My husband hit me this afternoon. He says he will never do it agin. Should I believe him or just stick around to see if his promise is true? My Lips looks like a raw piece of meat!
We Have No childern yet an I could go live with my parents again , until I got on my feet.
But he did promise Not to ever touch me again like that. Do I believe him or sneak out tonight when he falls asleep? I am so hurt an don't know what to do.
2007-01-05 16:04:54 · 23 answers · asked by cricket 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
girl you need to get out of there tonight! do not buy his bullsh*it!
leave an go back to your mama...no man should ever lay his hand on you. and you don't dare buy his lies...or promise of never hitting you again. leave!
2007-01-05 16:08:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
What made your husband hit you is what some people would ask. If he already laid a hand on you, why didn't you call the police for assault and batter? What ever the case may be, he shouldn't have hit you. Something must have provoked him to hit you like that. (it does take two to tangle)
I would ask if you have noticed any violent behavior before getting married, like when you were dating? Because if you knew that he had a violent temper, why did you marry him?
My point is, if you knew you were in danger, you should have called 911 and gotten out of the situation rather than stick around. He is an abusive man and needs counseling for his behavior. Do not believe what he says that he will not do it again, usually when a violent man says such a thing, it means he will and won't stop until he, himself wants to change and get help.
So what you should do, call 911. So they can make an assault and batter report...they will want to know the whole story first, or your side that is. Hopefully they will try and help him get some help after spending time in jail.
Hope this helps.
2007-01-06 00:23:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Girl you need to leave him....it's kinda like once a cheater always a cheater...well same goes for this, I know been there done all that! Once a man hits a women and gets away with it he'll do it AGAIN! What you could do is leave and tell him you're doing so so it will scare the **** out of him, then if he show's you the real him and begs to have you back in his life, give him that one chance and that ONE chance ONLY!!!!! So if he were to do it again, for one he didnt learn the first time and two, you gave him that chance and you wont feel guitly, and three you can leave him and learn for your next relationship....
Good Luck and Hope this has helped someway!
2007-01-06 00:13:46 · answer #3 · answered by So you think you know me!? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave now while you can. If you don't the mental abuse which will certainly follow, will cause you to loose your self-esteem and keep you in his control.
I was in an abusive marriage for over 10 years. He never hit me until after we were married. He only hit me with his fist a few times mostly because I cooperated with him before it got to that because I was afraid of the physical pain. He ALWAYS said he wouldn't do it again. The emotional/mental abusive was even worse. When you have children, the custody battle will be a nightmare because batters have to be in control of everything. A good book to read "It's My Life Now".
Any male that hits a woman is a loser!
2007-01-06 01:10:11 · answer #4 · answered by MW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now, while you still can!!!! Dont know how long you've been married, but luckily you have no children with this man yet. If he is really sincere about not doing it again then he (or maybe both of you) need to get help, counseling, etc.
I would go back to my parents now to be safe, and then you can see if this is something that can be worked out. But you definately need to remove yourself from the situation asap. As long as you stay it will continue...tho it may not happen again right away..it will happen. Seperate yourself from this situation so you can get clearer perspective on it. No one deserves to be treated like that...you have to have more respect for yourself than that. And even tho you love him...dont believe him when he says he wont do it again....the solution for a problem like this is not as easy as that! Good luck to you, be safe for yourself and the people that love you.
2007-01-06 00:27:24 · answer #5 · answered by giggles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i got hit by my ex the first time he did it he also promised never to do it again and he kept that promise for a while then he started pushing and hair pulling along with the name calling and constantley putting me down i stayed thinking he would change and see that he loved me he changed alright but not the way i was hoping. he got mad cause an old guy friend called me back in 97 it was just to call and talk nothing else and i was pregnant but that didnt stop him he started with his usual pushing and hair pulling then he got this cold dark stare in his eye and threw me down on the floor and he started hitting me and wouldnt stop i was crying and everything then he started hitting me in the stomache yelling something about the kid not being his and i seriously dont know what made him stop i seriously thaught and felt like he was going to kill me and i could barely walk he had hurt me so bad. im not saying your husband would do anything like that but id hate for you to chance it. you need to go look in the mirror and look at your lip and ask your self is he worth this? is he worth looking like this again. if he really loved you no matter what you did or he thaught you did he would of never raised his hand to hurt you. and what ive learned if he was able to do it once he will be able to do it again. but i seriously would think things clearly before you chose 100% to stay. oh and i did lose the baby i didnt put that part in. ok if you had a kid would you ever be able to raise your hand to harm you child? probly seriously no right? and why wouldnt you? because youd love your kid to much to hurt him or her right? then why would it be ok for a man to hurt you? he should of loved you to much to want to hurt you.
2007-01-06 00:20:56 · answer #6 · answered by cute redhead 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ooh i remember those words and i remember the first hit too
and yes he also promised he was making those promisis for 13years and i was spit on beat black eyes busted lip stomped on had kids he contiued... and then i decided to fight back really fight back ........... it got out of control the cops stayed at my house the kids almost got tooken away so guess what i finally decided to leave the only differnce between me and you I had no body in this world but me my mom died my father i never knew and i was 16 he was 27 and I stayed for 13 years ........I was also verbally abused that can be just as badgot away been away for 7 years found a new husband and i never knew life could be so good if you dont want to leave now just talk to a battered abuse counsler. but i would say GET OUT ....... but do it when he is not at home dont sneak out he could wake up i got out when my husband was at work
2007-01-06 00:19:42 · answer #7 · answered by slpry L 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive him in your heart if you want to because he probably has some really deep emotional problems from way back that cause him to be abusive to women ... BUT ... you should definitely leave him ASAP because he WILL do it again ... they always say they won't. Also, you should ask yourself WHY would you even consider letting someone do something like that to you for ANY reason and even think about staying around. What so you think YOU deserve?
2007-01-06 00:54:47 · answer #8 · answered by Princess Fallopia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you have gone through this. I was married once to an abusive man. It doesnt' change. I had two children with him and it took a lot of courage to leave. I did, and I am very happily married for 12 years now to my new husband.
Never, ever settle for anyone that abuses you. You are too good and don't deserve it. Domestic violence is a cycle and it is usually past down from generation to generation. Get out now before your little children will have to witness their daddy beating up their mommy.
Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-06 00:09:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
only you can make the decision, not us. if you want out and believe he will do it again then go. if you trust he didnt mean it then stay and work things out. i say this because most girls on here are so quick to say leave him. I know alot of women who hit their husbands during fights and they still stick around, but as soon as he would hit her, shes out of there becuase he did something wrong. do what you feel you need to do in your best interest.
2007-01-06 01:53:24 · answer #10 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No kids?
Dump him. I mean, you could forgive him, but you will never forget...and neither will he.
The fact that you feel you have to sneak out when he is asleep shows that you greatly fear what he might do if you leave him when he is awake.
When you hit a spouse, you step across a sacred line, in my book. Study after study have shown that spouses that hit once are very likely to do it again.
There are many good men out there. Leave this one, and go find one of them.
2007-01-06 00:55:59 · answer #11 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋