with dear diary written on top will not even glance at it. And about the boy, if you mention it to her unless she previously said something to you about it, she will know you read her diary and that will affect her trust in comming to you about things. Instead let her come to you, it's probably puppy love and in a month she'll be in love with another boy! Good luck but I really do insist you not read your daughters diary.