I'm bisexual and I've fallen for my friend. Please help!?

Question

I have really fallen for one of my best friends and it's driving me insane because I value her friendship so much.

We've only known each for 6 months but there was a connection right away. During this time some things have happened between us. We briefly shared a drunken kiss, we have held each other close in bed and she let me stroke her stomach and hips. The way we cuddle is not normally how friends would cuddle, it's special. She does say nice things to me about how I look and how she thinks my eyes are the sexiest thing ever.

Problem is, I've only just come to terms with the fact I'm bisexual and no one else knows this. I could ask her how she really feels but I don't want to lose her friendship. She does have a boyfriend but they always argue and have hit a bad patch and I will support her through it.

I feel insecure in our relationship now. I just can't tell whether she feels the same about me and what I should do about it. Can anyone please help me?

Answer 1

When I tell my friends that I'm bi, they usually either tell me that they're bi too, or make it very clear that they are straight. I think you should open up to her as a friend and tell her that you are bi. It would probably be good to tell her that she is the first one you have told, and that you needed to talk to someone about it, and she's like your best friend. See how it goes, listen completely to what she says to you. Make it really clear that she is a really good friend, or else, you may end up loosing her. These things you must say in the right way. It must not sound like you want to be girlfriends, you've got to let her decide this. However, from what you've explained I think she probably is bi, and is just afraid as you that if she tells you she will loose your friendship. Good luck, I hope this helps.

Answer 2

Honey, any friend that tells you that she thinks your eyes are the sexiest thing ever is a friend that you can at least compliment back and see what her reaction is. From how it sounds, you have something between you (other than her boyfriend). Try to bring it up in a light, joking way first... see what she does. You'll learn more about her, and you, in the process. If it's not a sexual connection, your friendship may even get better.

Oh, and for Mr. Homophobe ("Me") - if you're that homophobic, why are you even browsing this section? Are you curious too?

Answer 3

A long time ago I realized I had strong feelings for my best friend (potentially a heterosexual relationship, but none the less). I would say that from experience, you need to tell her. I didn't tell my friend because I was terrified that it would be too awkward for us to be friends but it really did make things worse. I was always jealous of her boyfriends and eventually she got the idea. It is still to this day awkward because we never got to talk about it and it has just gotten a lot harder. If you two really are that close of friends, I think she will understand. It may be weird for you two to be close, especially physically like you have been, but as long as you explain that it is not just you lusting after her, things should be OK. Just try not to make it seem like you are to steal her from her boyfriend because that will no doubt put him against you and she will still have someone to fall back on if things between the two of you got sour.

Answer 4

My advice: hold off.
She may have trouble in a relationship, but she is STILL in a relationship. You should respect that.

If things go sour and they break up; the first thing you should do is let her know about your nature. Coming out AND telling her you like her might be a bit much. If she seems interested or if things don't change between you; than try for it. You only live once. But go slow.
Anytime friends become something more (straight, gay, bi, whatever) it changes things forever. But Good Luck.

Answer 5

Start by just discussing your sexuaity with her. If she's really as good of a friend as you think she is, she'll accept you for it, whether she feels the same way or not.

Answer 6

be careful, she mite only be getting close to u becoz of her rocky relationship...or she could really like you...and if you dont talk about it you could never no wat could of bin....she could be the one...you could be soul mates...maybe you's should have a few drinks loosen up one nite then mention it to her...she prob feels the same way u do :) good luck chicky

Answer 7

I'd love to give a different answer, but I think Crystaley... has send it all

Answer 8

ewww...sorry im homophobic

Answer 9

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