Abortion or keep the baby? PRO CHOICE PEOPLE ONLY PLEASE?

Question

I'm 14 may be pregnant. I have an over the top step mother.(Read other questions) And a boyfriend. He says it is up to me wether or not we keep the baby. He is 16 emancipated and lives alone. My ignorant parents despise him my mothers in France. HELP!! Should we keep the baby and me live with him?

I asked for pro choice people. I do not believe a fetus is a child. So I have an option for abortion. I do not want to be attacked by pro-life people who act as if I do not have another CHOICE. Abortion is not murder. A fetus is not yet a infant.

I asked for pro choice people. I do not believe a fetus is a child. So I have an option for abortion. I do not want to be attacked by pro-life people who act as if I do not have another CHOICE. Abortion is not murder. A fetus is not yet a infant.

popeye hunny I breed betta's for PETS. I never said I was a professional breeder. Go get your facts straight sweetheart.

and you need to stop lyin popeye.

I SAID I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR 5 YEARS NOT THAT I SLEPT WITH HIM 5 YEARS AGO!!!

and you need to stop lyin popeye.

I SAID I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR 5 YEARS NOT THAT I SLEPT WITH HIM 5 YEARS AGO!!!

and you need to stop lyin popeye.

I SAID I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR 5 YEARS NOT THAT I SLEPT WITH HIM 5 YEARS AGO!!!

and you need to stop lyin popeye.

I SAID I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR 5 YEARS NOT THAT I SLEPT WITH HIM 5 YEARS AGO!!!

and you need to stop lyin popeye.

I SAID I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR 5 YEARS NOT THAT I SLEPT WITH HIM 5 YEARS AGO!!!

Answer 1

You are the one person who knows your situation best, so you are the one person who can best answer the question. Still, I can offer some things for you to think about.

Babies are expensive and a lot of work.... but it's VERY rewarding and there is help out there (government assistance, especially for students!). This is not a question of whether you CAN handle it, but whether or not you WANT to. You CAN handle a baby and you CAN be a great mother and give your child all the love and support you didn't get.

You don't know for sure if you are pregnant, so go to your local health department. They do pregnancy tests for free and they are very reliable. You can get the ones from the store for about $5 for a single, no name brand kind.

Abortion is something you REALLY have to think long and hard about before doing it. A friend of mine had one at 15 and she always regretted it, especially after she got married. Some people make the decision and never look back, others do it and they are never the same. You need to be SURE of what you want before you make this kind of decision.

Adoption is also a possibility. There are thousands of couples in the U.S. looking desperately for children, and most would rather adopt a newborn than an older child. If you don't want the baby, you can find him/her a wonderful home with a couple who have been searching for a child.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like you've made up your mind already. You feel it would be a poor situation for not only yourself, but a child aswell. I dont know how your body is, but if a doctor says your body can handle a pregnancy i suggest you adopt it out. If not then an abortion is the way to go. I do suggest you read everything and anything on abortion and adoption before you go through with anything, so you dont see something later in life, and wish you knew that then. I had my first child when I was 17 and found even with great pre pregnancy health I had a hard time, and also it was very hard finacially, even having a boyfriend at the time that was 22 and set up for the most part. We are fine now, and are married and Have our second child on the way, but it really depends on what you want to do. I think you will find that you will not want to have this child in your care, and I think it may be better that way. Just sit and think, and do what you want. Kids are fun, but I cant do anything anymore without having a child strapped to my hip, with the accesories of childhood along with her, and with a second, it will be even harder. but I have devoted my time and energy to having and rasing my children. I know for the next few years I am stuck as a mother, and cant go out to the mall with my friends alone, and all the stuff you could do when you are child free. Good luck, and If you want to chat some more e-mail me. [e-mail]

Answer 3

First, take folic acid and prenatals assuming you are pregnant. Then find out for sure. I would consider adoption; you are too young to take on the responsibility of a child. They are wonderful, but they are financially and emotionally draining. And your childhood will be over the instant you decide to keep that child. Do not count on your boyfriend. He might have the best of intentions, but fatherhood is a scary thing for guys, let alone for teenaged guys. I teach high school and I have seen many relationships end because a child was created. I only know of one couple that stayed together. Those are bad odds.

If you chose open adoption, you could have some role in the child's life but you could also lead your own life as you should be leading it.

And please, reconsider being sexually active. You have so much time to worry about that; enjoy being a teenager while you still can. Time will fly, and before you know it, you'll be 30 with a mortgage and 2 kids and a minivan. Don't rush it.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Well, you need to determine if you're really pregnant before getting yourself all wrapped up in the "what do I do now?" thinking.

If you are, then you need to weigh all options and think about how each will possibly affect the rest of your life. Research everything from adoption to abortion to raising a child.

If you choose adoption, would you want an open adoption? Maybe a family member would adopt? Or would you rather hand the baby over and not know anything further about the child? After going through pregnancy and childbirth, would you be able to let go of the child?

If you choose abortion, then you need to research where, when, how and how much. Also research the risks involved and the long-term effects to you, mentally and physically.

Or there's keeping the baby. Can you handle being a parent when really, you're still very much a child yourself? How would you handle the responsibility involved in raising a child? Who would help you? How would you finish school?

Like I said, you need to find out for sure if you're pregnant and then start weighing your options. Regardless of what you choose...your parents will have to be involved, whether you want them to be or not. You wouldn't be able to get a legit abortion without their permission. I believe they also have to sign papers regarding adoption. And if you were to keep the child, they'd obviously notice that.

You need to talk to your parents immediately. You're going to need them to help you through this. If they're not going to help support you and your descisions, you need to find an adult who can help hear you out and possibly act as a moderator between you and your parents. Maybe a school counselor would be a good place to start. They could help you tell your parents and go from there.

If you're not pregnant...then I hope this serves as a wake-up to be more careful. Even better...to hold off on having sex until you're older.

I wish you the very best of luck.

Answer 5

Have an abortion. It's the best thing for you, given the situation. You're smart enough to know that if you are pregnant, what you are carrying is not alive yet. Having a baby at 14 is a bad decision. Take some time. There'll be plenty of time to have a baby when you're older and have done all the other things you want to do with your life.

Also, you now know how fanatical these anti-abortion types are, since you clearly asked them not to answer and they still couldn't stop themselves! Be careful of false information about abortions. Talk to someone at planned parenthood- they'll give you quality, honest medical advice. Also. be aware that there are a lot of places out there now who represent themselves as abortion clinics, but are actually set up by pro-life people. These clinics have been known to give girls false information- including telling them that they are not pregnant when they are, or telling them they have a health complication that prevents them from having a safe abortion, when they do not. Trust planned parenthood. They're reputable. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

ok... 1st off you are full of bullshit...you are not a breeder of beta, you are 13, you are not pregnate unless withen the last day you magically sprouted a fetus, by only sleeping wioth a guy a long time ago that you knew for 5 years... you are a little annoying girl that needs to be straightned out. also why are you asking the question if you only want one side to the equation... even a dumbass knows that is you put a rock on a scale but nothing on the other side you will be uneven and pointless which is what you are...pointless and irratating, and a whore i might add. anyone who actually looks at your previous questions will see what i am talking about... so before anyone gives me a thums down look at her previous questions and then if im lieing THEN report me for what ever the hell you feel the need... but i cant stand to shhe this bullshit on here anymore... and if t is atleast be in the jokes section cause that is all that this is, a misguided attempt to get attention from a LITTLE 13 year old demented physotic girl... get off here please

Answer 7

People are going to feed you a lot of crap on this topic. This is a decision that is entirely yours. You are very lucky you live in a country where you have the freedom to choose. You are very young and still have a lot of life to live. If you do choose abortion, it in no way will affect your future decision to have kids. It is a safe procedure, although can be very emotional wrecking. You are so young and cannot provide a good life for a child right now. If I were in your shoes I would seriously consider having an abortion. Some states will even pay for it. Call your local abortion clinic, they will be very helpful and give you all the information you need. Good luck in making your decision, I know you will make the right one for you.

Answer 8

IF you're pregnant, abortion does sound like a good option.

Contact your local Planned Parenthood. (www.plannedparenthood.org) You can get a test there, and advice.

And, I hear you can get pregnancy tests for a buck in American dollar stores. Make sure you destroy the evidence, given that stepmother (more on that in a moment).

Having a baby at 14 and moving in with a 16-yr-old boyfriend would destroy most people's lives. No offence, of course. 14 is _very_ young to go through a full pregnancy; I think the "adoption!" answers you're getting are from anti-choice types trying to disguise themselves.

Your stepmother is indeed a loon.

Note to others: from what purports to be her stepmother's question:

"She has been purchasing CD's and watching BET which show music that is teaching her things I do not want her even thinking about. She also has posters of this singer Lloyd Polite which I have taken down twice and she just got more. They are most disturbing because some have pictures of him with his shirt off. I do not want her going with anyone like her boyfriend who is not saved and is not a Christian person."

Yikes.

But, she also says:

"Her sister is bad enough whom already has 1 child and is pregnant with another."

Yikes.

Clearly, you're in need of support that's not available.

Even if you're not pregnant -- Planned Parenthood. You NEED reliable birth control. It's NOT optional. Hopefully, you're not pregnant, and need reliable birth control. Pity about your mother being out of the country, but you need to take charge of your own life.

Answer 9

I am pro choice, but aborting a fetus is murder. I believe you mean that zygote or an embroyo, which can not be recognized as a human being yet, is not murder, and on that, you would be correct. Up until the third month, the mother is carrying a zygote or an embroyo. After the third month though, the mother is carrying a fetus. The fetus is a baby that is not fully developed such as weight, lungs, etc. But some fetuses can survive, and have, outside of the mother's body. So this is why an abortion after the 3rd month is to be considered murder.
But you have not said how far along you are. If you are 14, you are still a child yourself. Just because you are old enough to get pregnant, or have sex does not make you grown. You are not grown until you have your own. Your own job, your own apartment, and for you your own mindset to care for someone else for the next 18 years. If you don't even have a high school education, many doors are closed to you already. Now those same doors are closing on any baby you have that you are not ready for the responsibility of. I'm not trying to preach to you, because you parents must have done so already, and that didn't seem to work, since you're calling them ignorant, when you're the one the didn't know enough about life to even know how NOT to become pregnant. But I'm sure you've heard that one already. What you need now, is someone to help you make a very important decision.
I believe in giving it to you straight, because since you're old enough to have sex and all, you should be old enough to take it.
Number one, you are not grown. You have no job. You can't even take care of yourself, much less a child. Notice I mentioned YOU in each sentence. I don't really care about the father, because most women can't even remember the name of the first boy they ever had sex with, and you won't remember his name about 5 years from now. If you live with him, and he is still a child himself, you are letting yourself into a world full of disappointments. If you bring your child with you into that mess, it will be even worse. You are not the first, and you won't be the last girl to get into trouble experimenting with sex and mistaking sex for love, but you dear heart, are too young for the life you THINK you want.
So in answer to your question, should you keep the baby or not, I'd say NOT. But if it is already too late to get an abortion, and most clinics won't perform one if you are past 3 months, you will have to keep it. If you move in with that boy though, don't think that you two will be together forever, I'm speaking the absolute truth! Ask any 10 women if they are still with the first boy they had sex with, and the majority of them will say no.
I guarantee he will stay until that baby is born, and then he will be seeing someone else on the side, leaving you at home with the baby. You will eventually get tired and leave, but you won't know where to go to, since you don't want to listen to the parents at home. Then, where will you be with no job, no skills, no place to stay, with a baby. You'd better think little sister, and slow down, cause you're rolling way too fast.

I don't know why you want to roll with the lowest of the low, but you must be as rich as Paris Hilton since I know you're not crazy enough to ask a mere 16 year old boy to try to pay out hundreds of dollars for an abortion, since you don't even have a job, and not old enough to get one without a work permit. That your parents must sign. You can't do anything without someone else in this world, and you still need your parents for that too. Everything you have, THEY bought. Everything you eat, THEY pay for. Like I said, you must be very rich, or very crazy if you think that someone is going to come up with all that money for YOUR mistake. A mistake that would not have even been made, if you would have only been a good girl and listened.

Answer 10

I am 15 and pregnant my boyfriend is 18 and my parents hate him, they have called the cops on him 3 times and I nearly died when I found out I was pregnant, at the time I was 14. We wanted to get an abortion but here in Texas you have to have a parent with you so then we tried pushing in my stomach (STUPID) and nothing happened to it. So I ended u telling my parents I was pregnant when I was about 4 1/2 months.. It really is hard for people to understand what you are going though on here. Epically older people. But you can do this if you are pregnant. There are so many support groups and people willing to help. I am now 8 months pregnant with a healthy girl and very excited. If you need tot alk then e-mail me on [e-mail]