Is this worth a fight?

Question

Ok so I am a junior in high school and will be going to college within a matter of less than two years.. I live close to a jr. college (15 miles) but I want to go to a 4-year that is 3 hours away... My parents think otherwise since I am apparently still an infant in thier eyes... I am considering telling them to kiss it and just going anyway seeing as I will be 18 and they have no rights then over me. Good decision or bad??

Answer 1

Yep. Been there. And I fully understand what you're thinking. I kinda agree with you...all the effort you put into the Jr. College will be lost and you'll have to start over again socially in two years (not that a Junior College will have much social life anyway, especially if you're living at home). So, there's no doubt that the opportunity at the 4-year school will be much better. The education offered there will probably be better too.

BUT, there are massive differences in cost. First at the Jr. College, you'll be able to live at home, which, while you don't see it as a big benefit, we are talking about thousands of dollars. There's a lot you can do with thousands of dollars other than pay for dorm rent. Also, the cost of the classes is probably also very different. College has gotten enormously expensive in the last few years, and most people really can't afford 4 years of full-tuition 4-year colleges. That's why many are using the 2-year model first.

I suggest you sit down and have a long discussion with your parents about college costs and things like that and figure out what will work out best. They may just be afraid that you'll go off and get drunk every night and flunk out your first semester. I had a lot of friends that did that, and I don't know if they ever did get their lives back together after that. Perhaps you can compromise by doing 1 year at the Jr College, and then transferring to the 4-year if things go ok.

Of course, all of this depends on who is paying for it. If you're independently wealthy or if you have scholarships lined up, then it doesn't much matter whether they agree with your decision. You don't need to be rude about it, but it IS your decision, and you need to help them understand. No yelling, no telling them to kiss it, just simple explaining. Then follow through on your decision. On the other hand, if you're expecting them to pay for your school, telling them to "kiss it" will prove to be a particularly poor choice. Finally, if you're planning on taking out loans, then perhaps it would be wise to hear what they have to say. One thing I have learned is that, none of us really had a clear understanding of how difficult money is to get when we're your age. I didn't get it until years later. That doesn't necessarily mean that you should do the 2-year college, but it does mean that your parents may have a point that's worth discussing. So, sit down calmly some evening, and hear what they have to say and why, and let them know what you're thinking and why, and see if you guys can come to a better understanding.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

First I wanted to say that being 18 certainly isn't the end of your needing your parents. At 30, as a wife and mother, I've needed my parents input and help more than ever. Keep the relationship with your parents strong and know they are only wanting the best for you and mean you no ill will.

A junior college will save money in the long run. Whether it's your parents' funds or yours. You can then transfer your last 2 years over to a university. You will all be happy in the end.

Remember when you go away to college and end up getting sick...it'll happen at some point in time because I've been there. It'll be your parents you'll want to care for you.

If you are the least bit unsure of your major, definitely get yourself into a junior college to save money. That way you won't feel confined to a particular major because of the cash that's been shelled out at a university starting out.

Good luck and remember, they love ya.

Answer 3

GO TO A COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

I say go to a community college to start off and see what you like. Alot of people give community colleges a bad rep, but trust me, they have all the same classes as the big schools. It just sucks cause you still live at home, and not as many parties.

Its waaaaaaay cheaper though.

Its best to start off at a community college, then transfer to a 4 year university. Talk to an advisor at your community college, they will let you know what classes transfer.

Im in my 2nd year of college, and will only pay $2,100 for 2 years of college already. First year was paid for by earning the MEAP scholarship, Michigan folks know what im talking about.

Most people think you have to go to a big school and go far away, or your not living life, yeah that may be fun, but its not all true.

Alot of people I know came back home after their first year of college because they partied too hard and didnt do the work and got kicked out, and now have a big debt to pay.

Community College is a good place to start

Just dont do a 2 year plan, transfer to a 4 year school

Answer 4

Okay, it's great that you are ambitious and you want to go to a 4 year college...but don't go just because you want to get away from your parents because you'll be a whopping "18." You have time to think about it, not too much, but enough. Talk to them about what YOU want to do with your life and if it really means something to you to go to a 4 year, then explain to them that it would make you happier to attend the school of your choice. But remember, they are paying for it, and it gets very pricy...so don't give them the whole "I;m 18 and I can do what I want." Because ads much as I hate to hear it too, they gave you everyhting that you have today...including a chance for education. So just sit down and talk to them. Maybe a community college isn't so bad. You can always Transfer buddy...there are so many possibilities.

Answer 5

Try to be reasonable with them. Also, give them the facts, write up a proposal explaining to them the benefits of going to the school you want to go to you may find in doing so that the junior college may not be so bad or even better, you may convince them that you really do know what you are talking about. Temper tantrums and ultimatums don't go far with the folks. Both parties escalate to a state of insanity that goes absolutely no where.

So, unless your parents are complete Nazis and physically and or mentally abuse you, stay on their good side, even if you do decide to go to the school that is 4 hours away, don't throw it in their face...not cool.

Answer 6

This is a slam dunk; but not to you.
The nearer choice is your way of keeping stress down,
and proving to your doubters that you're ready for a
larger college and near-independent living.

You may be ready for responsibility, but as a junior in
high school, your life experience is as near zero as a
melted iceberg. But that doesn't mean your parents are right about your "readiness", just because they're older either.

One other thing--no college in this country to my knowledge is
any good except to a self-interested tough mind who knows exactly why he's there--to get a piece of paper letting him do other things later on. People who've been in the army for instance find college a simple exercise in getting the job done one step, one day at a time.

Some courses can be useful--but the philosophy is frankly bad throughout. So, you need to find out about the people who teach the courses in your major; the one you'll need to take.

And I suggest you'd better have one--otherwise you can't protect yourself from your own waste of time or your parents' arguments that you're not ready for much of anything as yet.

Answer 7

I have one of those high-priced college degrees that I'm still paying on 20 years later.

My daughters got the chance to go to the local community college. The classes -- AND GRADES -- transfer to the University of Michigan, Michigan State, etc., which means that they are very solid academically. In addition, the cost was like $50 per credit hour!!!

I've taken classes at that community college, and I'd stack those profs and classes against those in my prestigious alma mater.

P*ssing off your parents is never a great idea. It's good that you want to be independent, but you will want their love and support in the future. Perhaps you could compromise -- live on campus of the community college, or get an apt, and go to the local place?

Answer 8

Bad decision to tell them to kiss it...especially if you are wanting them to help financially. What I would do is investigate the college you want to attend, cost and everything, and see if you can map out a workable plan to pay for it and present it in a well informed manner. If you approach them like an adult they may be more willing to treat you like one.
Keep an open mind about the junior college, you may want to do a semester or two there at first to save cost.
Do you homework on the matter and then present it to them.

Answer 9

You have time to think it over. Junior Colleges are much cheaper, and they introduce you to what college life is really about.

Are you paying for it, or are your parents? If your parents are, I would suggest that you give them an opportunity to voice why it is they want you to stick around. If it is for selfish reasons (they aren't ready for you to go yet) I would explain to them that you are ready to get out and see "the real world." If they are not paying for it, I would advise you to tell them that you are ready to get out on your own, and the college environment is what you want to be doing with yourself right now.

No, it isn't worth fighting over. Don't take the attitude that you are 18 and you will do as you please, though. It is still your parents' house, and if you leave on bad terms...you may not have a home to go back to if the University does not work out for you.

Answer 10

Been through this with mine. Find out why the want you to stay close to home. Is it because they don't see you being independent? Ask them to teach you to laundry, cook, balance a checkbook, handle a credit card, etc.... Is it a financial worry for them? Explain that you'll research schools and find which has the best financial aid package. Start researching local scholarships now like rotary or Kiwanis. Play fair because TRUST ME-you will need them whether you're living with them or 4 hours away.