My boyfriend and I are engaged and having a wedding for our friends and family in June. Only problem is, he hasn't told his parents. He's a year away from his Bachelor's Degree, and his parents are paying for his school and expenses while he's been going. We can't afford to continue his school, and he's gambling that they'll pay for the last 6 months since he's so close. We've been together for 5 years so we're not waiting any longer to get married. His parents have said they don't want him to be in a relationship until he graduates, and have even threatened to kick him out if we dont break up. We didn't break up and they didn't kick him out; they are genuinely nice people, they just don't want me to stop him from finishing school.
How do we tell them in the least-upsetting way? They're going to be mad no matter what, but I'd like to be respectful. Anyone go through angry in-laws before??? Please be nice, people!!!
2007-01-05 12:50:15 · 8 answers · asked by Super Chic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like you're genuinely concerned for his future and his parents, which should be a major plus with them.
Talk to them and explain what you did with us - tell them that you very much want to see him finish his degree, but that you're going to get married this June. (Explain to them that it will be a cheap wedding and a nonexistent honeymoon, or they'll wonder why you can't afford school but CAN afford a wedding!). Tell them that it would mean the world to you both if his parents would give you their blessing.
Life doesn't always work out the way we want it to, but they should know that by getting a daughter-in-law who respects them and values their opinion, that should more than make up for whatever they feel they've lost in him getting married so young.
2007-01-05 12:54:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well to thoughts if you guys really respect them and there feelings then maybe weight the 6 months till he is done i know it will suck to put it off but why risk the chance they will get crazy over it but if not maybe the first thing is just to tell them you guys are engaged and see how that goes they might not freak out to bad because he is so close and then once that is out and done then about a week later sit them down and explain that after talking you guys have picked a day and that it is before graduation and that your hoping that they understand that a June wedding is what you both want and that they will continue to help their son through school so he can finish but be prepared that they could say no but hopefully they will see their son has done so well so far even with this relationship and that you totally supported him the whole way and will be OK with it and wish you well! good luck
2007-01-05 12:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why couldn't you just wait one more year until his is finished? After that, you'll have all the time in the world to be married and be together. And you would both be better off if he does recieve his bachelor's degree. I would wait. It's not that much longer.
2007-01-05 12:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's your fiance's place to tell the parents, and for your sake, I suggest that you are not there to get hurt in any way, physially or mentally. tell your husband that if they love him they should respect his decision, and that they may be paying for his school, but they can't possibly expect for him to be single and not live a life but school and work, they are being overbearing, and use his schooling as control, the backlash may lead to him becoming homeless so I suggest you both be prepared for an apartment. He needs to tell his parent that any disrespect they show you, they show him, and that they need to respect both of your boundaries as you both become husband and wife and keep any "empty nest" feelings they get to themselves as it is their problems, not either of yours. Good luck
2007-01-05 15:29:30 · answer #4 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are basically trying to ruin his career. The likelyhood of him going back to school is slim to none. His parents should NOT continue to pay for his education while he shacks up with you against their wishes. He will not be dedicating the proper amount of time to his schooling. Hold off on your wedding if you actually care about each other.
2007-01-05 12:55:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well they r his parents they are goin to be protective of him no matter what let his parents kno that u respect them. its better to tell them soon and for them to not find out on there own. i kno a couple who just got married and they both had oen yr of school left and they are doing fine. when u tell them dotn get angry and deff dotn yell. be polite in telling them u guys are goin to get married let them kno how much u guys love each other
2007-01-05 12:57:06 · answer #6 · answered by dancerbabe32506 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just explain to them you understand their conecrn as education is a very important thing. promise them that nothing will stop him from finishing and stick to the promise. Do whatever it takes to finish school.
2007-01-06 07:50:00 · answer #7 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just tell them the truth? If you are mature enough to marry then you should be mature enough to tell his parents,
2007-01-05 12:53:25 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋