My fiance and I were planning to move to where his family lives so that he can go to law school. School starts in August; we were going to move in June. Well, he decided to go up early for a "visit." He told me on the way up there that he's going to tell them it's for good, just to avoid upsetting anyone. Today I asked him to come home (it's only been a short while, but I miss him like crazy!) and he told me that Vegas is no longer home. He said he'll come back, but it'll just be a visit to see me (even if it's a long visit, like until June) but Wyoming is home to him now. It just hit me right then that I don't want Wyoming to be my home. Vegas is my home. I love it here. I am now terrified of moving; I don't want to. I doubt I'll feel differently in June. He has his heart set on moving there, and I don't want to hurt him or his family, and I love him so much; I don't want to be apart for him, but I feel like I need to be true to myself. What do I do? Thanks in advance!
2007-01-05 13:38:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, you must be true to yourself and be kind to yourself!! You must take care of you above all else. From everything that you have said, it does sound like your sweeheart is making plans either with or without you. You do need to sit him down face to face and find out exactly what he wants and what he expects from you. Honey, do not, I repeat, do not invest years in this man if he is not willing to give you something to rely upon and trust. Make a list of the pros and cons of moving and staying and look it over for several days. This sounds sort of corny, but it does work, at least for some of us. When I see things in black and white I am usually able to process it much easier and make better decisions. I wish you much luck and many blessings. Just be true to yourself!!
2007-01-05 13:45:40 · answer #1 · answered by Cindy Roo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be true to yourself or you will loose yourself. that may cause the relationship to end to begin with. I think you too need to talk about things and see if maybe everything still feels right or not. Letting one person decide where the whole family is to live is just right the two of you should do together.
And you never know Wyoming could be home too.
Good luck I hope it all works for you.
2007-01-05 14:30:13 · answer #2 · answered by tasha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds cheesy, but follow your heart girl. If you don't feel like you'll be happy with the move in June, then maybe it's a sign that you should move on.
I don't like that way he told everyone about his visit being really a permanent move. That should have been a decision that the two of you made together if you're planning on getting married.
The whole situation just smells bad to me. I'm so sorry.
I wish I could be of more help or comfort.
2007-01-05 13:43:04 · answer #3 · answered by bluegrass 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know you don't want to move to Wyoming, don't do it. You will just end up resenting him for taking you away from all you know.
You need to be true to yourself.
I don't like the way your fiance has gone about "moving" to Wyoming. It sounds to me like it was his plan all along to go early, and just didn't want to tell you to avoid confrontation. Marriage is a partership, and I feel you have already been manipulated and made his second priority.
He should be afraid to lose you because of his actions, but his behavior shows he is not.
I was in a similar situation once. My biggest regrets are always doing what he wanted to do, and letting him put other people and things above me as priorities. I have learned my lesson, moved on, and found someone wonderful, whom I will marry this summer.
Please do what you feel in your heart is right for you. You deserve someone who will love you as wholeheartedly as you love them, and make you their top priority.
Good luck to you, and I hope this helps. )
2007-01-05 13:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your fiance and you say you love him deeply. Once you are married how silly will it be for you to be there and him to be in another state. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices and you love him and want to marry him then you go where your husband will be. You should always talk to him about how you are feeling. I mean if you can tell us this easily then it shouldn't be that hard for you to tell him and change is good especially if it is going to benefit you. Others say follow your heart well your heart seems to be with this guy. You seem to be set in Vegas but what if Wyoming is where you should be? Don't let your fears tear you and this guy apart and don't let the fact that you are comfortable in Vegas tear you apart. If he is the one that God has for you then don't let him go. God Bless
2007-01-05 13:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say hun, but it sounds like your fiance wants everything HIS way and shows no respect for your feelings! Marriage is a 50-50 arrangement.....he should have sat down and discussed this with you first instead of telling you how it's gonna be. That should tell you something about what your future is gonna be like with this man.
I suggest you think long and hard before saying "I do."
2007-01-05 13:46:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are not going to move... You met him in Vagas and that is where you are going to stay... It would have been differant if you have met him in Wyoming... but you didn't .... Something is telling you that this is not right... He is a momma's boy and beleive me you don't want that kind of guy... get rid of him...
2007-01-05 13:42:51 · answer #7 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn if he is going to law school in Wyoming that means Laramie! I live in Laramie and absolutely hate it. There is nothing to do here, no good resturaunts, no theater, nothing absolutley nothing to do. I hate this state. I would live in Vegas if I could.
2007-01-07 17:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by Jace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience............. Don't move if you don't want to. If you do, you will end up miserable, missing Vegas, and resenting him for making you do it. You will always compare there with Vegas and it will never measure up, because that's not where your heart is. Vegas is. if you do move, you're only doing it for him and eventually, you will hate him for it and you will end up broken up anyway.
2007-01-08 03:41:12 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok this is a very hard problem to solve..... what you need to do is think about what you really want doyou love this man enough of do you love oyur surroundings more plus you have a little while to think about it.... so thats good but you should tell your man as soon as he comes to visit you
2007-01-05 13:46:13 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋