My finacee had another woman sleep in his bed(They were friends and she was "locked out of her house") about a year ago. He claims nothing happend except that they kissed once. Yet around that time i found her underware next to his bed(She said it fell out of her bag).
They both say nothing happend. My fincee Gets really upseat when i ask him if he's slept with her, and sceams no.
Anyways, that was a year ago and that girl is now married and trys to be my friend. Her and her husband actually live with mine and my fincee best couple friend. Its been a year and its over with and i dont think he slept with her/kinda do. Yet i still feel really awkward around her and want to grill her every time i go over.
Should i shut my mouth and move on and be her friend? Or continue to be quite awkward and sketchy of her?
2007-01-05 14:15:33 · 16 answers · asked by Kristen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its wierd that she convieniently had underwear in her bag when she got locked out of her house. However, it seems that everyone except you has put this behind them. Perhaps you should to if you can
2007-01-08 14:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by Krista 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it this way, but not everyone has the spine it requires to be honest about cheating. I've been cheated on, and even though it lurked in my mind and I asked several times (due to the situation that was presented to me), the answer was always no. After some research and applied science (finally accusing after a proper "Cheating Analysis") she admitted to it. She even told me when and where, questions you will find make you feel far worse than any better for knowing the answer of. You see, often times people feel like they made a mistake, or that if they do it once then they don't have to say anything and it will be okay. Keep in mind that even a kiss is still cheating!!! Why would you just kiss a friend when there is someone else who loves you that is (I'm assuming here) more than a friend? There is no good answer. Also, don't be naive! Her underwear just dropped out of her bag? I'm sure she wore underwear home, but why is she pulling clothes out on the bed or changing in that room? Most people just go to the bathroom and change when they are guests... especially friends of the opposite sex. You don't need to shut your mouth. You need to find a man that doesn't lie. You are thinking about this a year later for a reason.
2007-01-05 22:27:36 · answer #2 · answered by thpsguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why couldn't she have slept on the couch, either they had sex (that's the answer I'm leaning toward) or she was just being trashy by leaving her underwear to make you think something happened. I wouldn't trust this girl as far as I could spit, and the fact that your fiance gets so upset when you ask him about it should set off a red flag in your head, I would hold off on any further wedding plans that's for sure. Why didn't he tell you this when it happened, I mean you are his future wife, why wasn't he open about this and ask you if this was okay, etc ? This is going to bother you for years to come. Either you believe your fiance or you don't. If you do, quit asking him about this and let it go, if you don't (and obviously you don't) let him know, and as a result marriage needs to wait. Don't get to caught up in that one day (your wedding) and how nice, happy everything will be, etc. Look at the bigger and more important picture, can you live with this or not ? Do you trust him or not ?
2007-01-05 22:25:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are focusing on the wrong question.
I love my wife.
More than that I love myself.
In 32 years I have never cheated on a girlfriend, fiance or wife. Not once, not ever.. and let me tellyou, I am a stud muffin!! 6'8, made of rock, work in film and TV, hell yeah!
But I digress honey... irregardless.. this conflict would never arise with me and wifey.. Why?
Because I would never let it happen. I don't sleep in the same bed as other women for any reason.. I have a lot of girlfriends and if one was locked out she could sleep on the couch and you would know about it in rea; time. Period.
No exceptions.. you need to be mad at him for letting this scenario prgress the way it did.. regardless of sex, you were disrespected... disagree? try sleeping in a bed with a man friend and see how he likes it...
2007-01-05 22:23:07 · answer #4 · answered by Champ 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Phleese... They "kissed once"? And then, "nothing happened"? Of course things happened; don't be foolish. How you go about it is up to you; you don't have to be this woman's "friend" at all; be civil, but keep your distance. You do have to resolve it for yourself once and for all, don't dwell on it; what happened, happened; if you are to continue the relationship with your fiancé, the past should firmly be left in the past. If you feel it's a one-time incident, and that your fiancé is not out looking for this kind of stuff - let it go; it does you no good to re-play it in your head over and over.
2007-01-05 22:21:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Whatever happened in the past is irrelevant, and they are both either ashamed of it. denying it and want to get on with their lives. let it go, it's for the best. we all make mistakes. if he is with you and you are to be married then that's what counts. You do not have to be her friend. just be civil. Sometimes it's best not to sweat the small stuff. focus on your life and forget about her.
2007-01-05 22:27:47 · answer #6 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it appears that she is going to be part of your life, for at least a little while. So you can either get over it or continue to make yourself crazy with jealousy. Which would you rather be? Happy or neurotic?
2007-01-06 02:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are going to leave him if he did then move on. If you speak up just going to bring all kinds of problems not just for your marriage but also for hers. If she seems like a nice person then just let it be. And hey if they did they did nothing you can do about it now. If you have a happy marriage just keep it happy. Like I said unless you would consider leaving him.
2007-01-05 22:20:35 · answer #8 · answered by micaso1971 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
finacee,happend,underware,fincee,upseat,anyways,trys,these are silly errors-are you actually old enough to get married?
Many grammatical errors, too.
They call this 'manglish'.
2007-01-05 22:44:01 · answer #9 · answered by 2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
got to stop it, it has been a year ago, she is now married, try being her friend, as u will never really know what the truth is, stop seeing yourself as a victim, see yourself as a fully confident person, and put the past where it belongs, he is with u, chose u, and u need to stop all the obsessing, or your going to drive him away.
2007-01-05 22:26:06 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋