ssshhh
My husband has turned so insensitive...what can i do to stop hurting myself?
we have been married since 2 yrs...we fell in love anf married with lots of hardship...now i wonder attimes why did we marry....we constantly keep fighting and he has been very insenstive lately....
i recently have had real bad health...i am on many medications and i have been having all the sideeffects from all the meds...i have been really upset and all i needed was his complete support....back in those days he used to be there atleast assuring me that its going to be ok...but now he just looks away even i am suffering...and when i ask abt this,,,he says why r u sticking to me if it bothers u....today we had a big fight...he didn't want to talk abt it but i was going on asking him and what changed....he said its me who constantly nag him and thats what changed...
well...i really am hurt...u know it has been so hard for me this time of my life to accept all the medical problems,i am awayy from all my family and friends,and i am going through rough time with career and all i needed was
Additional Details
6 minutes ago
his love and care and be a listener for my comlains asit has been hard...
b4 he used to help me and be with me for most of it..he has never ever shown me any extra ordinary care but i don't expect much other than few soothing words....
now if he helps around also he just have to mention that not any one helps arund and stuff...well he has been my supporter financially for my medcns and few of my exams but he has always pointed out to me...
i don't think i can ever trust him again with anything again...he has hurt me when the time is so wrong ...all i needed was love and support and he made me feel i am a nag..and being a doctor he just doesn't even care abt my medical condition..i have hypothyroidsm ,insulin resistance and poly cystic ovaries and i am on many harmonal pills which make me feel so crazy...i feel so bad,,,i feel i should just stop expecting anything anymore...i am so hurt and i feel there is no love anymore..
i don't want to lead a life like this...
any advices please..
4 minutes ago
i don't want to be married to him if this is what my life is going to be...i really don't wnt this life....i would rather be divorced than being with him...
how am i supposed to be in controll...i feel i am being so stupid by asking him all the qs..all he did was turn aside and sing some song...i have never been treated like this way at all ever....
i miss my family...i feel bad to call and tell them all thse...my dad has heart condn and i don't want to worry him by talking all these,...help me please...we stay ina differnt country,,,
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2007-01-05 16:31:54 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I may not be there to witness what really transpired between you and your husband but from where I'm right now, I can feel that you're steaming really with hurt feelings...and possible because the meds are also working to aggravate your emotions. What I could possibly say at this point in time are:
1. RELAX so you can COOL DOWN. You'll not be able to think what's right for you if you're steaming.
2. TRY TO BE OBJECTIVE (if possible). Maybe it would help if his words the 'u nag', his not 'looking' when he talks or his 'singing a song' really define the word insensitive. I think they are not exactly. I see them as avoidance.
3. ACTUALIZE. Meaning stop looking from your point of view. Try looking at the situation from the point of view of your husband. Maybe you could discover that there's something that can be 'fixed' for the better.
4. TAKE A BREATHER. You see a change of environment, even for a while, provides some sort of relief. I believe this myself... that negative energies need to parried away from you so that the positive energies can come in. Get to a not-so-far away place which you feel positive.
5. COME BACK NEW. When you return, make sure it's a different time, different mood, different you so that when your husband sees you, he'll say somehting good that could open up a conversation.
My aim is for you to communicate at the same level - ADULT to ADULT without him feeling being nagged and you feeling being not seriously taken.
2007-01-05 17:44:08 · answer #1 · answered by Willie Boy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, slow down. I don't know about the nagging. but, you have only spoken about your needs, your wants and your expectations. I realize you are ill. He doesn't have the power to fix that. You are wanting him to fix it, make it go away. HE CANT.
You need to look at yourself, hard !! really look.
What are you doing to help you. That's where you need to start. next, What are you doing as a Wife? Do something for him.
Try not to take this the wrong way. It doesn't matter how little you can do or how much. Its the fact That you are Doing IT. don't make a big deal out, Just keeping doing it.
Educate yourself on your condition your medications , find support groups , DO SOMETHING. ITS MIND over MATTER!!!
AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF.
Fight for your life and fight for your marriage, your husband.
2007-01-06 00:59:00 · answer #2 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem very stressed writing this, so start by relaxing a little, and now hear that the exact same happened between myself and my wife, she became insensative and hurtful, I really didn't think she cared about me anymore. The problem wasn't me nor was it her, it was our circumstances, other things in our lives made us take our anger and aggresion out on each other, and there is only so much both parties can take before you become numb to the pain and appear carless.
My wife and I broke you on January 1st we have spent only but a few days apart, today I took her and my children to the park, I felt it important to A, make sure the children spend time with both parents at same time and B, to tell my wife I still love her very much. The moment I told her I saw a tear roll down her cheak and I felt someting I hadn't felt in our relashionship for along time I knew she loved me to. Now I didn't take this any further, but I know that the reaosn it appeard she didn't care wasn't because she didn't love me, it was because we needed time away from each other to remeber the love we had.
You know in your heart if he loves you or not, and you are the only one that can answer that, he can only love you if you feel loved. Maybe you should take some time to visit your family, don't tell them why just enjoy yourself and give things time to settle.
2007-01-06 00:41:13 · answer #3 · answered by trincanniere 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ssshhh, u know sometimes in life there comes a time when u feel bad, left out and ignored. everyone around turns out to be very selfish and rude. and all these may, of course, naturally hamper your judgement. if you get carried out your emotion and sentiment you will never come to anything. and moreover, the disease you have got, you know very well, also affect your thinking, emotion and as a result your mood may fluctuate. the point of my saying all these is that don't lose your confidence.no one can help u unless u help yourself. your husband has not been helpful. that does not mean it is the end of the world. u think about your career. it shows u are capable of taking responsibilities and are matured. so dont waste ur time thinking about ur husband. u know there comes a time when no one willingly wants to help. u have to earn it. and how? u know better. the magic line DONT GIVE UP. and finally you have got the power to take your own decision. all the best
2007-01-06 00:55:45 · answer #4 · answered by Ekjon O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things are as bad as you say Why are you still there!! You should leave Now don't weight.if you don't have any place to go you can find help. Maybe the red cross could help or a woman shelter Maybe you have a sister or a brother who might be of some help! If he is a doctor he should know what you are going throw! You would think he would wont to help his wife in her time need.
2007-01-06 01:25:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tried to end my life at the age of 7 and i have done the 2nd time at 15. After the 2nd time, I realied how beautiful life is. There are more thing more important to do than staying with problems/misery.
Find friends/ lets be friends. Try yoga, it helps. Pray.
2007-01-06 00:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by running_architect24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just wrote a novel about how much you do not want to be married to this man. Either try counselling or leave. What can you possibly expect anyone on here to do for you? Leave him and return to your family and have a good life.
2007-01-06 00:40:25 · answer #7 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get out what are you wating for are you a masoquist stop winning and get out
2007-01-06 00:36:34 · answer #8 · answered by irene k 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋