What's the obsession with young women getting married?

Question

I want to get married, but it seems as if everytime I turn the corner someone wants to know if I will be getting a husband soon. I am in graduate school and I am attractive and smart. I feel I have accomplished a lot in my young life, but most people are fixated on if I am involved in a romantic relationship. Why are single men considered bachelors but women who want to pursue higher education and gain better jobs are considered old maids? Plus, I am not ready for kids.

Answer 1

i think a lot of women are just rushing into things. I mean really some people can get married young and stay together but that happens rarely nowadays. I think it's because women figure if they wait too long they may lose their chance to have a family and all that. I'd say an exampIewould be you fall in love and you figure he's the one you'll be with forever, and if you pass him up you may never find love like that again. But in reality that's not true. If you're meant to be with someone it will happen. I just think everyone is in too much of a hurry nowadays and they don't really consider what will happen when they get married and all that.

Answer 2

At the momment, his obcession isn't wrong but it certainly isn't healthy and it's almost a certainty his problems are going to catch up with him before long... The way I see it is that if you notice his actions then others will notice also and sooner or later he will be in the middle of a scandal that will cost him his teaching position for life... As you are just 13, there is nothing you can do even if talking with him because he has a mental problem and won't listen to you... To go further, he really is having a problem in his marriage as no good husband would be into doing the things he is doing... I'm sorry this is wearing off on you but do want you to understand he has an illness requiring help as this illness does grow much worse with passing time and the results will hurt everyone in the family including you... What can you do...? There really isn't much you can do except to talk to your mom about it and tell her of your worry for your dad and are beginning to have feelings of fear that he could possibly abuse you... Ask your mom to be honest with you and explain to you if she is having marriage problems. As dad needs help, it's very possible that if both mom and dad went to counseling that things could be fixed and returned to a more family-like relationship... It isn't unusual for parents to fall out of love and still remain together until the children are grown and on their own. This does not always work and, under the circumstances of your dad's illness, it isn't going to work at all unless counseling will help... Your dad thinks if mom had a girl then it would be cool...yeah, sure... Why didn't he say a guy instead...? A girl for mom would be a lesbian and many lesbians are bi. In other words, someone to please him is what he really meant...! It appears even you are going to face problems with this situation later and I do hope they will be minimal. However, if he makes just one sexual advance towards you and gets away with it, it won't be the last and each advance will be more daring for him. If he touches you but one time in-appropriately then tell the police, no one else. If he has reached that point already and someone reports him then that someone is probably saving someone else from being raped...that someone else could even be you or one of your closest chica friends...! Now read this a couple of times more so your mind will be clearer for knowing what to do and when... Good luck now and try not to be afraid until you are positive for having a reason to...

Answer 3

You're so right. Its exactly the way you've described. Plus if you DO get married the next thing they want to know is when you are going to have kids.
A 35 year old man is an 'eligible bachelor' and a woman, a middle aged spinster. Having married at the ripe 'old' age of 28 myself I had to dodge quite a few of those bricks from 'helpful aunties' myself.
I think this bias has continued to exist and is still in business for the simple reason that a woman's reproductive capabilities have a shorter shelf life than a man's. Her biological clock is ticking, and it seems the whole world and its granny can hear it! She needs to get 'having babies' out of the way before its too late for her to do so... not so for a man who can still sire kids at 80 (unfortunately so).
I think the busybody angle stems from this simple yet hard fact.

Answer 4

Maybe these people are not calling you an old maid.

Maybe they see the good qualities and charactoristics in you that show your potential to have kids and raise a wonderful family.

They are looking forward to seeing a new family with you as a mother and role model.

; )

Answer 5

I think you're doing very good to be young, and in college! But the truth of the matter is... Women want stability. They don't want to worry about too much, so in turn they would most likely want to be settled down. Feeling safe and secure.

Answer 6

I agree. I'm so glad I developed my career and education before getting married. I've seen my girlfriends who got married at 20, 21, even 22 struggle and have regrets that I'm proud to say I'll never have.

Answer 7

Gurl, get urself established first. Guys will always be there, dont change ur life 4 other ppl, do ur thing!

Answer 8

This seems like something you should be worried about ,you have to learn to let stuff go .

Answer 9

Thats just the way society thinks ( still ).