my partner has said that she is going to leave me because I rang the police about a text message she sent me last night saying that she couldn't take some people anymore and wanted to die, it looked to serious for me to ignore and seemed like a cry for help and thats why I did what I did, she later messaged me and said that she was only upset and wanted to winge and that she loves me, she then messaged me to say what do you like about me? mwa which means kisses.....I have sent her an email saying that I am sorry for what I had done last night and several txts and have said that I will ring her tonight but I am looking for advice because I just dont know what she will say when I verbally tell her why I called the police....I really have no idea so if you can please give me some ideas that would be appreciated.
thanks
Mitch
note: I dont know why she sent the message like she did when all she wanted to do was have a winge, I hope she knows how much worry this has caused me :(
2007-01-05 09:34:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
oh come on please give me some serious answers
2007-01-05 09:38:04 · update #1
I'm not sure what a winge is, but here's a serious answer:
YOU don't have anything to be sorry about!
You don't!
You love her, or at the very least you care for her and for her well being. I would be quite surprised if she didn't already understand that. It sounds like the police were there, sounds like they told her you called, and it sounds like you already admitted it and you told her why you did it. While it never hurts to say, "I'm sorry", I strongly suggest you stick to your guns. Be sorry if that's how you feel. Seriously - but *tell her exactly what it is you're sorry about!* Just telling her you're sorry means you could be sorry for upsetting her, but not sorry that the police showed up on your request for intervention to protect her life. If you aren't sorry about that, tell her so. Let her know that if she's feeling that bad, it's probably better to leave the dramatics out of it.
And buddy, if she even thought about leaving you for that, let her. I would bet she'll be come back very shortly. It sounds like it would be an impulse decision on her part and when she calms down, you need only let her know that you'll be waiting when she's ready.
2007-01-05 09:48:09 · answer #1 · answered by stevegoryan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you took her seriously enough to call the police, and she didn't mean it seriously...dude, y'all are NOT communicating!
Talk to her. This may turn out to be just a stupid misunderstanding, or it may mean that she has problems you just can't help her with. If she really is mentally ill, she should take care of her problems on her own and that might mean she needs to break up with you.
Or maybe she'll give you a mulligan on this. Talk to her calmly and rationally, set some boundaries as to what you should do if she's suicidal or really depressed or whatever, and see how things go.
It's really up to both of you as to where this goes from here. But don't feel too bad about calling the cops--if you read her wrong, maybe she was sending the wrong signals. Just see if you can figure out a way to go on in the future, and if she wants out...let her out. Sometimes, a relationship is just too much stress to handle.
2007-01-05 09:43:16 · answer #2 · answered by SlowClap 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you were upset and scared by her Email!
I would have been too! But you really should have just emailed her back to check to see if she was really serious.
But I hope that she will understand that the only reason you did it was because you love her and really care for her and didn't want to see anything happen to her.
Say your really sorry that you reacted the way you did, but you couldn't help your self. That in the future, which you sincerely hope you will still have after this incident, that you will not act in haste. What you both went through is an example of getting to know each other better and strengthing your relationship.
2007-01-05 09:45:19 · answer #3 · answered by Dale 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Mitch after all the issues you have had, you're still with this girl. Cant you see what she is doing to you, it's called emotional blackmail. People who harm themselves seldom send messages like that as a joke which only really makes what she did even more upsetting. All she had to do was tell you she was depressed and needed to talk, sounds like she really needs to see someone as you dont need to be taking all of this upon your own shoulders. No-one should have to put up with that kind of crap. asking what you like about her .. she seems very insecure and childish. You seriously need to make a decision about the two of you, because if you feel bad now, how will you feel in six months when you are the one depressed ?
2007-01-05 10:04:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you screwed up, big time. I understand your mind was in the right place, caring, but you have to remember that women are emotional and they often say things that are rather irrational. You have to take these with a grain of salt and NEVER take ANYTHING she says to you personally.
Apologize about 150 times, send her 100 red roses and a diamond with a teddy bear, find out what her favorite scent is, bath salt, etc. Spend as much money on her as you possibly can. Let her know that you acknowledge that you were a boob and hopefully she'll let it go.
FP
2007-01-05 09:41:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
WOW, You need to tell her that you are someone she can talk to about anything, that you are there for her. That the reason you did what you did was because she means so much to you and you dont know the right things to say to her. you want to help 100% but you may say only 25% of what she needs to hear. how can you Help. Tell her to open up to you if , you are committed to helping her sincerely
2007-01-05 09:41:16 · answer #6 · answered by sugerglaze28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had every right to take a suicide suggestion seriously. What if it had been heart-felt and you did nothing.
I think that you shouldn't apologise for this, but rationalise why you did and maybe talk about what is going on. If she wants to winge and feels like drama is the only way for you to listen, explore this with her.
2007-01-05 09:37:58 · answer #7 · answered by Athena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how much you love and care about her and that you did it just because you were afraid that she was going to hurt herself. She should realize that you thought you were doing the right thing by calling the police. Good Luck!
2007-01-05 09:39:04 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh jeez... You did nothing wrong. Stop blaming yourself. If anything she should realize you love her. Don't kick yourself. If anything this should have strengthened your relationship by showing her how much you really care!
She may have been embarrassed, but still, that was the right thing to do. I would have done the same thing if someone I loved told me something to make me think they were going to kill themselves.
2007-01-05 09:37:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-16 03:08:17 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋