okay..i have a question..a very LONG question?

Question

so..say that there is this woman who competely gave up everything in her life to get high on meth..and before she did meth, she molested her baby daughter..(she is screwed up in many ways)..so... say her husband divirced her and got with me..now she is in jail for robbing people at gun point and will be there for many years. Might I also say that during her 10 year marriage with her ex-husband...(my husband now) she cheated on him on and off the whole time. Well it has been 2 years now that she has been in jail and we have married..we have a 7 month old baby and a 6 year old that came from him and her. Now tell me..if you were in our shoes, and she was trying to keep in touch with her 6 yearl old by letters, ...and furthere more..my mother in law, (his mother) is still in contact with her and giving her information on her daughter and sending her pictures what would you do? Wouldn't you be mad that she is still in contact with her after all the horrible things she did to her family

Answer 1

first off... if i were u , i wud b terribly mad at ur mother-in-law because shes a terrible person for helping her keep in contact with her daughter. she literally ruined her own daughter's life not to mention she molested her now 6 year old daughter and now she wants to ruin her daughter's life even more by keeping in contact with her?

secondly she should feel ashamed for doing all those terrible things in the first place n also making her own daughter feel ashamed to have such a mother. a mother should protect her daughter and love her....not molest her, abuse her and make her feel ashamed that she has a mother that is in jail.

does ur mother-in-law know anout the child's birth mother's past?
if she does and stil help the mother...she must b nuts! tell her to wake up and smell the roses...cuz it's juz gna ruin the kid's life when she knows that her mother is a jail bait n a molester. lemmie know what happens after cuz i am interested to know what happens. my email is joeche2 at hotmale.com

-joy

Answer 2

WOW. that's really tough, with no right or wrong answers. My first thought was WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE. So many ways to look at this. How as this all effected her child? Does she have an interest in her Mom? Does she remember? All your questions should be about that little girl. Remember, Mom was a good person, before drugs.Personally, I feel that her mom is her mom.cant change that I hope you told her the truth as to where mom is, not the ugly details of why.. I would go to see the mom(you) not husband and talk.,feel each others pain. Ask mom to keep letters simple, keep them about the child accompaniments and encouragements of those.Help the child wife.pick out pictures. Children grow up and see the whole truth, she will see you has her hero for many reasons.Answer her questions honestly,leaving out the ugly.Don't paint the picture for her. She will paint her own picture. If you make this a big deal,fighting with each other or telling her all the ugly details, The child will fight the truth and blame you for everything. Remember THAT IS HER MOM. that's all she knows,
your mother in law, who cares!give little energy on her, If there are things you feel she shouldn't share with the mom, Have your husband deal with it. You cant control her,

Answer 3

I would be very upset. The mother in law sounds like a complete nut. Frankly I would have to wonder about the guy I was married to and what made him choose such a freak for a wife and what kind of damage was done to him being the son of a mother that is acting that way. Is the 6 year old in counselling? Does your husband care about the effects on the child? Better watch out about leaving the child with the mother in law. Who the hell knows what she will do....like take the kid to prison etc.

Answer 4

I understand how you feel but the she is the girls mom. Maybe the mother in law feels bad for her. You should consult an attorney about what the legal rights are for you and your family. Does this little girl remember what he mom did to her? Does she want to have contact with her mom? you may want to put the girl in some type or therapy or support group b/c of what she went through. It's a tough call but the mom still has rights if she hasn't given them up legally. The best you can do is to protect both kids from seeing this woman but I don't think that you can prevent the letters and calls if the little girl wants to talk to her. If she doesn't then you can definitely make a case for her staying away b/c it's detrimental to the little girl.

Answer 5

people change, especially in prison (that's supposed to be what it's for--rehabilitation).

A mother is a mother is a mother, no matter how screwed up she may have been, do you concede that maybe, just maybe, she recognizes the awful things she has done....the past is past, but maybe she wants to make a better future? You don't say anything about how she is doing in prison, but obviously she doesn't want to sever ties with her daughter--I would say she would be a much worse mother if she just abandoned and ignored her kid. I bet her daughter remembers her and misses her birth mommy, as much as you may do your best to take her place.

I think you would be a bigger and better person if you did what you could to try to keep your stepdaughter in contact with her mom and grandma. If you block contact, that child is going to resent you when she grows up (or before).

Bite the bullet and give the benefit of the doubt, for your stepdaughter's sake.

Answer 6

I've been pretty close to in your shoes. Deep down inside your six year old wants to know her mother. I'm sure she misses her very much cuz that's her mom. Even though she doesn't deserve to be. The girl I raised for 4 years while her mom ran around drugging it up and having babies was abused in many different ways too. If you cut off all contact you're daughter might develop a detachment disorder because she thinks her mom don't love her. Make contact very monitored while keeping it at a minimum. Just don't cut it off completely. I know it sucks.

Answer 7

I understand what you are saying but I believe that you have to let her have information about her daughter. I am not totally sure why I feel this way but it just seems like the right thing to do. It should be the daughter's decision when she gets older but until then it is the mother's decision. No matter how horrible a mother or father can be, there child will still love them and need to resolve their issues themselves.

Answer 8

unless the court has said she cant contact her daughter the nit really doesnt matter how you feel about it. this is still her child and no matter what happened, it always will be. imagine being in her shoes and this is your child that you are being told you shouldnt contact. im not saying what she did was right by any means, but she was screwed up and its not like she is actually being premitted to see and be left alone with the child. when her daughter is old enough, she can make the decision to have mom part of her life. please dont be the wicked step-mom who keeps her real mother out of her life...she may resent you for it someday.

Answer 9

yes i would be just as angry as you are about this. hope you get to a lawyer and get this taken care of. i don't even know that i would give the letters to the child or not. maybe save them until she heals some more on that molesting. but honestly...meth don't make you loose touch with reality so much like to go an molest your own or anyones child. it had to always be in her from way back when.

Answer 10

Yes I can see that it would make you mad. But, she may be learning lessons the hard way. And forgiveness on all sides, works better for the daughter. If she can feel that her mother is changing that would be so great. You don't have any thing to loose.