I am about 3 weeks away from the birth of my third child. I have been a stay at home mom since my first born 3 years ago. My husband has become addicted to drugs and is not able to work or willing to change right now so I need to know do I move back in with my parents or stay in our rented house for a couple of months with federal aid then move into an apartment? Both are not ideal of course. I just want to make the transition easier for my two children. We are lucky that I have wonderful parents, but we will be very cramped at their house. I just don't know what to do.
2007-01-05 13:06:18 · 24 answers · asked by needtotalk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Move back in with the grandparents....it's win-win! They win, you win, and the kids win. It will be good for all concerned.
2007-01-05 13:12:03 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'll speak from the parents point of view. I've had my daughter move in with me a couple of times. Things worked out fairly well. Just make sure you help your parents with the house work, cooking, laundry, just everyday chores. It is going to be a very trying time on both parts. There will be some tense moments but they will pass.
I love my grandkids and will do anything to make sure the have a safe place to live. Right now your kids need to know they are not the problem. They also need to feel secure and safe so keep them in mind when making the decision.
Prayer will also help. Good luck.
2007-01-05 13:28:04 · answer #2 · answered by Judy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing is to get the children away from their father. As you know, it is just too dangerous to have them around a drug user. If your husband still lives in your rented house, you should move back with your parents.
Otherwise, you have to figure if you can stay at the rental financially and if you will need the additional support of your parents to care for the three young children.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-05 13:14:53 · answer #3 · answered by Contessa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess my first question is is there any chance your husband will be back causing trouble. Are you safe in your home? I know you would much rather be independent and stay on your own but I wonder just how safe you will be. I would say then to move in with your parents. That will also be easier for you during the birth and early days home with a new baby. It sounds like you have a great set of parents.
2007-01-05 13:14:50 · answer #4 · answered by GPHS 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well done for putting your kids first. This must be a hard descision for you.
If your Parents are willing to help, I would definitly go there. Your Kids will greatly benefit from their familiarity and their love and they need as much stability as possible. I would not stay in the rented house a moment longer than I had to.
I hope things work out for you, life is full of many tough decsions, but having the support of good Parents is a great assest so use their experience and if they feel it is right to join them for a while, do so.
2007-01-05 13:17:13 · answer #5 · answered by Marmitemonster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know better than anybody if your parents are in shape for you and your two kids to stay as long as you need help. Just becuase you goon federal aid and get your own place doesn't mean your parents can't come help you. personaly I'd say get your own place cause new borns are a hand full even for young moms let alone grandparents add to it a toddler and a cramped house you do the math.
2007-01-05 13:16:00 · answer #6 · answered by baby11kc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always better to be independent of your parents, not that they don't want you but you need to be able to have your privacy and your children need their home. Your parents can babysit when you need them and help out in other ways. The same happened to me & my first husband & I had 3 kids went home to mom and dad and they were great to me but I could not be a complete parent and they could not let me grow up. I had to leave and give my girls a home of their own. After the baby maybe you can stay with them for 3 weeks and after you go home everybody can see at your house for a while untill you are on your feet. But if your parent are not like mine were( kindhearted and in control) it will work out.
2007-01-05 13:20:41 · answer #7 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about the husband. Do what' best for you and your children. That's the most important your health, new baby and ur other children.
For at least now, might just be a good idea to move in with a family member, if they're able to help you in any way. Being cramp is much more worth then having no support.
You can alway apply for- Section 8- Housing
Welfare.
I prefer having no husband and being able to take care of myself and my children.
Take it easy
Best of Luck
e-mail me if you wanna chat.
latinapr1229@aol.com
2007-01-05 13:15:40 · answer #8 · answered by latinapr1229 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is flat out refusing to change and your parents are willing to let you come back to their house for a while it would be easier for the kids to go there because they already know your parents and won't freak out about a new environment. Plus your parents can help out with the kids while you try to gain employment. And you know the kids will be safe. And your parents would probably prefer you were with them in a cramped house and not out on the streets or living with a druggie.
2007-01-05 13:15:01 · answer #9 · answered by Becca 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1 baby a year??! Not for me. I would go where u will get the most help & support. Move on w/your life get away from that idiot!! What a time to be addicted & not working. I would say get fed. aid & get help w/ schooling make a life for u & your children You may meet someone who appreciates a working mother that soley dug herself out.
2007-01-05 13:27:19 · answer #10 · answered by Dotr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if this is the right thing or not, but if it were me, I would move back in with my parents. Having somebody there to help you with three children will be very important in this awful time in your life.
I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers.
2007-01-05 13:09:04 · answer #11 · answered by FutureMrsMarsalia 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋