I am seeing a man who has a crazy ex-wife who manipulates him and their children...what do you do?

Question

She works for a law firm and uses that as a means of threatening them. She has told him that she can make my life miserable and cause me to loose my child. She is constantly harassing him and he always seems to do what he is told by her. He thinks she is truly crazy. I think she is a ***** who has used her threats and manipulation for so long that he is really scared of her. He is always asking me what he should do. When I offer any advice or say anything negative, he defends her. She has been emotionally abusive to him for years and has even been physically abusive towards him; with the most recent incedent involving her biting his arm. He is truly a wonderful man and I have strong feelings for him. Do you think he (and she) will ever be able to move on? Do you think that I am being stupid for sticking around?

Answer 1

You should think long and hard about what kind of man he is for allowing her to manipulate him like that to begin with. The choice is yours alone whether it's worth all the upcoming cr@p.

Answer 2

NO you are NOT stupid for sticking around! YES they can both move on!! He has been abused and manipulated by her for so long he doesn't know how to handle this out of control situation. She obviously must be very JEALOUS towards you and still must have feelings for him because she is giving you both hell. What you should do is have a tape recorder or some kind of device to record this crazy incidents/conversations. You NEED PROOF!! Once you have proof you can go to the authorities Im sure she can get some kind of charges pressed against her. I dont mean jail but a restraining order or something. I think you and your boyfriend need to talk with each other to see what you two need to do. LEAVE out the negativity about his ex-wife. He needs to STAND UP and TAKE CHARGE and let his ex-wife know that she cant treat him or you like crap anymore and he also NEEDS to find out what she wants from him. Their is something that is obviously keeping her attached to him that she needs to let go of. Thats the only way that she is going to be able to let go of her husband and move on. He will be able to move on once she lets go of him and leaves the both of you alone. You SHOULD also STAND UP to her and let her know that she cant threaten you by saying she can cause you to lose your child. That is BEYOND WRONG!! You really need some evidence of these crazy conversations. Just DONT let her know you record any of them. I wish you the best this is really truly a tough situation to deal with.

Answer 3

is the child she is threatening to make you "lose" your man's? i think everytime she makes a threat against you, you should file a police report. even though they won't be able to do anything, having a file of "proof" might be helpful one day. especially if she ever threatens in writing. if it is on your voicemail make a copy and keep it. you never know what the future holds and showing documentation may give you an edge if you need a restraning order. your man may have been so beaten down by this woman he isn't able yet to distance himself from her. he sounds like a gentle soul and maybe he really needs you to make the nreak from this lady. if she is calling you from work on work time her employers should know about it. speak to them calmly and rationally so they take you serious. this lady wants attention, if you can ignore her maybe she'll go somewhere else where she can find a a more captive audience.

Answer 4

Do you know it is against the law what she is doing , if I were him I would call her lawer firm and report abuse . She cannot have your kids taking away , she is soooo full of sh*t . She just does not want him to be happy , and is using her own children to play her game , if you ask me , she needs her kids taking away from her , I would start to keep a diary of everything she tells all of you , dates ,time and what was said , try and record her on the phone , do what you need to do , tell your boyfriend to get himself a lawer , and do not tell the x wife . Do not let this women run your life , I have been through it before ,we'll lets just say , I played her game better then she did !!!!

Answer 5

I suggest you contact a lawyer and pursue legal means in which to protect yourself against this harassment. If he will not stand by you then you can't help him and his baggage is yours forever. Try to talk to him and say that for you, living in fear is not acceptable. If he cares about you then he should shape up and stand up to her. She does not have the right to harass you. Feel free to contact the authorities. Even if she works for a law firm, understand that if she has a criminal record via complaints from you for harassment and treats (which are against the law) you can easily get her fired.

Answer 6

a family member, (which he may still be considered) especialy if he feels threatend for himself and the kids, can have someone 'Commited" to a mental hosptial for 72 hours for observation. That is usualy long enough for someone who is crazy, especialy with anger issues, to show their true colors. If he could do this. she would probably snap in there and they would find her to be a threat. You could call them and find out if they can take her in for observation. They dont care if someone is a lawyer or what. They have the power once someone is inside their doors. Once she has a record of being unstable, it's likely Her 'Rights" to control him will be drasticly lessened. And He will be more able to recognise her true instability.

Answer 7

She thinks of her ex-husband as a possession to be controlled, manipulated, and harassed because "it" won't do as she thinks "it" should. His baggage and your baggage is making for one miserable future till she drops him.

You two need to start calling her bluff every time she starts up. I'm mean it, too. I've got a sister like her and you really have to stand up to them like they are just a bad child and you simply won't put up with it anymore.

Basically, she's just a bully and it doesn't take much Internet research to understand that all a bully really is is a loud and obnoxious frightened person.

Answer 8

You should leave him. She's threatening to make you lose your children? You aren't even relevant to their situation aside from dating him.

He may be asking you for your opinion but it seems he is playing both sides. As in, he's not telling you everything. He defends her when you try to offer advice?

Remember, there are three sides to every story. His side, her side and the truth. And typically no one will ever know the truth.

Answer 9

I am sorry I would have to leave or make her so scared of me she would issue a restraint on me. I would also call her boss and get her fired ( get a friend to file a private lawsuit even if it cost and make it seem she made a breech of privacy). File a restraining order against her. Scare the s.h.i.t. out of her if you really want this man. Do anything and everything you can to sabotage her.

Answer 10

I think that you are not stupid for sticking by him if you seriously love him. Explain to him that she is just upset because she is jealous of your relationship. There isn't much she can do legally unless there is proof of wrong doing which if you aren't doing anything then all her accusations won't hold any ground. Tell him that he needs to stand up for himself and tell her that he will contact local authorities to stop the harrassment if she wants to keep doing this bs.