Ever since my divorce, my mother has treated me worst than my husband did. Every day she is fighting me about something. I understand I am a mother but I am also trying to rediscover who I am in the process. I used to not have any friends and now I am making some. She called me a "hooker" because I gave my number to a guy I was interested in. I am in my mid 30's so I feel unembarressed to do that. She really makes me feel so low. Also, most nights I will put my daughter to bed (2 times a night) and go off afterwards to study or to go to a coffee shop with my friend. She yells at me as I am leaving the door. I am always back by 9:30 never later because my friend works and I go to school so I am not out later than that.
help! I really really don't like my mother too much these days.
2007-01-05 15:00:32 · 9 answers · asked by La Mexicana 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow. All of you were so wondeful in responding. There is nooooo reasoning with her. I am trying to finish my degree so what do I do? And then what, hire a live in nanny? My husband is ALWAYS willing to watch her (different story) but he lives so far... Thank you guys!
2007-01-05 15:28:29 · update #1
In my defense to "xtremepoop" who sounds like my brother answering to this (who btw, freeloaded my parents with scares from lawyers and overdue bills)...you may have a point in that I probably do need to appreciate her more and tell her so.
For years, I was a dedicated wife and my child is very strong thanks to what I have shown her so far. I was with her everyday until she was ready for school...and I still am. I made sure to get a part time job with the school to be around her...but we don't see each other too much, lunch on occassion and then she accompanies me to tutoring. I feel like I am a good mom. Or else, she would want to be with her dad.
When I graduate to get my degree, it will be me, I am certain, supporting my parents, because my sibling will not make enough to do so. I was her favorite, btw, until this episode.
But on the other hand, you could be right, I have changed and it is not easy trying to "find myself". I could be loosing site as to what her view is.
2007-01-05 15:49:15 · update #2
u should separate yourself from her.
2007-01-05 15:04:29 · answer #1 · answered by lisa_08 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you go back to her house once you separated from your ex-husband? I know someone going through this right now. Playing "devils advocate" here, I think your mother may feel that now you are living back at home, in your mid 30's, that she would not only have to be the mother to you but in a weird way, a "mother" to your kids and even though she does love your kids, she doesn't want to be a "mother" again. Sounds strange...yes, but I think that is perhaps in back of your mother's mind.
Once you get on your feet and leave the house, your mom will definitely miss you. Most people think it's only the spouses and the kids that get the effects of divorce...not many people think of the grandparents/parents as well.
2007-01-05 15:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your 30 and living in your mothers house with your child and basically freeloading and not happy that your mother is smart enough to see through you.tonight try kissing your daughter good night and have a long talk with your motherover a cup of coffee but this time listen to what she has to say.you may learn somthing.
2007-01-05 15:25:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you think of there continues to be a wager for you as a kin, positioned all your potential into exhibiting her only that. it somewhat isn't any longer common, i understand... I grew up a Dr.'s infant and married a protection stress guy (loads of deployments). yet while she is conscious w/o a doubt the style you experience approximately her and the little ones, it could make her exchange her ideas. If she has already left the relationship, then i do no longer understand in case you're able to do something approximately it. you could not make somebody love you, and albeit, which would be to no longer common on the little ones. in case you 2 are previous the factor of reconciliation, then artwork on being acquaintances. My dad grew to become into divorced and it helped lots that he and my mom remained acquaintances after their divorce. I grew up with 2 loving mom and dad that cared for me and that still cared for another as acquaintances. It seems such as you and your spouse ought to sit down down and function a protracted communicate. good success.
2016-11-26 23:04:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking with your mother about this? Asking her why she feels the need to put you down. Remember to try and stay cool and collected and let her know how her treating you this way is making you feel.
Good luck sweetie!
2007-01-05 15:04:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find your own place as soon as possible. Then your Mother would not need to know so much about your personal life.
2007-01-05 15:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try getting your own place with your daughter,talking to your mom,ignoring what she is saying&praying.
2007-01-05 15:10:39 · answer #7 · answered by fnocentelli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRY TO TALK TO HER FIRST. IF THAT DOES NOT WORK TRY TO MOVE , TWO WOMEN CAN NOT STAY IN THE SAME HOUSE. TRY TO KEEP YOUR BUISNESS TO YOUR SELF, SHE DOES NOT NEED TO KNOW YOUR EVERY MOVE JUST BECAUSE SHE WATCHES YOUR DAUGHTER.
2007-01-05 15:08:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might need to get your own crib
2007-01-05 15:06:34 · answer #9 · answered by Bobby Boucher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋