my bf(soon to be husband) of 5yrs and i were watching tv when the subject can up on a dads/childs love vs. husband/wife love.i asked my bf if he loved me equal to his child(from his 1st marrage) he looked right at me and said no way i love my child more than anyone and that would never change.he told me i would not understand because i don't have any kids.don't get me wrong i don't expect him to love me more but i allways thought you loved your child and wife equal am i wrong in this thought?would he feel different if i was his child mom?
2007-01-05 12:31:18 · 29 answers · asked by shannonvincent098 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's right. The love for a child is and should be more intense, stronger.
2007-01-05 12:32:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, but he's right. You haven't had a child yet, when you do you'll understand. It isn't as cut and dried as you put it, it's a very complicated thing. But some people don't subscribe to that theory and somewhere down the track, it comes back and bites them on the a$$. The partner they gave up all for, leaves them and then they decide their children are important, many times the kids say nick off. Remember, a child doesn't ask to be born so when one is brought into the world, parents should put that child first and foremost (within reason) until such an age they can fend for themselves
2007-01-05 12:38:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a parent, but any parent I have ever heard talk about love for a spouse versus love for a child has always said that you don't love ANYONE as much as your own child. Also, it's an entirely different type of love altogether. I think when you and he are married and have children (if you decide to) you will probably know exactly what he meant and feel the same way. It doesn't mean he loves you any less than he should.
2007-01-05 12:36:01 · answer #3 · answered by CompGeek1228 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
well i don't think u should have asked that question if you were not prepared to hear the answer. the truth is your children will always be your children and bf\gf or even a spouse can be there one moment and gone the next . and at least he was honest with you and while it is true that the love for a child or children in my case is different then the love you experience for a mate ,he still answered correctly good luck girl.
2007-01-05 16:07:09 · answer #4 · answered by rachel m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry...the love that exists between a parent and child cannot even be touched by romantic love. I love my husband dearly, but not anywhere near as much as my daughter. I'm pretty sure this is the way every parent feels. Don't take it personally, that's just the way it goes. That's why I never dated anyone who already had a child/children. I couldn't take not being #1...so I didn't put myself in that position. Now that I share my love for my daughter with her father...it's different, and completely tolerable.
2007-01-05 12:36:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
It probably hurt to hear that and this is annoying but you will understand moreso once you have kids of your own. You will feel love for your bf or husband but the love for your child is something that can never be topped. I love my husband more than anything but I would sacrifice everything for my daughter. It's a different love than the love you feel for your bf or husband....
2007-01-05 13:06:20 · answer #6 · answered by kristina807 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's only natural he loves his child more than anyone and thats actually a good thing.
If he ever decideds to have children with you, you'll know he has no issues loving his children and treating them correctly. Thats a plus for you.
Now I know your hurt and are thinking does this mean if I put him in my life for a life long commentiment will he love me and cherish me as much as his child?
The best thing for you to do is to sit and think and then call him up and say I want you to know that I love you and that I respect the love for your child but I'm wondering do you love me equal to your child or less than your child? Now remember thats offensive because that's his child and think of his feelings. Now think about this it's his child his creation jus think.
Hope I helped,
Brianna
2007-01-05 12:37:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know that comment had to hurt, but I see where he is coming from. That child is an extension of him and it's something that
you won't understand until it happens to you. I never will forget
the feeling that came over me the moment I looked at my daughter. You will do absolutely anything for them and that love
just grows more through the years.
I believe that there are different types love and that doesn't mean that you love someone less but just differently. You and your bf need to talk this over because the way he told you this hurt you, but please don't let this undermine what's between the two of you.
If he says he loves you.....then trust him.
Good luck.
2007-01-05 12:44:37 · answer #8 · answered by Edisto 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My opinion is that you have a good man there. Any man that loves his child over anyone else is a keeper. Too many men walk away from their children because the "love" a woman. Don't be hurt by what he said, look at him with respect and admiration.
And yes, my kids come before my husband. People come and go in life, but your kids are forever.
2007-01-05 12:34:33 · answer #9 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
It's a different kind of love and one should not go around making comparisons. The love of your child is very strong. So can be the love of your mate but it'll probably develop in time rather than the instant rush of love you feel for your offspring.
2007-01-05 12:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's right on the money. You won't know the difference until you have a child of your own. Comparing the love you feel for your own child to the love you feel for a boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever is like comparing a tidal wave to a drop of water.
2007-01-05 12:33:45 · answer #11 · answered by Liz 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋