Is he watching you from above?
Does he really love?
Where is he when one dies?
Does he see the eyes of those who cry?
The world is nothing but dry.
He could be made up.
Yet, the earth revolves around the sun.
He could be made up.
Yet, my heart pumps.
I see that you love him and worship nothing but him.
Should I invite him in?
Will he guide?
Or should I hide?
Why does one die?
Is he already within me?
Do I just need to look in the mirror?
He keeps you sane.
But, why is the world insane?
Who is he?
Why will he care?
One day he will give me hope.
Why? I don’t know nope.
2007-01-05 12:41:46 · 8 answers · asked by Vee 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Yes, it's good. Let Him in. He will change your life forever.
2007-01-05 12:44:56 · answer #1 · answered by mandie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He gives you hope enough to write this gem of a poem, I think it is inspiring and that you should continue to write. Change a few of your rhymes though like the nope thing? May I? The last line, "Why? I don't know, I just cope". And if you use it I will want 29.95 plus tax. Only kidding ha ha ha. Have fun and what a great subject a love in your heart always starts the artist in all of us. Stay that way and don't let anyone put you down.
2007-01-05 21:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest you describe everything more (Some people don't get the pure big-idea thing unless you anchor it down to earth with a metaphor. Also, you might want to weaken your rhyme. Right now, it seems forced. Like, adding 'nope' at the end doesn't make grammatical sense. If it's only there to maintain rhyme, lose it. A poem isn't a rhyme. A poem is descriptive writing on something that is important to you. I love the ideas in this poem, but you need to demonstrate them more carefully.
2007-01-05 20:46:40 · answer #3 · answered by DoodleGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a poet, I'm more of a scientist. As a scientist I don't like it. It seems to be focused on some mythical being. Is it about Apollo? Thor? Ahura Mazda? Doesn't really matter, not interested.
2007-01-05 21:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
no, this poem is not good. It is not well written. The rhyme is stiff. the last line should be changed.
but you place this in philosophy. curious. most philosophers agree that there is no proof that god exists or does not exist.
2007-01-05 21:06:14 · answer #5 · answered by Dreaux~ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
cool...your part of the list-----"Gifted Child" you're great. Yes this is good have someone check your work.
2007-01-05 20:47:56 · answer #6 · answered by Des 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is.Very insightful.Did you write that yourself???If you did,even better.If you did not,still good!!!
2007-01-05 20:46:12 · answer #7 · answered by Mr Bellows 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not bad...
2007-01-05 23:56:15 · answer #8 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋