please if any of you could give me some sound advice. im a 23 yr old muslim girl, and ive had my nikah, that is i AM married but i havent moved in with my husband.he 2 is a muslim & lives in london whereas i live in pakistan. he was here fr a few months &we got to know each other in every respect.initially when we got engaged around may'06 things were gr8 bw us.right after we got married,things have gotten really bad.its like we're 2 diff people.specially him.hes changed.we have difficulty getting our thoughts across to each other,he doesnt even tolk to me fr long on skype.incase ure wondering, no im the only woman in his life,he says he loves me, wants to marry me as in move in,wants to spend the rest of his life with me,yet i feel he doesnt mean it becus he doesnt do anything to show that he really does. we'v bin strugling to make our relationshp work fr the past 5 months, but in vain :( both of us do want to be with each other but..things dont seem to fall in place. help..
2007-01-05 12:10:08 · 14 answers · asked by Aphrodyte`` 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am a teacher of international students. Some of my students have arranged marriages and they tell me that love grows over time. This may be the case with you. YOu are young and probably trying too hard. Just let things be as nature allows them to happen. HOpefully you will find love with your husband grows over the years. If you have a problem with the other women, then that needs to be looked at through your value system because your husband may be set in his ways.
2007-01-05 12:13:59 · answer #1 · answered by tiafromtijuana 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's difficult to answer this question as I have no idea what the norms and expectations are of you in your culture. In the US (where I live) things are different in this respect, you don't usually go and marry the first person you get to know; normally, by the time you meet your future spouse, you've got some relationship experience under your belt. Also, it is normal to feel that you have certain requirements for your marriage - such as respect, communication, mutual support - and to decline marrying someone who cannot provide these things for you. Not all people will be compatible with you in marriage. There's nothing wrong in looking for a person who IS compatible, and treats you respectfully - even if you make some mistakes along the way.
2007-01-05 12:22:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know or understand the Muslim tradition/religion but wouldn't you be scorned or disowned if you were to leave/divorce your husband? Does not living with your husband make a difference in your culture? I hope someone with your cultural background can help you with your problem. What is the worse that can happen to you if you don't live with your husband?? Is there anyway you can join your husband in London and find out what being married and living together is all about?
2007-01-05 12:22:54 · answer #3 · answered by justme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi hun, me and my husband are muslim....
im trying to help u but i cant understand really..if u had mutah marriage, then its temporary and u dont neccesarily have to live together, and then it sort of expires or u can renew it or get really married from the government...if u guys got really married and have a certificate then he shud live with u. Just talk to him or go for counselling and if it is mutah marriage u can say its over and then its finished and u can both move on...may Allah bles su both and find a way to make u happy!
2007-01-05 12:18:18 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ YaHabibeDisney ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 23 but behaving like a teenager, He seems to be a mamma's boy, behaving very immature, how old is he? 15? Give him an ultimatum, tell him if he cant make a decision to marry you within 6months, you will walk.
2007-01-05 12:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by tewarienormy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorrry, I can't really help. I don't know anything about the muslim religion. But I would say plan on moving in with him and see what his reactions are. If they are positive (and you have the money) move in together. Sorry, I'm not quite Dr. Phil.
2007-01-05 12:15:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both Muslims isn't there a rule that says you do not have to show feelings you should know this and you are already married.
2007-01-05 12:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move to London and live with him and then see how it goes. Do not let him abuse you in any way. It is a two way relationship and both of you have to work at it.
2007-01-05 12:15:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nikah as in temporary marriage as in fitnah? This guy sounds like a loser, forget about him.
2007-01-05 12:12:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mother. She should know that trust between partners is vital for marriage, and would not want you to live your live unhappily, or worse. Does your mother know you're not the only woman in his life? Talk to her, talk to your imam, talk to someone. They can give you advice, as they probably know him.
2007-01-05 12:14:30 · answer #10 · answered by halie_blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋