we have two other kids, and I really want him there... he says he needs to be with the kids...and won't come. But then mostly I think he just says that when he is mad at me. I really don't want my mom there or anyone else but just him.
If its the middle of the night I understand...but if it's not should I be mad?
2007-01-05 09:19:38 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
was he there during the sex?............... Okay then.......
2007-01-05 09:29:48 · answer #1 · answered by Vanessa H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did he come to the delivery of your other 2 children? If your other children are under age 5, he has valid point. Also, some people can not stand the sight of blood. Or maybe he just is not comfortable with other people seeing his wife's private body parts. Whater it is, don't be mad at him but ask him nicely if any of these are his reasons for not wanting to be at the delivery. After he answers let him know how much it means to you to have him there. You can both share your feelings but respect each other.
2007-01-05 17:35:53 · answer #2 · answered by pittstat81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a jerk! Mom can be with the kids.
Tell him, you need him there. You need his love and support.
Sit down, have a nice talk with him (when you are not arguing) - clear the air. If he is saying it in anger, let him know that it really bothers you when he does this and you would feel a lot better if he did not make threats like this, even though he does not mean them.
If the baby decides to come in the middle of the night, does he expect you to drive yourself??? He should be with you, anytime - day or night.
2007-01-05 17:31:15 · answer #3 · answered by starting over 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough question - there are a lot of factors. If there's no one else you can trust to take care of the kids, then he should probably take the kids, which means you would need to find someone you trust to be in the room with you. If you can get someone to take care of the kids - like a grandparent - then no matter what time labor happens, you should be able to count on him to support you during labor. If it's not possible to get someone else to take care of the kids, you might consider hiring a doula through a reliable source. I had my baby with a midwife, with a couple of other midwives in the room acting as doulas, and it was awesome.
Good luck!!!
2007-01-05 17:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very upset!!!!!! We just had our 6th baby, so,
I can understand the problem with needing some one to be there for the other children. BUT he needs to be there. My husband was not able to stay for to long after the last few births but he was there when I needed him the most. And he did not come to visit but for 1 hr the next day with the kids. Then I called when they were completely done with the discharge to come get me. For us that was a good plan. I also stayed home for most of my labor because of the other children.
2007-01-05 17:38:26 · answer #5 · answered by Brenda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, i'd be mad. especially if you could find someone else to take care of your other kids. He should want to see his child being born. Maybe your mom could watch the kids and he could come to the delivery. Then, once all of the hard work is done, your mom could bring your other kids to the hospital. Then, you'll all be together and your other kids could feel like they are part of the experience as well.
2007-01-05 17:34:11 · answer #6 · answered by *karasi* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would shoot a man for lesser things, so yeah, you have a right to be pissed.
Not to mention the fact that just because you already have two kids and have gone through birth 2 times is going to make this time any easier.
What if they have to do a c-section? If he thinks that you're pissed now, he should just wait until something like that happens, when you really need him there.
You should tell him that you don't want him there. Tell him you would rather have a friend or a family member who he hates there. That should make him change his tone real quick.
2007-01-05 17:28:12 · answer #7 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know that if for some reason I have to have a C-Section, my husband will not be there. But I understand that. Years ago when he was with his ex-girlfriend, she got pregnant and they decided to put the baby up for adoption. There was some complications and she had to have a c-section. He was there with her and the smells and such really got to him.
I can't blame him for not wanting to be present for a c-section. I've had 2 vaginal births and he's been there with both. He'll be there this time too, just as long as I don't have to have a C-Section.
In your case - He should be there unless there is some reason he really can't. Blaming it on needing someone to watch the kids isn't acceptable. Your mom can do that while he's with you.
2007-01-05 17:29:46 · answer #8 · answered by lilly_rose_starphase 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think he should be there. Is there anyone you know near by who can come take care of the kids? You will need him. I think there must be more to his resistance than just that the other kids need to be cared for. Talk to him, try to probe what the trouble is. Maybe things that happened in the other births are making him scared/uncomfortable about being there again.
2007-01-05 17:23:56 · answer #9 · answered by tabithap 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should be mad! It is HIS child too that you are carrying and going to deliver. He helped in making it so of course he should be there with you. Talk to your family to see if maybe one of them could watch the other 2 children when you go into labor. If they don't mind, see if they would be willing to help out if you go into labor in the middle of the night, then it would take off some of the stress on both of you knowing that family is taking care of them.
2007-01-05 17:25:56 · answer #10 · answered by kerrberr95 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your mother is willing to attend for the delivery, surely she is able to look after the kids in the middle of the night?? Yes he should be there, he helped put the thing there so can encourage him/her to come out! I suggest you leave him if he doesn't attend for the delivery :) Good luck (your boyfriend needs a good hard kick in the nads btw) :)
2007-01-05 17:27:04 · answer #11 · answered by -Rachel- 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋