What started off as a work friendly relationship turned into a close frienship but crossed into flirting .I went through a terrible break up and my fellow male co-worker who is married no kids though was there for me.He had problems with his new wife not working , wanting kids automatically, refusing to make any effort to cook or clean and spending money without thought.I offered suggestions and that how the friendship got started.After a trip for work to Bremuda (we work for an insurance company) he started flirting with me and that has lead to close hugging.Plus he patted my butt i am not sure if that was on purpose though.I am so confused this has been going on for 2 1/2 years?
2007-01-05 12:31:44 · 18 answers · asked by Bridget F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please nor rude comments i think i have feeling for this man but i dont want to be the cause of his divorce.I feel bad that they are fighting so much but i dont know how to break thing off the overly friendly relationship we have?
2007-01-05 12:35:47 · update #1
I have met his wife she is a complete snob but that does not mean i want to hurt her!
2007-01-05 12:39:40 · update #2
Yes, it IS an emotional affair and your danger flags should be going off now. He is VERY open for an affair. Don't believe all that he says about his wife. He is playing on your emotions. This will take very little prodding to become sexual. It's certainly moving in that direction steadily. Be aware, though, if it has been going on for 2 1/2 years, that there has probably been someone else in that time period, or else he would have pushed this faster. That is par for the course.
2007-01-05 12:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate to your circumstances. I am married and not very happy with my husband. He is constantly making rude comments to me about how selfish I am and how all i care about is myself. I have a co-worker that is also married and goes out of his way to always have something to say to me, a joke, or something to do with my son as he is my son's teacher. It feels good when someone pays attention to you and makes you feel special. If he does not have any kids and nothing holding him back except his wife, I think you are looking at an affair waiting to happen. The question is are you prepared to be the "other woman"...there are so many ways this could play out and if he works with you it never bodes well for the female. Make sure you are prepared for all repercussions of any decisions you make. The angry wife, the comments from other female co-workers, your boss, etc, etc, etc You must really give this some thought and if you like what you decide and want this man, then ask him upfront. If he walks away from you then he has done you a huge favour.
2007-01-05 12:51:39 · answer #2 · answered by Meesh 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You met his wife and you saw what you wanted to see lets not kid our self here.Stop it and no one will get hurt but keep it going and you will be the one sitting at home with a broken heart.Remember this man married her because he loves her. My husband had a friend at work it started just like the two of you,one thing lead to another and before I knew anything was going on my husband moved into his own apartment for two and half years.I knew nothing about this other woman so my husband was seeing her and still seeing me at the same time.He did come back home to me and the other woman got her heart broke and got fired on top of that.The only reason I did find out was do to the other woman she planted underwear inside my husbands shirt and a card she wrote to my husband.She blamed me for the two of them not working out.She couldn't face the fact that my husband loved me all along and if not for her flirting with a married man none of this would of happened in the first place.Read up on it if you don't believe me.nine out of ten men always goes back with the wife and forgets all about the other woman.
2007-01-05 13:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An emotional affair is defined as expressing thoughts, ideas, deep feelings, emotions, or sharing experiences normally reserved for spouse with another person or persons. An emotional affairs differs from a physical affair in that it is not initiated for simple sex. Emotional affairs are often initiated when one spouse is not receiving emotional support from the other spouse and seek fulfillment from another person. Emotional affairs are often viewed as being as devastating to a relationship as an affair that involves only sex. However, some argue that emotional affairs are more devastating to relationships because even though many relationships can survive when one party is not being sexually fulfilled, most cannot survive when one of the parties are not having their emotional needs met.
So basically it is not important whether it leads to sex it is very damaging no matter what.
2007-01-05 12:49:53 · answer #4 · answered by bibus75 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
has nothing to do with her shortcoming's, or that she is a snob, she is still his wife, and no i don't think u want to hurt her. so distance yourself from him, affairs begin with an emotional connection, men would tell u anything to justify their own wrongs. just because he is not getting what he wants from the marriage, doesn't mean he has the right to hurt her, and get emotionally involved with someone else. if he cheats with u he will cheat on u if u were the wife one day.
2007-01-05 13:11:38 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are trying to fool yourself a bit. All affairs are emotional. And all affairs are physical. Hugging and butt touching (it's never unintentional) are the beginnings. What is it that you find yourself confused about? What you've outlined sounds very much like a plot for adultery.
2007-01-05 12:59:30 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you met his wife? Perhaps if it is only harmless flirting at work you can all get together. I have found that when someone has a wandering eye that they sometimes exaggerate things about their significant other. Maybe even make up a few stories for sympathy. If you get together you will be able to judge for yourself just what is going on.
2007-01-05 12:38:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, so your co-worker is cheating on his wife, and all this rot about her not cooking or cleaning is supposed to be some sort of justification for his cheating? Is this what I'm hearing? I cannot even begin to imagine what would make you be a part to this tacky and disgusting scenario for two and a half years. Where's your pride?
2007-01-05 12:36:07 · answer #8 · answered by Liz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Back away before you ruin his marriage!!
Most men lie about what really happens at home----he may be perfectly happy with wifey and looking for a piece on the side---DO NOT be that piece!
How would you feel if YOU were the wife, and it was YOUR man doing this?????
2007-01-05 12:36:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is DEFINITELY an affair! Touching your butt??? (on purpose???? We both KNOW it was on purpose!)Close hugs???? You are about one nanosecond from having a full-out, physical affair.....with a married man......Is THAT what you want? If not, you had better distance yourself from this man, immediately! The first time he comes to work, after a big fight with her.........."let the party begin!"
2007-01-05 12:40:01 · answer #10 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋