please help me, my fiancee got angry at me cuz i was late comming home. he was drunk and he started yelling at me and started beatibg me with the rolling pin, im fine now, the dr's asked what happened and i toldthem i had fallin down the stirs. i'm really scared and he doesnt know that i'm pregnant(i found out last week and i just dont know how to tell him) he's never yelled at me and has never hit me untill now and i really really love him, but i dont know what i should do. i'm really scared cuz friday is usually his drinking night and i dont know if hes gonna be mad at me for what ever reason. before he didnt drink he was so good to me never yelled never said bad things to me never hit me but now when he sees me crying cuz i'm scared he says "oh mami i'm sorry u no i luv u girl" or "mami im sorry i dont mean it and i'll stop hurting you" i know he is a really great guy and i no he does love me but i dont know how to deal with the beating, (hes hit me more than 1 time) wat shold i do
2007-01-05 12:40:57 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
my family doesnt believe me about him they say"oh you just are over reacting" do u think once i get married to him things will change?
2007-01-05 12:50:35 · update #1
when i ask him why he does this to me he says"ay chica,if u act like a child u will be treated like a child and will be put back in your place"
2007-01-05 12:52:20 · update #2
i was late home cuz my friend just had a baby and wanted me to stay a little longer with her untill her husband got back to the hospital and i was there till about 1 and got home around 1:30
2007-01-05 12:59:25 · update #3
That's abuse.
If this continues, speak out. get help & leave him.
You're pregnant, tell him when its a good time, he's bound to find out anyday...
2007-01-05 12:46:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Get out, NOW! It dosen't matter if your pregnant, or that he's never hit you before, or that you think you really love him. If he hits you once, he'll hit you agian. Don't wait, leave him. Do you really want to miscarry because he beats you? Girl, it dosen't matter if he's a nice guy sober. He's a violent drunk, and he'll continue beating you. He'll keep hitting you when you upset him, and gradually, he'll start doing it when he's sober, or because he dosen't like the way you said something... do you really want to be in that kind of abusive relationship? Men who hit women don't just stop- the behavior will continue. He obviously thinks thats a perfectly acceptable way to express his anger. What kind of jerk beats a woman because she came home late? What, is he your mother now, to give you a cerfew? you're your own person- if you want to come home late, thats your choice. There is never any excuse for hitting someone who is less powerful then you are. He's a vicious bully, and for your own sake and the sake of your child, get the hell away from him. Move in with a friend, and don't tell him where your going. Call him or leave a note explaining why. Don't do it in person; you can't know how he'll react. Chances are, he'll just hurt you more. But whatever you do, don't give him another chance. Get out before its too late.
2007-01-05 20:53:04 · answer #2 · answered by paintmeblue719 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If your pregnant than you have a obligation now as a mom to protect your child if you want to stick around for that kind of stupid **** thats one thing but dont bring a innocent child into the works if your going to stay with him you may want to consider your options with this pregnancy before he makes it for you with these beatings.Is this really the environment you want for your child .Your baby comes before any man I would get out while you still can cause it only gets worse if it ever gets better.Please put your childs safety first if not your own.Thats what a good mom would do.And if you cant do that if he is more important than your child you better not have it.
2007-01-05 21:31:45 · answer #3 · answered by symbawyo69 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is telling you that you are acting like a child and need to be put in your place, he is dead wrong. I started out my first marriage like you. Well, the man won't change. If he is hitting you now he will continue to hit you. Nothing you have done or ever will do is cause for someone to hit you. You are a special girl, God has chosen you to be a child of His. Trust in Him.
Once the baby is born, he can start abusing the baby (that's what happened with me). I went through 13 years of hell, terror, fear for my children (3) and myself. Unless he is willing to go to anger counseling I would drop him like a hot potato.
2007-01-05 21:41:39 · answer #4 · answered by Lynn B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, getting married will not change anything, it will only make things worse. You may lose your love, but you don't want to loose your life. You sound like a nice intelligent woman, and you deserve better then that. When there is drinking, there is violence. Please, take the steps to get yourself out of a situation that will only get worse. You could raise your child, and collect child support, or an adoption is even an option.
Good Luck, and best wishes,\
Amanda<3
2007-01-05 22:20:18 · answer #5 · answered by 7abibi♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out don't take that sh*t... from anyone ..... even if your in love with him. cause if you get married over the years he can very well kill you or if you have children you don't want him beating them do you? Get out now, just make sure you have some support from a friend or even and abuse group ( they can be confidential) so he can't do anymore harm. I don't know you but no one deserves to be treated like that no one. Do it now or you may never have the guts to later. Just make sure that you have someone behind you for support cause it will be hard no matter what choice you make. You don't wanna risk him causing you to loose that baby... all it takes is one swing.
2007-01-05 20:53:06 · answer #6 · answered by edensappletree 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You leave. That's what you do. It doesn't get better. I know this from my first marriage, and it only gets worse. I left when he beat me up in front of our eight-month old son, and broke eleven bones. My little baby was covered in blood by the time that the cops got there.
It started out with a hit when he was drinking, though.
Honey, you want to leave before he gets you pregnant. Have you ever wondered why he's with someone eight years younger than him? You're barely legal, sweetheart.
Let me tell you why. He knows that someone HIS age will not tolerate his behavior.
Please, please, PLEASE leave before it's too late.
2007-01-05 20:51:33 · answer #7 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Please get away from him. Are you nuts? I'm not trying to be rude but I'm being serious why oh why would you even think about staying with a man that hits you. And for god sake don't have a baby with him. He'll just beat the kid when it gets older. And no it won't change things when you're married it's only going to get worse... because he'll see that as a way that your trapped and won't/ can't get away from him. Good Luck and please please get away from him.
2007-01-05 23:15:22 · answer #8 · answered by Bast 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG Sweety , you need to get out, I know someone that is started out just like that, and if he is doing it before you get married you know it will only happen again when you are married, that is what happened, and with the perosn I know, she was pregnant and he pushed her down the stairs, so you need to get out.
2007-01-05 21:06:50 · answer #9 · answered by outdoor_girl93 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM, it will only get worse trust me my friend has gone through the same thing she just kept believing his lies and taking him back but now that she has a baby by him she has banned him from her and her daughters life she went as far as to get a restraining order against him cuz he threatened to take the baby and kill her.
2007-01-05 20:47:44 · answer #10 · answered by mdoud01 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
UNDERSTAND THIS---ABUSERS DO NOT CHANGE!!
You are in an abusive situation and need to get out now. The next beating may kill you or your unborn child and if not could still send you to the hospital and him to jail. If you love him, get out and get him help. DO NOT WAIT!! DO IT NOW!!!
2007-01-05 21:11:24 · answer #11 · answered by snddupree 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋