I am currently having an affair with a married man, we met via work we were gd friends but now we are lovers.
He takes me away for fancy weekend buys me flowers and really prob spends more time with me then her these days, he has told me he has fallen in love with me and wants to leave her as he just does notlove her anymore.
He has 2 children as well so his concern is for his children im fine with that i have children myself so kids should come first he said he is going to seek legal advice but is this all just words and talk will he ever leave?
2007-01-05 10:20:43 · 31 answers · asked by kellyjane 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i say its just a fling and when you start becoming oh-too-familiar to him like his wife, then he'll move on to the next vitctim
2007-01-05 10:30:08 · answer #1 · answered by michelle a 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, I'm confused - did you not know that he was married before you started this relationship? If you did, then SHAME on you. For some reason you thought it was acceptable to begin an affair with a married man with 2 children. If you didn't know- then SHAME on him - it makes him a double liar; lying to you and lying to his family. In either case I can't imagine where a relationship like this could go. 2 options: 1 - he leaves his family for you; 2 -he stays w/his family. Either way, what's in it for you? The lack of benefit to you w/option 2 I guess is obvious. However, the lack of benefit w/option 1 might not be so clear. Are you ready to deal with the history he has with his wife? Can you handle the children of another woman? You do realize that she'll always be in the picture because of the children? I also see that you have kids - has he met them? Is he ready to deal with an immediate new family? Have you met his kids? Do you like them? Has he met yours? I see that you say that "the kids come first" - so that's why all of the questions about kids.
"Fancy weekends" and ""flowers" are one thing; a relationship that endures is another. I mean , really, does the man fart in front of you? Admit that his hair might be thinning? Ask you to evaluate the length of his nose or ear hair? Romance is great - but we all live ( i imagine) in the real world at some point. There are always consequences to our actions; if you really believe he' s the one for you you have to accept all of the consequences of what you do. Are you sure you're ready for them?
PS TO SHANNON - How's the 6 yr old he left? Did he revel in your relationship? Or was it just a "soulmate screw the world" thing so that you had no prob with encouraging a father to leave his child?
2007-01-05 11:38:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Are you sure you want this man? Keep in mind, a man who will betray his spouse AND his children by doing what he's doing with you will be looking to do the same to you some day. It's a pattern. His wife was just as special as you are at some point in his life or he'd have never married her. You'd do best to run the other direction in this case. He's a user. You'll be his victim some day.
2007-01-05 10:27:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you realize that all your fancy weekends and flowers will be over when you become the baby sitter?
He escape his responsibilities when he is with you. If the two of you get together you BECOME part of his responsibilities.
Affairs happen because people are too lazy to fix their own lives and think that problems will just go away if they change partners. Good luck and remember that sometimes the best thing that could happen is NOT getting what you want.
2007-01-05 10:45:21 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry for you narrow minded people who think married men who cheat on their wives never leave and if they do will cheat again.Im living proof that it can work my husband left his first wife and only son then six for me.He walked away with just a suitcase and a few personnel items after signing the house over to her.Maintained his son untill his eighteenth birthday.Started again with me we had our own home four beautiful children and really good relationship with my stepson.We have been married 36 years and I know for a fact that he never cheated on me once and for all of you who think I bet he cheated.Your so wrong as I lost him to cancer recentley and one of the last things hes said to me was I LOVE YOU and I always have and there has never been anyone else but you.So girls if you find yourself in this situation have a little faith all men arnt barstard and why should a man stay in a loveless marriage when he can be happy with someone else as life is too short
2007-01-05 11:36:26 · answer #5 · answered by shannon 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'd say if she would then she is extremely lonely, bored, looking for an exciting new lover, and unattracted to her husband. Her husband is probably buried to his eyeballs in work so he ignores her, got to be best friends with the TV, doesn't compliment her anymore, takes things for granted that she does for the household, put on a little weight, doesn't use that nice cologne he used to, lost that romantic way about him, never takes her out, blah blah blah.... But the other married man has one fault that yours doesn't and thats being a rat! Yes new sex is tempting but not worth it. Good luck
2016-05-23 07:08:05 · answer #6 · answered by Rita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What goes around comes back around, are you sure you want to take the path you're headed down? It's the thrill of chasing something you know ultimately you can't have, do you really think he's gonna leave his wife, he's got the best of both worlds, quickie sex with you, then loving sex in a relationship with his wife. Spend some time alone and discover what you want from a relationship. He's already showing you he can't be in a committed one.
2007-01-05 10:45:49 · answer #7 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is right out of a movie. Don't see him anymore unless he is divorced (in court). Too many guys say that but they never leave their wives because they will loose half of everything they own. Why do you want to be involve with a married man anyway. If you say kids come first. How do you think she feel? How do you think her kids feel? Don't be a home wrecker.
2007-01-05 10:26:56 · answer #8 · answered by Paul 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
one never knows how something will turn out, sometimes when we think we have it all in the bag, a cruel twist of fate enters in, and all u had hoped for gets lost. guess it would be fair to say you have no compassion for his wife, but the reasons marriages end and men leave and won't work on their marriages are because of women just like u. be careful what u believe that he is telling u, and be careful of karma, it does come to those who hurt others deliberately. we may decide what steps we take, but the lord decides the outcome of things.
2007-01-05 10:36:16 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first mistake was dating someone you work with. If it ends badly you still have to see that person.
Your second one is dating someone who is married. It will cost him to much to leave his wife. Possible alimony and child support. Not to mention legal fees. Depending on what state he lives in she is entitled to atleast half of EVERYTHING.
Your third is intruding on a marriage with children. Granted he is more wrong for breaking his vows. I like to think there is a special place in hell for people who do this.
Can you in good conscience be okay with this?
The chances are slim to none that he will ever leave his wife for you.
If he does, expect him to do the same favor to you that he did for his wife.
2007-01-05 11:16:22 · answer #10 · answered by AngelWings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may leave his wife but know that he chances of cheating on you are great. If he cheated on his wife and kids (yes the kids too) then he will do the same to you. Most relationships that starts out with infidelity normally doesn't last. So prepare yourself. Good Luck
2007-01-05 10:59:09 · answer #11 · answered by Who me? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋