What to do when a mother chooses a man over her kids?

Question

Question for all of you, looking for your input:

What would you do if your mother choose a man and stuck by his side over her own kids? Even if he threatens the kids...what would u do?

Ive written her off for a week now but feel so guilty. But she let her boyfriend THREATEN me and didnt stop him. How awful is that? Right in front of her and now shes making me out to be the bad guy...

This all started when i caught them lying to me and they freaked out being caught in a lie and then he threatens me!!! What would you do? Thankyou

im 22 and live away from home since 18. i havent lived with her since i was 6 when she ran away with this man. i always respected the both of them, ect. but when they lie together and i caught them lying they freaked out and then he started threatening me with harm and calling me ugly names. my boyfriend wanted to kick his butt, but i wouldnt let him because my little brother whos 13 is living with them. i didnt want him to see my boyfriend kick his dads butt. anyway i feel bad for my brother and guilty in the same way cause its my mother. but how can a woman choose a man over her own child? her own flesh and blood!!!

and being the person i am all i told her was that im done. i finally woke up and realized that for the last 16 years shes choosen this man over all 3 of her kids. im 22 now and finally realized it. how devastating..being the person i am all i said was God help your souls. I afraid for my 13 year old brother that lives with her and her boyfriend, which is his father...i just hope he doesnt turn out like him. i just feel guilty about it, but what more can i do? you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink!!

and he is abusive. when my 13 year old brother was a new born i watched him throw a wallet at him in the face and other things, i protected him then when i was about 7, then i lived with my stepfather-who is more like a father to me than anyone...he is my father!!! i know when i would visit my mom sometimes she had bruises and what not and it wasnt till i was 16 that i realized what was going on, she wont listen to me, wont leave him, and i suspect he still hits her. he controls her too. i try to help, ive called the cops in the past, but nothing. i fear for my little brother seeing this. hes a good kid, even walks his butt to church every sunday. but my mom, i feel like i cant help her anymore. how many years of trying to help someone do you take? and then they still choose a man over her own flesh and blood!!! what should i do???

Answer 1

Your mom needs help. The person I am more worried about is your 13 year old brother who is see things and going through things he should not have to. I think you should ask him to live with you. Let your mom do her thing, but don't let her drag your little brother drown with her. Show your mom what a true women is. You can take them to court.

Good luck I hope everything works out for you and your little brother.

Answer 2

Well, if you are no longer living in your mothers home and their are no other children below the age of 18, then what your mother and her boyfriend do is absolutely their business and no one else's. You didn't say HOW he threatened you, that makes a big difference, for example if he threatened to call the cops on you, then big deal, but if he threatned to hurt you thats something totally differenent. Also, if u are an adult and no longer live with your mother then you truly should have no say in her relationships and who or what she chooses to do. You should not cut your mother off, she's the only one you have and if she has always been there for you to raise you and feed you then I can think of no reason to which why you should cut her off. Let her live her life and be happy and you do the same.If you must be around her boyfriend think of your mothers happiness and how much that must mean to you and try to be amicable.

Answer 3

Well first off its very disrespectful and hurtful for a mother to be unappricative of her kids but you cant choose peoples behavior. I strongly suggest that you talk to her alone about it or bring him in as well and say
"Were all adults here and we should be able to talk about this without any hurt feelings now I feel disrespected by you mom for letting him threaten me with your viewing and for you mr._______ for threating me its a very untypical situation. Now if he starts using actions then you need to call the cops. If your a kid then you need to steer clear ask to stay with your father if hes better and I assume he is and/or talk to your mom and state that either he leaves or get his act together (in a nice way of course) Or that you need to live with your father or some other relatives and state and tell them the situation your living in and think that if hes threatning you then he could be just as likely to do something if all else fails get help.
Hope I helped,
Brianna

Answer 4

She is very selfish and is thinks only of herself. Any kind of good mother would not do anything that hurt or jeopardize her kids happiness and welfare.

She would take her kids side and consider their feelings.

The kids will be her family because they are an extension of her herself; that will never change no matter which man comes and goes in her life!! Talk to mother and express your feelings,hopefully she will understand .

In order for you to heal the pains of resentment and loyalty you must learn to forgive both of them;the moment you forgive them they will no longer have power over you in your thoughts.

If this issue cannot solved amicably, I suggest some professional help.

Answer 5

Get some help first and foremost. If he threatned to harm you in anyway, hes just a stones throw away from actually harming you. Call the police, and if youre underage, contace child protective services. Your mother needs to get her priorities straight. If a piece of "meat" is more important to her than her own flesh and blood, she doesnt deserve to be your mother.

Answer 6

my mother picked my dad over us 6 kids our entire lives. no matter what happened, she never took up for us. and he was wrong --on so many levels.
there is nothing you can do, but maybe get some counseling so that YOU can move on and live a better more rewarding life. Your step-brother is 13, he is either like him or knows the difference(and like you, he's just waiting to escape)

Answer 7

Well...this happened to me when I was younger...it caused a huge difference in our relationship..the problem was bigger with my stepfather too..if you get my drift...I moved in with my father at the time and didnt speak to her for long periods of time..and when we did it wasnt anywhere near like we used to talk..eventually she saw the light..with other things happening...but we still have several very loud fights about her not taking my side....the issue is still there and I'm 35 now....but like I said we hashed it out and you cant change the past so there really wasnt much else to do about it...you just kinda move on...when you can...and thats it...sometimes they will apologize and sometimes you may never get an apology...but if you want that relationship...you just kinda let things go...if you can...BUT...you have to remember...it takes time...definetly for you...and it will take time for her...she will prolly go through some guilt because she didnt take your side...there are different reasons she prolly took his side....and thats something she will have to deal with and something you may never understand or forgive her for completly...just be prepared for that....Best of luck to you and just try to be strong.... ~Aradia~

Answer 8

Sorry to say this, but she is a typical example of someone who should never have been allowed to breed. I don't know how old you are, but if this is an option, move out and leave her to worship the dick that is obviously the most important thing in her life.

Answer 9

your friend must be alot of worry for you, for her to pick her bf over her kids and friend is out of line...shes can do what she wants with her life, as long as the kids are safe and well...plz becareful around him.
PS..keep an eye on the children, lucky they have a good aunty.