Should I be concerned and put a stop to it?

Question

My boyfriend of 2 yrs told me from the jump about his friend, Danielle. He said she was like his sister and that was it. He introduced me to her and my first impression of her was "shes ok" We became very good friends for about a year and she told me I was like a sister to her, and I felt the same way. Then about 6 months ago she stopped having anything to do with me, and I have never got an explanation why. But she still calls my boyfriend. Also last Christmas this girl that she used to live with told me that Danielle was inlove with him, but I didnt believe her because I thought she could never be such good friends with me if she loved him like that. But it really bothers me that she ignores me like she does. Now I dont know what to do about the situation. Should I let it go, because he will talk to her in front of me, he doesnt try to hide it and their conversation isnt suspect. But I dont know. Should I be concerned?

Answer 1

if you trust your bf you will drop it, just be careful

Answer 2

Personally, I would be concerned enough to try to find out the truth. I think you should make the effort to see her, even if she is resiststant. Ask her why she suddenly stopped having anything to do with you. I would tell her what I heard and ask whether there is any truth to it. There isn't an easy answer, because things could go in a few directions from here. But if you don't find out, you'll be wondering about it every time they talk on the phone or you hear her name. Depending on what you find out you may or may not choose to tell your bf. I doubt he'll give her up as a friend, but if she truly is in love with him, that friendship would make me uncomfortable. However, it does sound like your bf is being faithful, so it might be good to leave him out of it. Good luck. :)

Answer 3

I don't think it's right that she comes before you do. You have been together 2 years. It's time you question your boyfriends REAL feelings. How would he feel knowing she is in love with him? Maybe he has secretly been in love with her this whole time and waiting.

I think it's time you tell him what you know and that she isn't talking to you any more and that this whole thing is starting to make you uncomfortable.

Would you be willing to put in another 2 years and find out THEN that he has discovered he loves her too?

Maybe he doesn't feel like that at all...but there is somethign weird about that relationship and anyone getting serious with a guy needs to know that he puts his girlfriend first or it will cause major troubles in your relationship once he has committed to you.

Answer 4

You should speak with your boyfriend about your concerns. SPEAK means have a conversation, not a fight, ok. AVOID CONFRONTATIONS, ask a friend to speak to Danielle about your concerns. Regardless of your findings, DON'T FIGHT over any man.

If someone doesn't appreciate the beautiful person, you are, put that person away, because there are plenty of good men out there looking for decent girls.

I wish you the best of luck, happiness and love.

Answer 5

I am suspicious by nature so i would want to know why you don't want to hang out with me all of a sudden.. how do I go from being like your sister to nothing.But that is another story! ha

Talk to him though.. Let him know what you are thinking and what you have heard. He has a right to defend himself. But by no means can you ruin his friendship with her, if he told you from jump about her and you were ok with it before, just because she doesn't want to be your friend. But if she is in love with him she may not want to be your friend cause it might be hard for her to be around you and know she can't have him. Talk to him
SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE ONLY COMFORTABLE WITH HIM HAVING FEMALES FRIENDS IF YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH HER. YOU NEED TO ADDRESS THESE ISSUES WITH HIM DIRECTLY!

Answer 6

u can ask her why she gives u the cold shoulder. then u may tell him how u feel. the truth is your not married but if you trust him and he really do care about u he could not talk to her as much especially when your around. i say this because they where friends before you came along but out of respect he can limit his conversations with her. there is no telling that she could be that friend with benefit.

Answer 7

there may be some truth to the fact that this girl likes him. the only way your going to know is to ask her. she may be avoiding you, so you don't see how she really feels.

it sounds like your bf is clearly focused on you though. if he was doing anything wrong, he would be talking to her behind your back. it might pay to ask him again how he feels about Danielle just to be sure. whatever your gut instinct tells you is probably the truth.

Answer 8

maybe, because of her feelings for him and because she is your friend she is having a hard time facing you because she feels quilty about her feelings.
If your boyfriend doesn't see her as anything other than a sister/friend then let it go. when she gets over her feelings then she may come around and tell you why she felt the way she did.

Answer 9

Well, if you are sure that the friendship with your boyfriend is purely platonic, then don't worry about it. Be patient, the reason will surface. If her ex-roomate says that she was in love with him, then that explains her internal struggle. Just make sure that you give her the space and time to figure it out.

Answer 10

I would ask your guy to tell this friend to show you some respect its not right that she talks to him and ignores you how rude there were times when I was friends with the guy and he had a girl and I was still polite to her tell this girl to grow up already

Answer 11

Well there is allways the possiblity that she's just joking or your boyfriend is cheating on you. If you want to stay with him I whould be extremly concered if my relationship is falling apart.I whould talk to to him and see what is going on