Is he watching you from above?
Does he really love?
Where is he when one dies?
Does he see the eyes of those who cry?
The world is nothing but dry.
He could be made up.
Yet, the earth revolves around the sun.
He could be made up.
Yet, my heart pumps.
I see that you love him and worship nothing but him.
Should I invite him in?
Will he guide?
Or should I hide?
Why does one die?
Is he already within me?
Do I just need to look in the mirror?
He keeps you sane.
But, why is the world insane?
Who is he?
Why will he care?
One day he will give me hope.
Why? I don’t know nope.
2007-01-05 12:36:28 · 7 answers · asked by Vee 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
it really good but if you change the last stanza so the last line is different it would make it better than it already is good luck and have a happy(sorta late)new year
2007-01-05 12:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by Rawr.FearMe. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. I really, really like it, no love it!!
The choice of words you use form a clear picture in my mind, and the whole thing has a real, true, and deep meaning to it. If I were you, I would keep writing! Don't stop now, you are great!
2007-01-05 20:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by BO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good, but the last line is cheesy and doesn't really make sense.
Maybe try this for the last part:
Who is he?
Why does he care?
One day he will give me hope.
And until then, I'll just have to cope.
2007-01-05 20:45:41 · answer #3 · answered by kiera00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
David Hume suggested that metaphysical writing, such as your poem, should be cast into a fire.
I wish he was still alive, so he could.
2007-01-05 20:41:54 · answer #4 · answered by Dreaux~ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it is very good. If you want to read others like it go to:
www.ghettosoul.com
2007-01-05 20:41:11 · answer #5 · answered by Portia P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
change the last line,that made it dopy
2007-01-05 20:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask God and he will answer you
2007-01-06 10:06:50 · answer #7 · answered by cherry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋