My husband and I split up 6 months ago. Now he says he wants to get back together, but I told him we would have to take it slowly, and the first thing we needed to work was our relationship as a family, which was one of problems before. We have spent 2 weekends together as a family, but I sometimes get the feeling he would rather be somewhere else. He always mentions how his friends have something going on the nights we are together, and it is almost like he wants me to say that he can go spent time with them. But I am not going to that because I feel that to work on our relationship is to BE TOGETHER. My questions are these: Am I correct in my feeling that he would rather be somewhere else, and Should I let him do his thing?
2007-01-05 14:31:14 · 9 answers · asked by rocknrollmom19812 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The thing that bothers me about all of this is it was his idea. I don't know if he just got lonely, or what, but I am afraid that he wants us around when he wants us to be, and I don't want that. And also, most of his friends are married or have kids, and they all get together. But since I don't drink, they don't want me around because they think I am goingto ruin their fun or something. And this is coming from several different people, not just him.
2007-01-05 14:51:36 · update #1
Seperation in a marriage is a process to try and mend
the marriage to where both parties get back togeather
again. This takes time and both of you will go thruough
your trials and tribulations about each other during this
time. However when one sees that no changes have taken
place and the marriage is still the same as while they are
seperated, after communication has failed, then the next
step is you know what. One can only give it time and try
and work it out but in the end if the two parties involved
still have the same differences and there is no change
then you have ur answer: Family values is the most im-
portant in a husband and wife relationship and if that is
not first priority then the marriage will never work out.
2007-01-07 08:18:01 · answer #1 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are correct for feeling that way, but it seems like he wants the best of two worlds and he can't have it. when you get married you should want to be with your family. are any of his friends married and have a family? if not then he just wants to be with the single guys and you know what single guys do! i would ease back together with him, but you have to let him know that play time is over and its time be a family man. you can have fun with your family. plan a night at the club without the kids and have some fun with the kids as well. you have to show him that having a family and being married is fun, not a duty. you and him are married, not just you. get some ideas and run with it. go to concerts, amusement parks, play basketball even if you don't know how. don't give him time to think about his friends girl, obtain his mind!!
2007-01-05 22:40:14 · answer #2 · answered by ken's princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-girlfriend and i were together for 3years and recently spilt up due to the way i treated her i was always taking her for granted and was never appreciative of the things she did for me i was always caught up into doing other things just like ur husband but ive changed and want to make things right with her just like how u want things right with him.....honestly if you think he'll change then i say yes get back with him because i just wished that i had a chance to prove that i changed to the person that i love but things dont always work out the way they seem you know. Well the best of wishes for you two and i hope things work out.
2007-01-05 22:44:28 · answer #3 · answered by jim_b_pin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that you both need time apart from each other. So what if he likes going and doing things with his friends, you pick a night and go and do things with your friends. I wouldn't hold it against him that he wants to go and do things without you, but if after giving him time to be with his buddies he doesn't start acting like a father or a husband, then you should cut ties with him. Maybe realizing that you're serious about leaving would make things different for him.
2007-01-05 22:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by Medic Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say find new married friends that you both can send time with. If he is being a baby about spending times with his friends then he isn't mature enough to take care of a family... I say let him go...
2007-01-05 22:39:50 · answer #5 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not a good fit. Remember if you decide to go with him, you are together, that is what couples do.
Just because you dont drink, doesnt mean you wont enjoy yourself or relate with his friends.
Tread lightly and compromise as much as acceptable.
Good luck
2007-01-05 22:55:38 · answer #6 · answered by an_awsome_woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like even thou you are spending family time together he is not there....I would let him go and move on with your life.
You are really trying to work on this relationship and he is not. You can not do it by yourself...there is no I in TEAM_
2007-01-05 22:39:36 · answer #7 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is telling about his friends 'cause he wants to show, that they have fun, but he is still with you.
I think you DON'T have to think. Just listen to your heart- it always tells the truth.
Good luck.
2007-01-05 22:51:09 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet_summer_breeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you want to move on to grow.
2007-01-05 23:15:36 · answer #9 · answered by Mia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋