My husband and I have been married just over a year, but have been together for 4 1/2 years now. When we were first serious with each other sex was great and frequent. Then 2 years ago we had a baby and my mood toward sex has changed. Its still good when we do it, but I am never in the mood, mind you I am pregnant again. ok, well after we had our first daughter a few months later things hadn't changed much in my sex drive, it was low, and then I started seeing the cable bill he paid for and it was nearing $300.00 a month for a couple of months, we were living together, but in the middle of the night he would go downstairs and order porn. I confronted him and he stopped. Then about 6 months ago he started doing it again, so I passworded all the PPV on our satelitte. Now he is doing it online, racking up $100 on this months credit card, subscribing to porn sites. I am ticked off, very hurt and don't know what to do!! Any Advice????
2007-01-05 13:25:19 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most everyone has said, something like get involved, make it different, talk dirty, Well I am the one who tries the new things in the room. I try to get him outside or in the kitchen but he doesn't want too. I try to get him to be more vocal, I told him I LOVE it when he talks dirty, and it usually makes me climax quicker. But he doesn't respond much to my requests, he would rather have the porn, I love him dearly, I hate the porn, and I am just lost
2007-01-05 13:45:27 · update #1
To quote a famous line in sex and the city "it was just stress relief to a magazine". Now i certainley dont know the dynamic of your relationship with your husband but it sounds to me like his sex drive is still where it is when you 2 first got married. I would tell him honestley how hurt and offended you are but be prepared for his responses back because you may not like them...if this persists perhaps couples therapy would benefit you two... good luck
2007-01-05 13:31:10 · answer #1 · answered by docboom2386 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a couple of issues going on here. Your husband's appetite for porn and his spending habits. A little porn on the side is okay i.e. looking at some dirty pics online. But a habit that takes up a chunk of time is concerning. Spending $100 a month does not sound acceptable to me. He is probably looking for some erotic excitement in his sex life. I suggest you include yourself to certain extent in his porn, i.e. watch porn together, talk about what he likes, see if you can include yourself in that, such as pose in pics that only he will see. Even if it is not your cup of tea, marriage is about compromise. It will probably spice up your relationship.
2007-01-05 13:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Porn is a touchy subject with me too. I have a high sex drive and my bf doesn't, but he watches porn. It makes me feel pathetic. He says it is a way guys stay manogamous, so atleast he isn't getting it with a real person. Sounds like you husband is addicted though if it is costing that much money. You need to talk to him and explain your harmones are out of wack. Help him understand. Maybe you can do other stuff for him?
2007-01-05 13:35:38 · answer #3 · answered by snowbody 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The answer is simple....and I am not being flip When he goes down stairs you go to and sit with him. Tell him that you to want to be turned on.Request lesbian porn. this will make you both hot.I am a husband recently seperated. Sex died a slow miserable death in our relationship that used to sizzle.After sleeping on the couch for three months I decided that it was time to move out if she was not going to share our bed anymore.Her answer was always the same. She would say there is more to our marriage than sex.To me that was saying "there is more to life than breathing. If you stop to breath you die. Stop the sex love dies. Single sucks but I dont have to lie on my bed at night wondering what the hell happened.
Get the porn out of your Computer and back in your bed where it belongs.
2007-01-05 13:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by kevin h 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am w/ you I dont like porn and am bothered by my husband looking at it. And he isnt making it any easier for you to deal w/ it while your pregnant that is very stressful alone. When a woman is pregnant we cant do all those flips and flops our husbands want us to do so they pay for it in order to get satisfied. Find the cc and cut it up if you have to disconnect the internet. This can easily become an addiction that will destroy your marriage. Talk to him first and if it continues pull the plug on him and if in continues after that you decide what to do next.
2007-01-05 13:33:42 · answer #5 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you peeved because of the money he's spending on porn, or the fact that he is watching it? I say tell him to go rent. It's gotta be much cheaper than ordering it from cable, or online (and there is plenty of free porn online, BTW). I couldn't care less if my husband watches porn or not, but if it became a big expenditure, I'd definitely have a problem with it.
2007-01-05 13:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am so sick of hearing how men NEED sex more then women do.We no how to control our sex drive you men use any excise to justify your behavior.Any man who watches a pig of a woman playing with herself and doing what ever the man on the other end tells her to do is sick,sick,sick and does not deserve to have a good wife or woman beside him.Let him go out and marry the pigs he likes to watch.
2007-01-05 13:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Watch it with him. You may find it will put you in the mood again:)
There are many different forms of porn, so explore and see what's out there. If you find you don't like it, that's OK. But who knows, you may find you like it.
2007-01-05 13:39:15 · answer #8 · answered by alexis09178 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good questions for the uninvolved
It would seem clear that he's horny. You could be grateful he's masturbating instead of finding new girlfriends. So, the simple answer is relieve him of his load much more often. Or, if its the money you could buy dvd's and let him go at it. My marriage experience is that it never works to demand the non horny to have more sex. I've been on both sides of that.
2007-01-05 13:34:18 · answer #9 · answered by charlie at the lake 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You said in your question your sex drive was low, Well men need sex and when he keeps trying and being rejected by the wife it's easier to find another way, be happy it isn't another women, it's just a video
2007-01-05 14:15:19 · answer #10 · answered by Answerman 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋