My girlfriend and I have been going out for three months now, and she just got on birtcontrol. We are wanting to do it soon, but she said I have to use a condom still. Finally we came to an agreement that if I got tested I wouldn't have to use one, and now she is back to saying I have to all the time until we get married, (I hate rubbers, I've used them before, but hate using them). So how do I tell her that I really don't want to use one, without making her mad??
2007-01-05 09:52:31 · 14 answers · asked by Snake 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Sounds like you have a pretty smart girlfriend! I can understand that you don't like the way they feel. But, no b/c is 100%!! Are you ready for the life changing responsibilities of being a parent? She said she wants YOU to get tested, but what about her? Do you know where she has been? Are you ready to deal with a lifetime of disease if she is not as clean as you might think she is? There is a lot to think about!
2007-01-05 09:58:02 · answer #1 · answered by One Race The Human Race 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you and your girlfriend discuss the situation openly and honestly. My fiancee has the same issue and he was up front with me. We ended up creating a plan that included both of us getting tested and me getting on birth control, but until that happened he used the condoms. I think that having the plan up front made it a lot easier for both of us to deal with our concerns. I also saw it as a time to get to know each other better as there are so many other ways to pleasure each other that do not require the use of a condom. Get creative, but I agree with others here that respect is important, for both of you. It sounds like you may have worked towards some of this already, but maybe there is something else bothering her. Do you know what all of her concerns are? In the end I think communication is the best answer, especially if you are planning on getting married...it is a skill that will never be wasted.
2007-01-05 18:56:31 · answer #2 · answered by Erin T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First try and convince her to use additional contraceptives, like spermicides and morning after pills. Second, I think it is good for her to be asking you use a condom. Having a kid when you dont really want one is a huge change in life, and can be a burden, physically, finacially and emotionally. I think she is just wanting to keep away babies untill she has lived out her youth, It will be okay. I wouldnt worry to much, just use the rubber if the other alternatives are a no go. If you love her you will agree with her decision. It is her carrying a baby in the end.
2007-01-05 18:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by Holly M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always wear a condom no matter. Too bad you dont like the way it feels. Dont have sex then or wait until you get married. Birth control is not 100% effective and you never know about diseases. just because you tested negative the first time doesnt mean they arent there. Just wrap it up. That way your penis wont fall off in a few years.
2007-01-05 18:01:07 · answer #4 · answered by pepepippy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's her body, her choice... you have to respect that. It's your responsibilty to make sure you know where your sperms ends up too!! Birth control is NOT 100%.
Getting tested does not clear you of all STDs... even if it comes back clear, there are some STDs that are dormant. What if she wants you to use a rubber because she has something she doesn't want to pass to you?
2007-01-05 18:01:14 · answer #5 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get laid then be respectful of the fact that she doesn't want a baby out of wedlock. No form of birth control is 100%. I have an 18 month old to show for the pill. Just use them and if you want to marry her then do. Then you wont have to use them again.
2007-01-05 17:56:29 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you've got yourself a very smart girlfriend. She's standing by her beliefs and you need to respect that. If you really love her and want to stay with her, this should be a non-issue.
2007-01-05 18:09:27 · answer #7 · answered by JoesWifee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put it to her the exact way that you wrote it on here. Maybe she will understand. And if she asks you to wait for a little while longer then respect her wishes. I know that it must be unconfortable so just let her know that.
2007-01-05 17:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by Tinkerbell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you get married to have sex. That is the ultimate respect for a woman.
2007-01-05 18:13:46 · answer #9 · answered by momofkings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to grow up and respect her choice. Birth control isn't always effective. Good thing that she's trying to be responsible.
2007-01-05 19:49:37 · answer #10 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋