You know how couple's get mad and "break-up" but, theres that stage where you both are building to get your issues worked out? Well what if during that stage your significant other fondled and masturbated another woman? Well you forgave him and asked him to sever all ties with her and said he would. Okay, well suppose you found out that he has been talkikng to her about every month since he told you he wouldn't? His explanation was that they are best friends and they give each other advice. Well you guys have another fight which ends in a "break-up" again. During this he fondles another woman's butt (and claims that he couldnt bring himself to have intercourse with her).You are very upset and and ask him but you forgive him. So after this you find out he still conversing with the woman he masturbated. You remind him of how he promised you he wouldn't talk to her. Well, you ask him if he regrets anything. He responds that he regrets promising you. Am I right to leave him? no trust!
2007-01-05 15:21:59 · 30 answers · asked by peachyprincess07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, i dont think you are meant to be. i have been in a similar situation where i asked my boyfriend (of 5 yrs) not to speak with a girl any more (she was getting in between us, and doing things i will not speak of) he promised he wouldnt talk to her anymore, since then he has talked to her about 5 different times, he also said he regretted promising me. well, i didnt understand why he must talk to her, they werent that close, but ever since the last time we argued about it things havent been the same, and actually i have fallen out of love with him, and mostly dont like being around him (i live with him under a lease until july):( i think its ok that you feel the way you do, but others may not agree, i think that it is just a personality thing we have developed, there are some people that will understand, and some people we are just not meant to be with i guess
2007-01-05 15:30:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Giiirl! Same thing happened to me. Together 5 years and decided to take a little space, you know clear our mind. He told me he met someone but they haven't hooked up, we had some issues and were young. Space was what we both needed and wanted. But the love was strong, so while we took space, we didn't at the same time. Still talked and saw each other all the time
I asked him if he still saw that girl. he of course says no. Eight months later we take our "real" space. Very little contact, but of course we were both still open to booty calls.
A year after the initial space talk, I find out about his new girlfriend and ask him about it. They were together the entire time (while we were together, and sleeping together) and now 3 years later they are married.
Everything is as it should be, but I realized that a long time after. I was sort of shocked but not crushed, I knew we both needed to move when we first talked about space.
If he said he regreats promising you not to speak to her, he's not going to stop LEAVE HIM. Don't give him a choice.
In time you'll realize you're better off, and much wiser and can share your story with another woman going through the same thing
2007-01-05 15:33:07 · answer #2 · answered by inlovewithwoody 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, women mature faster than men, men catch up between the ages of 16-19. I think the evolutionary reason for this is the fact that women have to undergo more reproductive changes, since the human body develops together (brain, height, organs) girls get to their maximum height faster and finish developing their grey matter 2 years early (at 12 rather than 14). This may lead to early social maturity but since that's more of a social construct they may not necessarily behave more mature. There is however, one advantage to developing mentally slower; it means if I take two 14 year olds, one boy and one girl, it will be easier to for the boy to develop a 'pernament skill' which can be kept within his grey matter as the girl is likely to have finished developing that region of her brain.
2016-03-28 21:46:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As girls, we usually think we can change a boy that we date. We also tend to stay in broken relationships because we are comfortable, afraid, or have low self-esteem.
I do not know why you have stayed with this guy after all of this, but I am assuming it is for some of those reasons.
The truth is, you deserve better than that. Taking a guy back who cheats on you only shows him that he can do it more. And once a couple breaks up once, no matter how many times they may get back together, they never have a good relationship. There is a good reason when you break up once. It's easy to forget that reason when you start to miss someone. As girls, when we are lonely, we tend to go back to the last guy we liked. But it is very destructive behavior. Do not be afraid of being single. Learn about yourself. Gain confidence and respect who you are and decide what kind of guy you will and will not tolerate. This guy should be one that you do not. Despite his good qualities, which I am sure he has, you need to let him go. Breaking your trust once should be enough. Luckily, you are not married, so you have the opportunity to get out with out a messy divorce. If you stay with him and get married, it sounds like it would come to that anyways. This relationship is going nowhere that is good, meaningful, or positive. Let him go, and move on. You deserve better. But remember, as Dr. Phil says, "you teach people how to treat you." You are teaching this guy that he can cheat on you and you will stay with him. Break up with him. Be single. Teach guys to treat you with respect.
I truly wish you all the best. I hope you are able to get out of this relationship with as little stress as possible. There will be pain and tears. But you can get through it. You can find the strength.
2007-01-05 15:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by A123456789 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You deserve way better than that, leave. He will never change, and who knows what he's been doing that you haven't found out about yet? Move on, you will find someone that will treat you much better, they are out there, my husband and I have been married for 8 years and when people see us, they think we are newlyweds because we are so much in love. I did go through hell and back to find him though, and so did he to find me. It was definitely meant to be. We also have 4 beautiful children.
I am so sorry you had to go through this, I was married to a real jerk the first time for 9 years, he cheated on me the whole time, lied, was deceitful and pushed me so far down I didn't even want to be alive anymore.....don't let anyone do that to you, move on.......Hugs for you!
2007-01-05 15:32:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely leave him, he doesn't respect you or your relationship. I have been with my partner for 9 years and we have never been close to breaking up for any reason at all and believe me if he even thought about putting his hand on another womans butt, let alone fondled it I think I would have to cut it off lol. Have some self respect honey, LEAVE HIM, find yourself someone who treats you how you deserve to be treated.
2007-01-05 17:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is not a fix all like America seems to feel like it is. And forgiveness is very important in and successful relationship. A successful relationship is one where both people are getting their emotional needs met. You told about him and his poor behavior but what do you get out of this relationship. You need him to stop all contact and become accountable for his time and actions before you can trust again. Both of you need to get some outside help
2007-01-05 15:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by Roger W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honesty and trust are very important. Without trust, a relationship will never be all it can be ... my advice would be to discuss it very seriously & perhaps seek couples counseling. If you don't think you'll ever be able to trust him again, move on.
If he cares about you and respects you, he wouldn't be showing this kind of interest in other people.
2007-01-05 15:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a ****head to me. It seems like he is taking advantage of your time apart to **** around with other women. If he was ready to truly commit to a relationship with you then he would be spending that time trying to win you back, not getting other chicks off. And since you know they give each other more than "advice", YES, you are doing the right thing if you leave him. You will be glad you did when ypu come accross something better--and you WILL come accross something better.
2007-01-05 15:32:07 · answer #9 · answered by Andreamy_23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should leave him, to be honest he probably did more than what he is actually telling you and if he said it would not contact her anymore and he continued, do you even trust him? You should move on and find someone that respects you
2007-01-05 15:26:46 · answer #10 · answered by *sexy mocha* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋