he wanted to commit suicide. It was an ongoing issue so I recommended he talk to a professional but he wanted to talk to only me. I tried my hardest to help him.Come to find out he kept a secret that he had a child he never met w/a one night stand(trash) before we met.I helped him come to terms with it & when he finally met the child he ended our relationship to pursue one with the mother of his child. I found all this out when I was in the hospital this past summer.I was pretty ill & the response I got was never to call him again.There after he manipulated me into thinking I aided him into going back to the mother because I told him he should be a part of his child's life. They r not together anymore.This guy told professed is love for me and even talked marriage, I met his family. So, I'm having an awful time dealing w/ how he treated me after I helped him with his serious threats of suicide, he doesn't even show regret for what he has done to me. Ironically, i'm seeking prof.help
2007-01-05 16:32:16 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I understand what you are saying and a relationship such as this deserves professional help. However, never blame your words for what happened. That isn't right.
Sometimes people like him become severly depressed and overcome by nothing more than a guilt complex, which he obviously had. He found a friend...you. Yes, it is true he abused the relationship, but look at it this way because this is very important to your stability. What you did do was magical and wonderful. You saved a life...even though the going is rough, it was YOU who prevented suicide and no one else. You put him where his responsibility was supposed to be; with his child.
Don't beat yourself up because you've lost him as a boyfriend. You've gained something very important and that is knowledge and wisdom...a very important and valuable asset. There are other men to meet who will appreciate the type of person that you are. Never underestimate your charm and your sincere heart...and never belittle yourself for being on the losing end of the deal or getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop. He did give you something in return for the hurt he caused you, but what you have now is more valuable than anything...your freedom to go on. Does this make sense sweets?
Hurt like this takes a lot of time to heal, but saving lives of people who are depressed and disturbed is a gift. Why not take some psychology courses and major in it. You'd be great.
2007-01-05 16:46:57 · answer #1 · answered by chole_24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish there were some magic words I could say so you would know that based on what you told us, you are a good person and you did what you believed to be a good and decent thing and try to take comfort in the knowledge that you probably saved this persons life. Although we cannot be responsible for what someone else does to us, we have to look in the mirror and decide each and every day if we did the best we could in any situation. I hope the pain you feel dulls soon and you can find an honest decent person to make the rest of your pain go away. Good Job, and Good Luck>
2007-01-06 00:47:01 · answer #2 · answered by tpbthigb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This happens often. One helps someone, and then you get kicked in the butt.
You know you have done something good and you can be proud of yourself. The child has a father, he/she will be grateful to you for the rest of his/her life. That is nice to know isn't it? Also, you deterred your friend from committing suicide!
My advice, is just try to get on with your life. One day, when he realizes what you have done he will contact you I am sure! He obviously has some kind of psychological problems, due to the fact that he found out he had a child, he had never met...and this has been playing on his mind since then! This will most probably take quite a while until he finds his mental balance again!
Give him and yourself time. If it is meant to be it is meant to be, but nothing would be for him if it was not for you!
Good on you and good luck!
2007-01-06 01:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by Gary H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the guy just used you. Do you really know why that relationship with the mother of his child ended? He seems like the guy that runs from his problems. Suicide? Ex? He left you? Not that you are a problem. If you get married, when there are problems , he might leave you again. You seem like a good person. You deserve more. Your instincts tell you, so leave him, now..
2007-01-06 00:44:44 · answer #4 · answered by beautifulinsideandoutinjc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my advice is to hook up with me we are in similar boats hit me up on yahoo messenger kenallen75
2007-01-06 00:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by kenallen75 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋