Need Relationship advice?

Question

I need advice. My BF and I have been together for almost 5 years. We are 22 and 24. We both have good jobs making 45K and 50K, graduated college, have a new townhome, nice cars, everything. I feel like I am getting older and want to get married soon. He is really nice, puts me before everything, supportive, etc. But he smokes weed and I always ask hijm to stop but he doesnt. Its not like he does it with our friends or once in while when we drink or anything. Its like every night almost. Maybe 6 nights a week. He is like high everynight. I hate it. I feel like if he doesnt stop I want to find someone else, but I love him and feel like that would be a mistake cause everything else is perfect and worth it. I dont know. Sorry so long. Any advice?

He has been doing it ever since we met, I did for a while too so I didnt care. But I havent for like 2 years, I guess I grew out of it.

Answer 1

Kitty, Are you willing to have children with this man knowing he has this habit? Would you be willing to let him do drugs once you have children and they are in the house? These are things you need to consider. I hope you will answer NO to both of them, for your health and that of your future children.

You mention that you "grew out of" the desire to do drugs. I think that is important to look at, because it seems your BF has not. Is he less mature than you....maybe not in terms of education and success, but emotionally immature? Once again, is this who you want for the father of your children and your life long mate?

You have asked him to stop this, yet he continues with it "almost every night". How respectful is that to YOU? Mutual respect is so important in a marriage and it seems like you are losing respect for him due to this habit and he seems to not have much for you if he continues this.

I don't want to say that you should leave him, because that is something you need to reconcile within yourself. But, I do hope you look at him and his habits and consider how they will fit in to your future.

I hope this helps you.

Answer 2

didn't he smoke weed when you met him? listen, you're still young. as you continue to evolve and mature you'll realize that everything isn't always perfect. i'm not telling you to settle for anything less than you deserve, but he sounds like a good guy who has his **** together. however, it sounds like he's high all the time and you don't like to be around him when he's high, so when does all of this supportive great relationship go on? only you can decide what you need.

Answer 3

You must put your foot down, and if he cannot give up on the weed, he doesn't deserve such a devotion that you give him, love is about trust and compromise, if you love him and he loves you, giving up the weed is a no contest, show him that you love him but this is hurting your relationship, show him support to quit, that if he tries you will be there to help, but if he doesn't want to stop, he doesn't want you. Sometimes to prove true love, you have to be harsh, don't let yourself be secondary to a crutch, and weed is a crutch, a way of dealing with lifes challenges, he should be going to you not it to deal with life.

Answer 4

I think if you feel its important to have him stop smoking weed, and he doesn't respect that, maybe you should find someone who will. I think respect of what you like should come first before love. If you love the guy but he doesn't respect your requests...its not worth it.

Answer 5

He is the one who has to stop, and you can only help him.

Do not forgotten that lasting relationships require patience and forbearance. What is more, such relationships require concern and consideration, and even sacrifice.

Answer 6

if you love him (and he loves you back) and he won't try and stop, you should probably either get him some help,or dump him as a friend. it might not work, but hes your friend and he should at least think about what your saying.