Why oh WHY can't people see it my way? We are not married legally but we are married in our hearts. WTF is the

Question

To me in my eyes and in my heart he is my husband. People say that kids feel more secure knowing their parents are married...I say actions speak louder than words. If we were married and faught all the time but weren't and had a loving relationship which would be better. Get over it people...Why can't people accept the fact that some people don't want the government involved in their personal relationship?????!!!!!

Answer 1

It is no one else's business but your own. But just a friendly word of advice a marriage certificate does cut out a lot of red tape you have to deal with such as power of attorney and final wishes. I wish nothing but the best to you and yours. it sounds like a great relationship, congrats.

Answer 2

you're no longer dropping all human beings's time. it is a great united states and that i will wager human beings did no longer understand that SC had such rules approximately uncomplicated regulation marriage. i think of that the folk who could be maximum in contact approximately this can be the IRS. in spite of everything, being married does have some tax earnings and while you're claiming that and you're no longer married, they could have an interest, would not they? As in all criminal questions that contain components concerns (this does), components allocation, taxes, etc., you surely would desire to talk to an lawyer. working example, what if the two certainly one of you're able to smash up? That calls for divorce because of the fact that there's no such factor as uncomplicated-regulation divorce. it isn't any longer a trivial question - you do no longer want to have a less than perfect information of your criminal rights. it is particularly severe and for that reason, merely make an appointment with a lawyer and ask promptly out what your status is. examine isn't sufficient.

Answer 3

Well WHO do you want to pacify? Yourself or your CHILDREN?

A marriage certificate is more than a matrimonial license. It represents a bond of family and security that "children" do recognize and acknowledge as being "normal".

I would say to do what best gives the children the comfort and socially recognized standard that all their friends have.

When children are involved? It isn't about what YOU think. It is about giving them boundaries, standards, acceptance and commitment to a mate. It is about establishing accepted social structures and identity, names and legacy.

Say.......God forbid......your "mate/friend/partner" die tomorrow? Your children and YOU are not entitled to his social security, property nor can you even decide how he is to be put to rest. Rather he is burried, cremated or whatever.

Common Law marriage is not recognized in many states.

The most commonly held misconception is that if two people live together for seven (or some other magic number) years, they are automatically common law spouses. In fact, common law marriage has been abolished in most states, and in the states where they are still recognized there is no simple test such as number of years for determining if a couple qualifies as common law.

Today, common law marriage is only accepted in fifteen states and in the District of Columbia. The states that do recognize common law marriage are the following: Alabama, Colorado, District of Columbia, Georgia (if created prior to 1997), Idaho (if created before 1996), Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only), Ohio (if created prior to 10/1991), Oklahoma, Pennsylvania (if created before 9/2003), Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas and Utah.

Typically, common law marriages are recognized by these states when a man and woman not only cohabitate for a period of time, but also "live" as married couple, i.e. the woman takes the man's name, the couple files joint tax returns, etc.

Yet even in cases where a common law marriage is determined, those couples will forfeit certain rights ordinarily allowed to legally married couples. (this is where YOU and the kid's come in)

I would re-think my position on this if you expect to be recognized as his "wife" under the LAW that you so profusely want to deny. The "government" as you so named it, will determine where You and the "children" factor into the equation. His parents or closest family member HOLDS all rights to his burial and body, possessions, property and rights, NOT you.

So for you and the children's sake I would think about it a little more before refusing the Holy Bonds of Matrimony.

Answer 4

Some people don't accept it because they have seen people have problems later on, especially when it comes to children. What is so bad about a legal marriage? It seems that if you won't commit to a legal marriage, surely you wouldn't commit to having children. Children are a much bigger committment. People say that a piece of paper wouldn't make any difference. Personally if my husband didn't want to marry me legally I would wonder what his reasons are. I would think that he is not fully committed to me, and our future together. That in the back of his mind he is leaving an escape route. I think I deserve better.

Answer 5

I feel exactly the way you do! If 50% of all marriages are going to end up in divorce, then why risk it? Divorces are expensive, I don't believe in the sanctity of marriage AT ALL. The Government doesn't need to get involved, like you said, and weddings are too material anyway. The only reason some people get married anyway is because it is cheaper to buy land and homes and things like that when you're married.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with maintaining what is called a common-law marriage, but there are legal implications which you should be aware of so that you can deal with them if you think it appropriate. First is taxation; you would be taxed differently if married (income and inheritance, to name two), and could figure out how much difference this would make. Second is the question of next of kin: who has the right to decide on treatment in the event of a medical emergency? There are probably other implications as well, and as long as you are aware of them you may certainly do as you please.

Answer 7

I don't know the history of your situation or any discussion you might have had. However, I tend to agree with you. I don't see anything particularly special about marriage. In reality there are probably some advantages to being legally married in the event that something were to happen to one of you - especially if one of you isn't the natural parent of the child(ren). However, I don't see any need to be married to validate your relationship.

Answer 8

my reply to your email:


"Was this his idea or yours? I don't see anything wrong with two people celebrating the fact they want to spend their lives together; in front of family, friends, children, etc. If marriage isn't for you ~ it's just not for you. I'm not one to judge anyone. I can only offer my opinion. I know you get more out of a marriage and that it has more benefits. Marriage is sacred, but it is your choice. Good luck!"

Don't get all bent out of shape because of everyone around you. It's your life. Live it for you and your kids, not for everyone else.

Answer 9

I don't get the problem. You are happy, right? You love each other, right? Kids, until they're older, don't even know what marriage is. All that know is that they have a mommy and a daddy and that they are loved a protected. People need to get over themselves and let you live your life the way you want. It is, after all, your life and not theirs.

Answer 10

It doesn't matter what others say. If you and your husband are secure in your relationship and the kids are healthy and happy, bump those haters out of your mind.