Here's one......you will win a date with your favorite movie star if you spend the night, ALONE, in ...?

Question

a HAUNTED HOUSE!! Can you write a paragraph or 2 or more about this, that includes these phrases??
1. I am totally calm. I am tota......I AM TOTALLY FREAKED OUT!!
2. Why did I EVER say I would do this?
3. A little fear. A little dread. A little ghost is in my bed!
4. Just where do you think YOU are going?
5. I was too frightened to scream.
6. I'm still waiting for Allen Funt to yell,"Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"

Answer 1

As usual, I acted impulsively and agreed to stay in the Britney Spears House of Publicity Horrors (actually, it was just a triple-wide with dismal lighting), which is known to be haunted by the IQ points and class that she lost while married to K Fed. Of course, I agreed to do it because I would win a date with Johnny Depp, and was assured that I would not have to come in contact with her or her poor hygiene. I initially thought I would do anything for a piece of Depp's action, but soon began wondering, WHY DID I EVER AGREE TO DO THIS??
As I roamed through the house I felt a constant strong breeze blowing, and was concerned because the windows were all closed. I had to do something to calm my nerves, so I said aloud to myself, "I am totally calm. I am tota... I AM TOTALLY FREAKED OUT!" suddenly realizing that the breeze was coming from the vast, empty shell that was once her dignity! BRIT WAS SOMEWHERE IN THE HOUSE WITH ME!! I wanted to hide, but knew that I had a better chance of survival if I just stayed calm and kept my intelligence about me (probably my best defense against anything she was involved with).
I was terrified because I could hear satanic voices everywhere, telling me that Brit's career would soon suck the energy from all Teen Beat subscribers, as well as from the legions of horny old men who subscribe to the unofficial BritNeedsASpanking web site, and would use this energy to try and bring her dead career back to life. Oh, how I wanted to wake from the nightmare! I tried to ignore the shrill voices, hoping that they were just getting their information from a twelve-year-old's blog page, but then I heard Birtney's ghastly voice (although it was hard to hear through her annoying gum-smacking) asking if she could hold my daughter or take her out for a drive. I wanted to cry out, "No! That half-wit of a mother may not come anywhere near my children!" but I found that I was too frightened to scream. It was then that I realized that the house was also haunted by her now-dead common sense. What was I to do? I could only escape the terror of my situation with thoughts of what Johnny Depp would do to my body if properly intoxicated. (Don’t get me wrong, I know that would take a lot of alcohol and even more imagination on his part, but a girl can dream).
Growing tired from my fight against mediocrity (not to mention a foul aroma that reminded me of unbaked bread), I decided to take a nap in a little room in the back of the trailer. As I attempted to rest, I found the pillow and bed to be very uncomfortable; upon investigation I discovered that it was stuffed with her old slogan T-shirts, still bearing pit-stains and the aroma of greasy carnival food. Slogans such as, "I'm with stupid" and, "Will strip for chicken wings," screamed out at me in over-sized fonts and garish colors. I tried to escape the stench of unwashed cotton that enveloped the bed, but was hit from all sides by possessed flying trucker hats that had been used to excess to cover greasy hair and dark roots. Then a little voice began to sing, (off key, I might add), "A little fear. A little dread. A little ghost is in my bed!" My first thought was, "Are you f'ing kidding me? Is that what she really sounds like without computer enhancement?" But then I realized it wasn't Britney herself, it was just the ghost of her career. I was comforted by its lack of sustenance; I had nothing to fear. A few cute songs with a simple beat and school-girl pig tails danced around my head like fluff floating through the air, but it was nothing to be afraid of. It wasn't like it was going to come back to life or anything...
That's when the worst happened. The musical styling’s of Paris Hilton, (her new fiendish friend) began to drown out Brit's classics, creating a whole new horrific career right before my very eyes! Even worse, they weren’t digitally enhanced yet, so once again I had to listen to the real deal! When I tried to get up and run, Britney laughed like and said, "Just where do you YOU are going? I haven't even shown you my home video's with K-Fed, yet." I tried in vain to find sharp objects to stab into my ears, seeking only to kill the pain, but was eventually overcome with a kind of coma that allowed me to go deep into my thoughts, a place foreign to over-indulged banshees like Brit and Paris.
Once morning broke and the spectural torture was put to rest by the sunlight, I came out of my terror-induced coma and tried to make my way out of the house of Whore-ers. The only evidence that remained from the nightmarish experience were the stains of abandoned dignity and hygiene. I was spiritually drained and would forever be scarred by the nightmare I had endured the previous night. As I made my way through that glorified-trailer to my eventual escape, I could only wonder what was in store for us all, the innocent public. Would Brit eventually bond with other over-embellished Hollywood idiots who only found fame through having remarkably bad reputations and images that could only be born in the minds of evil publicity agents and over-controlling, money-hungry fathers (excuse my slip of tongue, I meant 'managers')? Would our media, entertainment, and news continue to be dominated with notorious public figures such as Britney, with status that could only be nurtured by frequent 'accidental' displays of private body parts in front of photographers when over-intoxicated, the occasional run-in with the law while driving backward on the freeway, public slap-fights with Lindsey Lohan, and the greatly-anticipated spot on MTV's The Surreal Life when money gets tight? I was chilled by the thought of such a world, but soon fell into a comfortable state of denial that something so terrifying could ever happen. God willing- if we pray hard enough and have Bono hold a charity concert to further our cause- these over-paid entitied who lack souls will collectively develop a sense of morality, taste, talent, and a hobby that doesn't involve flashing their hoo-hoo's on their way into overrated night clubs. Yes, one could hope.
As for me, I'm still waiting for Allen Funt to yell, "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!" but not until after I get my "date" (read: bootie-call) with Johnny!

Whew! I need to lay off the caffeine. If you read this whole thing, more power to you. If you are a Brit or Paris fan, my apologies if I have insulted you in any way; I realize that taste is subjective. The views and opinions expressed in this story are strictly those of the author, and are most likely not shared by the person who gave such an engaging prompt.

Answer 2

Why did I EVER say I would do this? It's bad enough that I agreed to spend the night in this house, but alone? on Friday the 13th? with a full moon? It's okay. I am totally calm. I am tota... I AM TOTALLY FREAKED OUT!! What the heck was that? Should I look? I knew this bed was not a good idea...the black curtains and skull candle holders should have been enough to scare me away, but no...I really want that date with (insert favorite movie star here). What is that on my foot? A little fear. A little dread. A little ghost is in my bed! Just where do you think YOU are going? Not up there you don't! As I jumped out of bed I was too frightened to scream. I'm still waiting for Allen Funt to yell, "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"

Answer 3

The first answer took mine "The Longest Day" had the best cast ever assembled for a movie and it was excellent. John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, Eddie Albert, Richard Burton, Sean Connery , Red Buttons, Henry Fonda, Jeffery Hunter, Peter Lawford, Roddy McDowell, Edmund O'Brien, George Segal, Rod Steiger, Robert Wagner and that is just the ones I remember. Great Great movie about "D-Day".

Answer 4

Never, did I ever think I would take up such a challenge but the prize, a date with my favourite movie star, was too tempting to miss. It was not a set-up, although there would be cameras present to record the goings on, however, they would not be manned, merely statics in each room. The address of the haunted house had not been disclosed but was guaranteed by the sponsors to be a genuine eerie place.
I had filled in the coupon not really expecting to hear anything further, but the letter telling me that I had in fact won the competition, arrived merely two weeks later. I was having second thoughts to tell the truth but the prize that dangled in front of my eyes was far too tempting to miss.
I had taken the train to the town in Wales from my home in London and was met at the station by one of the sponsoring company's representatives. The mere sight of him gave me the creeps. He looked like something out of Phantom of the Opera.
He gave me details of the house and it's previous occupants. I knew it was genuine, as I had followed the gruesome details through the news the previous year.
'Why on earth did I ever say I would do this?' I said to myself as I stood on the pavement outside the bleak house. 'No' I said to myself 'it's not worth it, I'm off' as I began to walk away. Lurch, as I had decided to call the company rep. actually put his hand on my shoulder and croaked 'Just where do you think you are going'. He produced an official parchment and pointed to the bottom line 'You will be in breach of contract, do you realise it may cost you up to £10,000'. I suddenly remembered that I had in fact sighed four or five different agreements but did not fully read them. 'My good lord' I quickly realised what I had done and I was too frightened even to scream.
Suffice to say, but I entered the house and the door was locked behind me. I didn't even have a key. The lighting was exceptionally dim, and the rare light-bulbs could not have been more than 25 watt.
As I stood rigid in the hallway, afraid to go any further into the house I said aloud 'I am totally calm. I am tota...' before I could finish I heard, and I was positive I had not imagined it, creaking of floorboards on the nearby stairs. Now at this stage I am totally freaked out.
Part of the deal which I now remembered was that I had to sleep in the bed in the first-floor bedroom. I literally ran up the stairs, found the room and jumped fully clothed into bed. I decided that whatever about the television recording, that was where I was going to remain for the entire time in the house. The noises continued for the next half hour and they seemed to be coming from all sides, including from over my head.
I would have swore that I heard voices coming from the wall behind me. It was faint but getting louder as if it was coming closer. I picked up bits of what was being said but it did not make sense. 'A little dear, or was it fear' I asked myself 'Yes, and a little drear. A little ghost is in my bed' and other such nonsense echoed around me.
It dawned on me that of course it was a set up. It would not have made sense for the company to go to such expense if all that happened was me going to bed and sleeping throughout. Of course they would have to have some surprises. Of course.
I immediately got out of bed and confidently walked around the room. No problem - nothing to worry about. I made my way to the kitchen.
I opened the fridge, found some ham and made a sandwich. There was no kettle so I settled for water. The sandwich was quite tasty so I had another. Half way through it, I heard a hell of a commotion at the front door. Lurch and a couple of others with earphones rushed up to me and slapped the sandwich out of my hand. 'What's the problem' I asked thinking that it was all for show. 'You fool' Lurch screamed in that squeeky voice 'the form said that no food allowed and in particular nothing is to be eaten of drank that is found in the house. It's a good job we were watching you on the monitor'. 'Oh, yeah' I said looking about 'I'm still waiting for Allen Funt to yell, 'Smile! You're on Candid Camera'. 'It is not damn funny' Lurch was saying as he telephoned 999 and asked for an ambulance. 'Yes, ambulance? this is an emergency' he said to the operator 'I have a possible poisoning at' and he gave the address 'as quickly as possible please'. 'Cobblers' I said 'nice one Lurch' but suddenly noticed the sheer panic in his face. 'Didn't you know you fool' he shouted 'that six people were poisoned with ham in this house last year'.
I merely fainted and awoke in the local Emergency Ward having had my stomach pumped. I was kept in for observation.

Incidentally, I never did manage to see my movie star date as the company claimed, rightly so, I might add, that I had only stayed in the haunted house for just over two hours................... and that was two hours too many..............