Those who have pre-teens, please help. How long are you willing to leave your 11 year old child home alone?

Question

It seems my next door neighbor is leaving her daughter home alone frequently, and today she was left home "sick" all day 8am to almost 6pm. I think she's to young to go that long unsupervised (especially when she is calling me scared and hungry because her mom tells her not to bug her unless there's an emergency) Am I overly protective because I don't think she's ready for that kind of responsiblity?

Answer 1

Not all day.Not ever.Maybe you could offer to babysit her while she is sick rather than the child be left alone all day.Your neighbour is probably too scared or embarassed to ask for help.An 11 year old can get scared to be left by herself all day.She may not be able to afford a babysitter.The mother must have given the girl your number otherwise she would not trust you.Maybe make the first approach.

Answer 2

I can't believe parents would leave there child alone for that long. And if you have to leave at least let your child call you when they need you. A parent need to make arrangements for a child. If you can't miss work. You need to go home and take your lunch and call every hour to see if every thing is OK. Even have friends, family or a neighbor come over and check on the child. Of course limit who comes over and have a secret password. I do think that is to young to be home alone. That is sad.

Answer 3

Have you talked to your neighbor about this ...just seeing if she even knows she's called u for help may wake her up a little. Maybe she needs a little more help than she realizes or is too embarrassed/proud to ask. Her daughter may be aware that she may get in her mom in trouble so she asks you instead. All day is too long but...being a working mom is also tough and last minute care is tougher yet. Rather than reporting her, maybe you can offer some help here and there or see if other neighbors can too?

Answer 4

An 11 year old should never be left home alone because they could panic in the event of an emergency or try to put an out of control fire out by themselves. Or open the door to strangers... not a good idea.

Answer 5

My mom started letting me and my brothers stay home by ourselves at age 12, maybe for like a half-hour when we were 11, but she never left us alone when were sick. No, I don't think you are at all over protective. You should talk to your neighbor. The fact that your neighbor's daughter is calling you should be evidence enough that she is not mature enough to stay at home alone.

Answer 6

That is the most lame excuse for parenting I have ever SEEN! OMG! That is her kid, and it seems that she doesn't care to hear from her if she's sick unless there's a real problem.

Well, there IS a real problem. An eleven-year old doesn't need to be left at home for more than three hours. PERIOD. A SICK eleven year old does not need to be left at home alone at all. My eldest is eight, and I could not imagine leaving him home alone for more than a couple of hours three years from now.

You need to tell that sorry excuse for a mother to take off of work, just like everybody else who has kids, and take care of her daughter.

Answer 7

Some kids can handle it and others can't. But kids will never learn responsibility until they are trusted with it. I could leave my oldest son at home alone by the time he was 9, but I worked 15 min. from home and he new if he called I would come home. By the time he was 12 he was babysitting his brothers 4 & 6 for a coulpe hours at a time. All my kids could fix themselves a peanut butter and jely sandwich by the time they were 5. She may just have you pegged as a soft touch.

Answer 8

I think by law kids can't be left alone until they are12, but is really sad the she has to stay home alone when she is sick, talk to the mother, maybe she is trying to hold down a job while taking care of kids(single mom?) maybe you can help her out, if she is just being irresponsibly than take action.

Answer 9

Ok I hav a pre-teen son too who is 11 years old. When i have to do shopping or go to the mall i leave him there alone. But i do not when he is sick or hurt. i would try to get some help and only leave ur son alone if they r responsible and rnt in any condition.
Your Welcome,

Joe Mater

Answer 10

Not that long. The mother needs to be made aware that she is calling you and risking have CPS involved in her life. If the school truant officer checked on the girl, her Mom would be called by CPS and action would be taken. We won't mention the obvious predator problems she could end up dealing with.