And I have done this for him, in the past. Then, I want it more, because he is never sexually interested in me. Then, he gets angry. He is very selfish and boring in bed - but this was not always the case, or I wouldn't have married him. I am not without the opportunity for sex, there are several men who want me to have sexual relationships with them. My husband probably wouldn't even notice that I was gone. He is not gay, at least he seems to prefer women and has never had sex with another guy. What causes this and what should I do about it???
2007-01-05 14:08:18 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He doesn't have a self esteem problem, if anything, his esteem is too high. He isn't gay or bi, he truly gets off watching ME get off with another guy. We hang out together with one such guy outside of sex and there is NO indication of any sexual interest in him. He simply does not want to have sex with me unless he thinks about this first. At the same time, he also doesn't want me to do it anymore because I like it too much. I do like it, because it is the only time I really get to have good sex, although, honestly, it isn't really even that good. He is selfish in bed, and unless I initiate sex he doesn't want it. He has soooo many other interests outside of sex, including work... but honestly, he is almost asexual.
2007-01-05 14:29:04 · update #1
SOrry to say but your husband IS GAY
and just has not found the keys to unlock the closet door. I would be repulsed to NO end if my husband were having fantasies about being with a man.
A large minority of women who contract aids get it from a man who is leading a double life.
I did not make this up, check out the stats on the internet.
WHen they tell the story, they claim that they did not have a clue
YOU DO
protect yourself
D I V O R C E
this can never work
ask him if he would dress up as a woman to please you (scratch that, he might)
2007-01-05 14:11:47 · answer #1 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is probably not gay. Although, I would bet any money that he is insecure. If you and you're husband are still sexually active, my guess it is not love-making but merely sex. Does your husband kiss you? Is it angry sex that you have? You may find that the love is gone and there may be no hope in retaining the marriage. Check to see if he is also seeking out for emotional support. By this I mean online, at work, at bars, etc... I wasn't clear when you said, "And I have done this for him, in the past." You did what? Actually had sex with another man? In front of him? It sounds as though he is a very jealous man. You can NOT play into that because his jealousy will not go away. Especially if you have "done this for him, in the past". Only now, if he had even a little respect for you, which I doubt, he now has none.
Don't expect him to jump in front of a speeding train for you to push you out of the way.
Good Luck.
2007-01-05 14:38:10 · answer #2 · answered by vtctom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband is too involved to making the ends of your family meet. And by the time the day is over, either tiredness or next day tensions seem get over him. I know you have been trying for almost 30 years, is it may be that the seduction part might not have worked properly. I would say "Hats off to you" for holding this much. Probably if it was someone else, they would run out of his life. Trying sharing this with a good therapist and probably a good solution might come out.
2016-05-22 21:37:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There seems to be a lot of it going around, a lot of men fantasize about the wife with other men another women even the family dog. In your case I would just tell your husband you enjoy the sex period, and if he won`t then you want to.
2007-01-06 04:58:34 · answer #4 · answered by tonyflorida2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband may have a psychological condition called Sexual Anorexia. More "turned on" by fantasizing that another man is having sex with you than having sex with you himself. - Or you become more desirable to him after he has approved of you having sex with another man (Given you away), because then he can "reclaim you" sexually. Or in other words he wants you to 'make him a cuckold.'
2014-10-14 12:07:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats messed up, the last thing I want is another man getten some from my wife. I'd even turn down swinging, I'd like to try another women but I don't think I could deal with some one doing my wife
2007-01-05 14:17:46 · answer #6 · answered by Answerman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't even know where to begin, except to say that you two are a marriage councillor wet dream. I think this marriage is poisonous an negative and the only solution is a divorce.
2007-01-05 14:11:43 · answer #7 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a big problem of low self-steem.He feel that himself; is not enough man to sexually satisfy you.That is the real truth.Also that fantasy, is the only way to turn him on.Others men need porn to be on.He need to se a doctor,as soon as possible.Good question.
2007-01-05 14:20:50 · answer #8 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) the reason he acts this way in bed is because he's lost interest in you period.
2) even though you may be tempted to don't have sex with other men,wait till your situation is resolved.
3) his behavior has nothing to do with homosexuality.
2007-01-05 14:28:23 · answer #9 · answered by Georgewasmyfavorite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm guessing he is in the closet or not being honest with himself i would think that would be a sign of being gay or at least bi
2007-01-05 14:11:13 · answer #10 · answered by Matthew A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋