What are some funny inside jokes or funny comments?

Answer 1

* Calling someone a "dipthong" as an insult, or when people make a dumb mistake, saying they need to lay off the crack a few days.
* From a local comedian -- the reason the Taliban blew up the ancient Buddha statues was they were secretly supplying rocks to kids in the Middle East (to throw at soldiers); and the fastest way to get help to free Tibet is to start a rumor that there is oil over there.
* From Dennis Miller -- maybe we'd have fewer lawyers and more teachers if we paid teachers what lawyers make and vice versa
* Comment posted online identifying Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee as "(D) - Mars" after her mistaken referral to the U.S. flag on Mars.
* On-air broadcast where a host spoke compassionately about Katrina victims, saying that "they were so poor and so black."
(I think his name is Wolf Blitzer? The fact that he was serious makes this comment especially painful.)
* On a TV weather report discussing rain or snow, the woman anchor innocentlly asking the other man: "Where's the eight inches you promised me last night?" which cracked up the crew.
* Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at a Star Wars premiere, to a man explaining how his Darth Vader costume works: "And which button do I press to call your parents to come pick you up?"

Answer 2

when you get married, I'm totally buying you a really nice blender. embedded with diamonds, man!

person 1- "hey, my raisin still has the stem."
person 2 "eww, raisins have stomachs?!"

I would really love to be a boat someday.

person 1- "Could someone help move the piano out?"
person 2- "But, how are they going to fit the grand piano on the bus?"

thanks for the trip down memory lane! I'm still giggling.

Answer 3

Person #1 Banana!
Person #2: Muffin!
Person #1: Banana muffin!

I do not have a water bottle on my eye.

But my name is howard!! NOOOOO!

Legolas is giving Aragorn back his necklace in the two towers. (I thought it looked like money)
Aragorn: I've taken care of the halflings, master.
Legolas: Good work, Aragorn. You have done well.