My bf and i got back together 5 months ago after splitting for about 6 weeks,we have a 4 year old son with learning difficulties.He has started drinking and staying out all night again after promising things were going to change.
He stayed out last week and has been really quiet and distant ever since although just the week before he promised the new year was to be a new start for us.
Anyway tonight he hasn`t come home again,he sent a voicemail message to my home phone saying "i wont be back tonight,working tomorrow,we`ll speak tomorrow" and his phone is switched off has been all day.
I`ve been sitting for the past few hours sobbing and feeling sick i don`t want to have to go through all those horrible feelings again,wondering who he`s with and what he`s doing,it`s killing me,i don`t think i`ll cope again.
Ialso found a mobile number tucked away in an old shirt he never wears,i phoned it and witheld my number and a girl answered.
Do you think he`s going to leave us again
2007-01-05 12:57:37 · 27 answers · asked by onlyme 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I`m sorry for going on abit here but i`ve just got alot of stuff flying around my head and feel so alone and need to get it all out.
Advice very much appreciated,thanx.
2007-01-05 12:59:03 · update #1
I am sorry to say this but he is not going to change anytime soon. He may change way down the road, but you already have one child and do not need another one to supervise. There is a phrase that says, "Screw me once, shame on you; screw me twice, shame on me." Don't be a fool and let him keep running your life up and down through a roller coaster.
2007-01-05 13:04:24 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer C 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Before i even read about you finding the phone # i knew that was the situation. when men get distant for no reason, staying out late, no interaction with you, that is the first sign of cheating.
you WILL cope again because ...(and im keeping it sooo real) YOU HAVE TOO.
Its obvious if you've been moping the last few days that you feel in your spirit something is not right, and unfortuanatly that you have to listen too and believe, the little voice is ALWAYS right.
as far as your son goes you HAVE to be strong for him, i no its hard i have a one year old and his daddy is an asssssshole physically and mentally abusive and unfortunately i was a stay at home mom with no money no job no education to escape it... BUT I DID! i was just like you sat and got depressed and moped but i thought about my baby and you no SNAP OUT OF IT becuase they need at least one responsible and strong parent and YOU are that!
it is hard i no it is lawd the days ive had, but just it starts with you, dont wait for someone to do you right, like most men when you start doing them wrong getting your own life and ignoring them leaving their closthes unfolded on the bed if you do cook tell them they can eat whenever and go out even if your just going to a bookstore, thats when they listen up,
i also suggest you and your son if possible going away for the weekend if you have some relatives to visit, this will make him realize what "home" feels like when there is no "family. and also help get your mind off it.
he is stepping out on you and by staying out overnight he really doesnt care anymore. or respect the household so yeah ma get over it, acknowlege it and let it go. you guys will be fine and better without him, your son doesnt need to see you sad all the time.
find your power and regain it, find your stregnth and use it.
let him leave you will still be US.
love always envy
2007-01-05 21:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by envyme 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, when i was in the 4th grade my dad left once and then a few monthas later my mom let him come back and things got almost back to normal and then he decided he wasnt happy again and he left again. And this hurt worse than him leaving the first time. And if this is putting you through too much and hurting you then I think it's time to let him go and try to find someone else that will treat you better. But if you are wanting to make this work then just tell him you don't trust him and he needs to let you know more about what he will do so you don't worry...sorry if this doesnt help.
2007-01-05 21:12:34 · answer #3 · answered by holly j 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Please don't let him put you through this again. Why would you allow him to come back into your home and begin where he left off. That does not make any sense. You did well without him, so kick his butt to the curb and continue on with your life without him. Your child is more important. He needs your full attention to be able to succeed in life with his learning disability. You can help your child achieve more with any added hassles. Let him go and collect that child support. YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! Pray on it... Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
2007-01-05 21:21:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anastacia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is a tw*at and you don't need him, and your son doesn't need a dad like that in his life, you will be alot happier letting him go, you have the evidence that hes not faithful so why are you putting yourself through this again,you and your son can be a happy family of 2, and yes if you don't get rid of him he Will leave you again, and please don't take him back again when he does, hes using you an making you feel like crap, you don't need that, have a time out from dating anyone, it will make you a stronger person being alone for awhile, it wont be easy but you can do it, i really do hope you get this sorted and please don't put up with that sh*it anymore. good luck x
2007-01-05 21:20:22 · answer #5 · answered by KELLY I 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he's just playing games with you. Not even staying or coming at hom for you and your son. Open yours eyes a bit. - they do say love is blind. But it sounds like he's just playing with you.
Maybe you should just move on with your son, and forget about him. There's so many guys out there. That want a serious relationship.
Where does he stay when he's not home?.. Does he work 12/24 hours?.
Don't stay with him, just because you have a child together.
Best of Luck
e-mail me if you wanna chat.
latinapr1229@aol.com
2007-01-05 21:06:20 · answer #6 · answered by latinapr1229 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
dang girl, I'm sorry that U have to go through this especially with your child needing extra attention. But if it makes you feel better, your not alone..I'm sure your man is fighting his own demons and that's something U can't help him with..u just have to pray for him & lead by example. He might noe even be the one for U..but a woman can change him..a good woman. so save your self from being attacked by the devil, by all these thoughts he's putting in your head that makes you lose focus and cry, and think all kinds of stuff. Be strong for your family and your baby..& a family that prays together is a family that stays together. & remember, if it doesn't work out..you will be stronger and more wiser. take care.
2007-01-05 21:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by J-LUV 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Don't wait for him to leave---kick his AZZ OUT!
Hon, he has nothing to offer you! Get things started with the courts so you can get child support, then get a job, lean on your family & friends until you can stand upright, and make a great life for you & your child!!
Your BF is probably cheating, probably has another kid too, and you can do a LOT better!!!!
Dry your eyes, gather your pride, and move on...all of us are behind you!!
God bless you, girl!
2007-01-05 21:07:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Figure out why it is that you let such a turd in your life at all. If yu say "I LOVE him" then you have a very different definition of love than the dictionary does. You can do well but not with you depend on guys who aren't worth a tinker's darn.
BTW, he's already left you. Why do you think he stays away all night?
2007-01-05 21:11:39 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Seems like he's giving you no other option than to end the relationship. It's clear that he has other priorities. You need to change your priorities too. Focus on your child, find a place to live or move him out and file for child support.
2007-01-05 21:02:51 · answer #10 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋