A young girl meets a guy at eighteen. The guy is about twenty-eight, semi-established, intelligent. The girl is highly intelligent, but severely sheltered. She's very well read, but has very limited knowledge of life. She's in college and sort of "soul searching." To an extent she knew who she was and exactly where she wanted to go, but when she met him, everything changed. He decided that her progress was too slow for him and took it upon himself to revamp her life completely. Now, he's managing her parents and their funds, telling her parents that she's "mooching" off of them, depricates her for not being where he is "intellectually" or finacially, won't accept her help because he'll be "crippling" her, but expects her to accept his, while accusing her of "taking." When they met she had a great job and contributed vastly (though he'll never admit it), but now she isn't working and is focusing on school. He isn't a bad guy and he loves her alot, but he doesn't appreciate her.
2007-01-05 11:01:09 · 11 answers · asked by evelynn waugh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are many other dynamics to this scenario as well. The guy is insufferably arrogant and bored. She's his first steady relationship, and he's her first everything. He sees himself as this creature of supreme virtuosity that no one can touch and wants nothing less from his mate, only, he doubts that such a person can achieve such a level without his coercive hand. She wants to live; experience life, make her own mistakes. He feels he doesn't have time for any more mistakes. He's made his and she'd "slow him down" if she made her own. They've spoke seriously of marriage on several occasions and she fears sabotaging all that they've both invested. She doesn't want to go through the whole dating cycle again, but she cannot take his negativity. I think the relationship is unhealthy but understandable from both ends.
2007-01-05 11:09:46 · update #1
Wow, sounds like she's got a good friend in you worrying about her. She sounds like she hooked up with an insecure control freak, and they like them young and inexperienced because, (as she is obvioulsy doing) she is not fighting back for herself. How can she? She has nothing to judge it against, no previous serious relationships or life experiences.
Talk to her honestly, tell her your concerns. She not act on it but at least you tried.
2007-01-05 11:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by allissahottie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that's life and how things go. What can you do about it? He's got her in school...so that can't be too bad. She's a big girl and will have to make up her mind eventually. Maybe this guy thinks he is doing a good thing for the family...and maybe he is...so what if he's higher class...maybe in the end they will all fair better for it.
In any case, not much you can do about it....it's their business and so long as she is willing to go along with it, you will just be considered a nosy body if you butt in. Not to be mean but you know it's true! :~)
2007-01-05 11:10:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not much you can say, it's her life and she's chosen this path for whatever reason.
But for myself I'll tell you that I'm worried about her because she hasn't gotten this guy out of her life. He sounds like the worst kind of opportunist and the fact that she claims to love him tells me that she is happy to be a doormat. That may change later, but that's the way it is right now.
Give her love and support and encouragement and with great subtlety you might suggest that there's more out there than being dependent on a loser.
FP
2007-01-05 11:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES this guy is definitely a control freak. I honestly can not understand why her parents would listen to him. They know the kind of person she used to be. They should be advising her to dump his controlling butt. Surely they know the fact that he constantly puts her down it is not a healthy relationship. If it was my daughter there is no way in hell that l would want her to be with someone like him. He obviously gets a buzz out of her misery. Very unhealthy relationship in my eyes.
2007-01-05 11:16:11 · answer #4 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question seems basic yet you exaggerated it too a lot. right this is why:: a million. own income tax 2. own sources tax 3. Inheritance tax 4. sales tax (gas, eating place, hotel, and so on., are varieties of sales taxes) it is the reason why i in my opinion think of an easy nationwide sales tax to interchange all those redundant taxes may be extra effective understood by technique of all.
2016-12-15 16:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy is a control freak and the girl needs so break offthe relationship.
2007-01-05 11:18:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a control freak and she's in big trouble. He is a bad guy, and what he loves is the pleasure he gets out of putting her down. this is sick!
2007-01-05 11:03:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with lucee the guy is out of his mind with the control he has over her and her family tell her to get out now before its to late.
2007-01-05 11:06:51 · answer #8 · answered by chugginmonkey30 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl is fooling herself. This guy is trying to control her, and brow beat her. This girl better dump this guy fast, because he does not love her.
2007-01-05 11:09:31 · answer #9 · answered by Foxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Controlling jerk. I agree with above!
2007-01-05 11:05:24 · answer #10 · answered by pinkchicchild 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋