Letting my baby "Cry it Out"?

Question

My baby is 8 months old and I still rock her to sleep for her naps & at bed time. I love doing this, but everyone tells me I need to start letting her go to sleep on her own, & letting her cry it out.

It works ok for naps but at bed time or when she wakes up is another story. The problem is I am currently staying with family while my husband is in Iraq and my baby & I share a room, so when she sees me still in there she wont go to sleep.

I don't know what to do, I am so tired now because I sit in the living room for several hours throughout the night letting her cry it out.

HELP! what should I do?

Answer 1

Why let her cry it out for so many hours? Isn't that stressful on both you and the baby? Honestly, don't listen to those who think letting a baby cry is the only way to go. Trust your instincts, and go pick her up. You will both get more sleep if you stick to your bedtime rocking routine. I have never let either of my kids, 18 months and 7 months "cry it out" and they are able to fall asleep on their own just fine. It's all in your parenting techiniques. Try rubbing and patting her back if you don't want to rock.

Answer 2

If you were in a different living situation (separate rooms), then I would say that at 8 months, she needs to start learning the skills to self sooth. I did the "graduated extinction" thing where you wait 10 min before going to the baby, but when you don't talk or turn any lights on...you just lay them back down pat/rub their backs and walk out. Then you wait 20 then 30 minutes and by then, they are so tired they usually fall asleep. You could try doing that, but honestly, if she can see you it's going to be VERY difficult!

I say you just keep doing what you're doing as long as it's working. When the day comes that rocking and cuddling doesn't put her to sleep anymore, THEN switch your system and try CIO. Oh, and don't listen to what people are telling you about how to handle this sleep issue...if it were so simple then there wouldn't be like 100 books about it! Good luck!

Answer 3

My husband was in Iraq the first year of my son's life. He just turned two before Christmas. I lived exactly how you do including being in the same room. You rock and cuddle with that baby as much as you can and remember you are holding part of your husband too. Those who haven't been in this situation have no clue how tough it is. If you love doing it, I wouldn't listen to anyone but your heart and what feels right.
I eventually was able to handle the "cry it out" at 12 months and it took less than 3 days and he went to sleep(through the night)by himself and it also lengthened his naptime.
I completely know how you feel and just know there are other military wives out there that lived through it too LOL.
Be strong and I hope this helps! HOOOAH!

Answer 4

A long time ago they always said let your baby cry themselves to sleep, but a few years ago I read in a baby magazine that you shouldn't let them cry for long periods of time, you could traumatize the baby, make him\her feel like you left them, make them feel insecure. You should comfort her ever so often, like every 10-15 minutes, when she's having trouble falling asleep, if that is what you want to do. If you don't mind rocking her to sleep then rock her, don't let people tell you how to raise your child, take advice but decide on your own.

Answer 5

When someone tells you to let her cry, smile, nod, and say "I'll consider that." When bed time comes, rock her to sleep. 8 months old is awfully little to let her cry on her own.

Also, she's had her little world changed as much as you have your's changed. She knows something is different with your husband being deployed. You need those cuddles as much as she does.

She will eventually fall asleep on her own. You aren't going to be rocking a 16 year old to sleep.

I hope your husband stays safe while he's deployed.

Answer 6

It sounds like people misinformed you about the cry it out method. When you let your baby cry it out they aren't screaming. You don't make them scream all night long.

Put the baby in her crib when she is drowsy but awake. (Do not do this if she is already crying)
Turn off the lights and close the door.
Wait 5 minutes....If baby is still crying go and comfort the baby. When baby is settled, lay baby back into the crib.
This time wait 10 minutes. Usually the baby will be asleep by then and it only takes a couple of nights. Soon the baby will expect it and won't even cry. (Mine waves bye-bye)

You have to be very consistent with it in order for it to work.
It is so much better than sticking her in bed with you and risking SIDS. The AAP recommends against co-sleeping. It is lazy parenting anyway.

Answer 7

She is YOUR baby. If rocking her to sleep (PARENTING her to sleep!) was working for the two of you, then keep it up! There is nothing wrong with BEING THERE for your child when she needs you. I'm sure those cuddles were very special to both of you. When she is older she will learn to fall asleep on her own. It is not something you need to force or "train" her to do by leaving her to cry. Follow your instincts. Go to her. Hold her, rock her, love on her and help her drift off peacefully.

Answer 8

It is a pain letting them "cry it out" when you have to be in the room too! Frankly I think it is totally up to you. You've got a unique situation on your hands and you have to come up with a solution that works for everyone. My husband left for Iraq when my oldest was 7 months old and when he got up at night I just took him into bed with me and a bottle. That way he didn't wake up the whole household when I was staying with family.

If you are dedicated to letting her "cry it out" at night you might want to camp on the sofa every night for a month so she gets used to putting herself back to sleep.

I know! I know! a bottle in the bed with me at night! I assure you he is now 17 years old and sleeps through the night by himself totally in the dark and has lovely teeth--no bottle mouth for him. In fact the problem is waking him up!

Good Luck and God Bless You!

Answer 9

SuperNanny Jo Frost writes about it that you can't spoil a baby . Right now she is needing your trust, and comfort. If she has noticed a change from Dad being there and not..or even feeling your sense of loss she might need your reassurance. You might even think of taping yourself one night calming them down or reading a short and Loop it...and see if that helps a bit.

Setting up a Sleeping/eating pattern might help...babies apprciate schedules more than adults. check out her book

Answer 10

letting my son "cry it out" killed me!! i had so many people in my ears telling me to do it and in some cases it worked. like i was trying to go to dinner with my inlaws and he was screaming his head off (he was only a few weeks old) and my mominlaw told me to let him cry it out before we got to the restaurant and i was a little hesitant at first because it went against everything that i had been doing for my baby up to that point. but long story short, it worked, we had a wonderful dinner at carrabas (my fav!) and got so many comments on how perfect my baby was ( he slept the whole dinner). but other times it hasn't worked out and ive had to give in, like when you're driving a few hours on the highway it sometimes is unsafe to drive and be distracted by your child screaming it out. so i feel for ya honey and i hope everything works out and best wishes for your hubby in iraq, my brotherin law just got out of the marines and back from there and had one hell of a time!