I have a wonderful husband. He is good to me and our children. He respects me and has shown me what it means to really be a good person. In the past there had always been a woman here and there calling the house and trying to get his attention. When it came to me, I was always treated with respect and loving kindness, and if I answered his phone when a woman called he would let me handle it however I wanted to. When I asked why they would call he claimed not to know. I chalked it all up thinking they were delusional. Years later we got married and still he is home on time answers all my calls, great provider , I truly want for nothing. Last year he embarked on a relationship with a woman at work. They mostly talked on the phone and indulged in fantasies together. They had a early dinner once and steamy episode in the car. I found out and I confronted him he stopped talking to her and she quit her job. I know he is remorseful and he has done all that I have asked. How do I move on?
2007-01-05 11:36:22 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Read your question again. He sounds like a great guy, except for that slip-up. You're going to have to talk to him to find out why he did it. This is a no-freak-out conversation. Be logical and objective. If you're having trouble holding it together because of something he did, you're going to have to deal with it together. Explain your situation and let him explain what happened and why. Then you can figure out how to put it behind you as a couple and move on.
2007-01-05 11:45:33 · answer #1 · answered by KD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't any way you can get back to where you wee. It's a fact that he cheated and, without a good deal of work and therapy, he's very, very likely to cheat again. Why would I say such a thing? The very best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. And do you still think those women who called in the past were delusional?
I would suggest that you think about counseling with him and that you ease back into trusting him by verifying his behavior very regularly.
2007-01-05 11:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first step you need to take toward "moving on", is by "moving out"! Numerous women calling the house.....steamy episodes in cars....... doesn't know WHY they called....But he is a "wonderful husband".....maybe that's why I got divorced......I guess I wasn't a "wonderful husband" because I never cheated on my wife. You need to take off the glasses, and look through eyes of reality.... He is NOT a wonderful husband...he's a CHEATER! I'm not being mean, I honestly think you deserve better than this!~
2007-01-05 11:55:53 · answer #3 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling, counseling, counseling! It'll open up the lines of communication and see if there are any issues in your relationship that behavior needs to be changed. If you truly want this, go to counseling and do this together! Be honest with yourself, anything left unsaid will not solve the problem. I'm glad you are considering working on your marriage rather than divorce. Kudos to you! Renew your vows after your lives are back on track. :)
2007-01-05 11:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really is such a wonderful husband who loves and respects you, why be involved with other women ?
It sounds as though it's not the first time he's commited adultery.
Also sounds as though you're willing to turn a blind eye to keep your "happily every after" picture going...
Like all cases of cheating, your husband has to prove to you that you can trust him again...
2007-01-05 16:08:12 · answer #5 · answered by midnight_lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you have any shame in saying that oh I forgive him for getting busy with the other lady in the car,geezzzzzzzzzzzzz, oh hes a good man,kind,honest i say thats the biggest bunch of crap I've ever seen in My life! I can't even start to think of what i woulda done had it been me and I had found out, he does NOT love you with all his heart, he cheated! what part of that do you not understand, or i'll put it this way, lets just say when he was in that car doing god knows what with her, he came back and gave you somthing? would you then still say oh hes a good man? good luck is all I can say,your his victem for life
2007-01-05 11:43:54 · answer #6 · answered by rpoker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is so wonderful, then what are you NOT doing for him to seek attention elsewhere?
Divorce him. Adultery is not acceptable. So what if he's home, a great provider la la la? You can go out and make money for yourself? Why let him walk over you with women after women after women?
2007-01-05 11:40:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of that is confusing to enable it go so easily because of the fact which you enjoyed him a lot and searching out that he's cheated on you with this different lady for 2 years throughout some time of marriage, that is comprehensible to work out which you will not purely enable this choose for now. he's lost all your have faith and he's attempting to benefit it lower back. i'll make it easier to be attentive to that in spite of in case you tried, you're actually not likely to have faith him each and each of how such as you probably did until now, it will never assemble to that factor ever lower back. he's lost your have faith thoroughly and that i've got self assurance you're having a confusing time not trusting him because of the fact your emotions are harm and your concepts isn't comfortable understanding that he's left a extensive scar on your element of love for him. it is barely going to take time to make amends and glue lower back the broken products. that is going to take artwork, yet whilst he extremely is sorry, then forgive him and supply him a 2d risk at redemption on your love. i don't advantage, besides the undeniable fact that, that he became hiding it for goodbye and you occurred to be the single to confirm and look into it and confront him approximately it. That became fairly selfish, conceited, untrustworthy, and cowardly for him to cover it or perhaps lust after some valueless lady. i'm maximum sympathetic on your subject. All i will say is, that is going to be confusing to overcome it besides the undeniable fact that that is going to take place in case you the two artwork on it mutually and not in any respect enable it take place lower back (asserting this to him). additionally, try this on your loved ones, your babies's sakes. they are going to fairly savour which you the two attempt to artwork the relationship mutually.
2016-12-15 16:43:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, you're really calm. I would of grrrrrr, whip some rump. Marriage counseling
2007-01-05 11:40:49 · answer #9 · answered by Monet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋