PLEASE help and read all ...?

Question

I am in So Cal. my sister is married to a alcoholic, marijuana user, verbal abuse and physical, we have done everything to get her to leave him any ideas?? Any free counseling around So Cal you know of?? I cant take it anymore I want him to go away forever but since I can not make that happen ..How do I convince her!!

OK thank you all so much really I know I can not make her but she has started to take steps baby ones but steps. I am looking to find a free councelor or group she can go to hear somone outside the family tell her she is better than he makes her feel she has no friends and I think that she will start to see it if I could find her a group meeting or something but really thank you right now any advice I really appericate!

3 CHILDREN INVLOVED AND ALSO VERBAL ABUSE OCCURS WITH THEM HE HAS BEEN JAILED 3 TIMES

Answer 1

Try googling "abused women hotline" or something like that. Start calling around, there are several toll-free numbers you can call, they might be able to put you in touch with a local group, or at least sent you in the right direction. Sorry, I can't be more specific.

Answer 2

been there, done that. i met my husband when i was 15, married him when i was 19, then divorced him last year at 27 years old. He was both, an alcoholic and marijuana user, and very verbally and mentally abusive. I think i stayed, because i "thought" there was no where else to go. And i thought i could change him, and fix things. I also realized after i had the balls to leave, that there is more than him out there. i also realized i wasn't in love with him, for a long time. i might have loved him but i wasn't in love with him. And no i didn't listen to anybody. she has to want to go on her own. She will soon realize that she doesn't want to live like that any more. your a good sister for caring so much, but its all her decision.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, you can't convince her to leave her husband and the more you try, the more distant she will become with you. She knows more than anyone else what she's going through and that it isn't healthy for her. She still obviously has lessons to learn. Just be there for her when she needs you. Don't judge her, just listen. If she asks for help or advice, if/when she's ready, give what you can.
I don't know of any free counselling in so cal, but you can call social services in your phone book, or call a hotline set up for abused people to get info and pass it on to her. When she's ready, when she's had enough, she'll take the neccessary steps.

Answer 4

It will be very difficult to convince her. It may take many beatings and she will probably forgive her husband as he apologizes after each one telling her that he loves her.

You did not mention if children were in the picutre as well. If so, contacting social services anonymously may help the process a bit. I'm sure that you wouldn't want to bring the children in like that and it may seem like you are using them as a pawn. However, think again about the welfare of the children, do you want for them to be in that environment? Especially when they mimick the parents. They would most likely become alcoholics, drug addicts, etc. If there is a daughter(s), she will most likely search out a husband like their father. Do you want that? If child protective services got involved and there was the possibilty of your sister losing her children, I bet that would put the spark where it needed to be. If no children are involved, thank God and pray that your sister finally sees the light through the swollen, blackened eyes.

Answer 5

you cant make her. she has to be willing to go to counseling. You can only be supportive. Perhaps if you gave her a way out. A good avenue to escape from. A fall back place. A job, a home, perhaps even a guy waiting for her once she gets out might help change her mind. Its hard to give up security even when you are being abused. Give her a viable alternative and maybe she will bail on this guy. The second option is to call the police and report domestic abuse or talk to their neghbors and have them call the police every time they fight. Eventually he will go to jail even if she does not want him to.

Answer 6

I think you should let her read all of these answers and let her see for herself that it is not just your family that is saying the same thing. Some times it takes outsiders advice to make them open up there eyes and see that things just are not right with her situation. Also be there for her. She needs all the support she can get when she decides to make the move. Good luck .

Answer 7

Nope can't be forced but tell her what a great guy he is and how he is the best guy out there and maybe she'll come to terms with it on her own...like man he is awesome for never taking out the garbage... or gosh this time he managed to hit you and now you don't need to put blush on one extra cheek!! BullS**t like that and she'll get the point... that sucks he's an a**Ho**

Good luck.. and prayers for her and your familia

Answer 8

Pray for her,and pray for him, that is the best and only thing you can do.

Our lives are about choices, and your sister has made hers. You cannot force her to do something she doesn't want to do. God hates divorce, and I don't think He would appreciate you trying to destroy something He has put together. The husband might change with proper guidance and prayer, it happens all the time. You can't see God's plan, especially for your sister's life.

If you're serious about helping her, get her into a good church and the church eldership will "handle" the problem with her husband.

Answer 9

I hate to say this but you will not convince her, it will take something horrible happening to open her eyes. Some women never open their eyes and die by the hands of the men they love. I hope she leaves before something does happen.

Answer 10

wow does she stay with him because she thinks she can help him. Maybe she needs to leave him for a little this way he will maybe get a wake up call_