I used to think that 2 yrs between children would be a good gap, so that would mean trying to get pregnant soon, but I'm starting to worry...will having two be harder, will one of them get neglected, will I be able to love them both equally? I definitely want more, but maybe not so soon. Did anyone have similar worries when planning for baby number two? How did things work out for you?
2007-01-05 08:52:11 · 13 answers · asked by happymommy 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
My children are 13 mos apart. I didn't have time to plan them. but i was so happy and so glad they are close in age. I really am. It was hard while they were young, 2 in diapers, 2 in bottles, etc.. but after making it through the first year-- it was smooth sailing for me anyways. It is not harder, it's different. You will love them both as much as the other. Your heart expands in areas, and ways you never knew it could. Mom's are made that way, its God's design. Don't worry and stress it. You will do a GREAT JOB and love them all the same! JOYS!!!!!!
2007-01-05 08:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by Brook 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I had all of those worries! I talked about it! I talked to my doctor (whoes daughters are about 3 yrs apart) and I talked to the nurses, friends and so forth. My one friend has 3 children all of them only have about a 1year gap between, and she said it was hard, hard as heck....but worth it. Everyone said the same thing too. The children will have a closer bond, learn more things together, plus the hand me downs make things cheaper. But I am sure it's hard! In the end, I still knew it was best. My daughter was only about 9.5 months old when I got pregnant again. I am 21 weeks now. They will be about 18-19 months apart. We are having her spend time with other babies, and letting her get used to all the new things (like the second crib) and talk to her a lot about it. I think it will be fine!
I won't lie though, this pregnancy is SO HARD! I was tired before chasing after her, but now....blah! But my husband is great and keeps up a lot of the house work and helps me out a lot. I guess if you don't have a supportive man I would reconsider, but otherwise no. And the loving part....hmm, when the whole idea of another baby became real it was hard. I couldn't imagine loving another person as much as I do her...but once I felt the movements, heard the heart beat and starting picking out names....and then finding out it was another girl...it's amazing, but you don't lose love for your other child, your heart seems to grow to accomodate the two miracles. I love them both so much I can't imagine life without either one...and I am only 21 weeks pregnant! Good Luck!!
2007-01-05 17:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by angie_laffin927 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MY children are 8 years apart. One will be 10 in February and the other will be 2 in May - 2 months before baby #3 is born. It has actually been difficult for me having two that are so far apart. My fiance and I wanted our son (the one who will be 2 when baby #3 is born) to have a sibling close in age. It is possible to love all your kids equally - a parents heart has no Max Capacity. You will have worries regardless of what they are about. If its not one thing its another. I recommend making a list: Pros and Cons of having babies 2 years apart. After your done with the list (give yourself time to some with all the pros and cons you can think of like a few days) look it over for a couple days and make a decision and stick to it. One last thing I have to say: Being a parent is difficult no matter the ages or how far apart your kids are n age. Take Care and Good Luck.
2007-01-05 17:04:11 · answer #3 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that love is the issue,however many children you have,you will love them all.It's more about having the time for each child.If you wait 3 yrs and then start trying,then your oldest child should have started school or day care.This means that in the day you can concentrate on the baby.Try to have a sleep when the baby does,when the older child comes home from school you will be more able to give them the attention needed.
2007-01-05 17:05:16 · answer #4 · answered by New Boots. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am pregnant with #2 and I worry sometimes that I will neglect one or the other. But I know that as long as I have my first helping out and include him with his little brother it will be fine. They say going from 1 to 2 is the hardest. You will love them both and you won't neglect one over the other, just make sure you treat them and spend time with them equally.
2007-01-05 17:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My toddlers are 16 months apart. There are definately pro's to having them close together, such as:
They'll always have each other
They can sleep in the same room
They play with the same kind of toys
They get invited to the same parties
You can take easy vacations when they start school. (a five and a seven year old would be easier than a five and a nine month old)
Same bedtime
Same bathtime
etc.
Two major cons are:
Its hard getting them in and out when you go places if you don't have any help. (especially if they both want to be carried everywhere)
Its definately more expensive
Its just my opinion. I feel like its easier having two other than one. They keep each other entertained and they learn from each other.
2007-01-05 17:25:02 · answer #6 · answered by pixiedustplease 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that two or three or maybe four kids is fine. There is nothing to worry about. At least the other child will have someone to play with. They also will have a younger brother or sister. I had three it worked out just fine. Good Luck
2007-01-05 16:57:54 · answer #7 · answered by christina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having two will absolutely be harder, no doubt about that , but in my opinion so very worth it! No , no one will be neglected.You have no idea how much more love and happiness you will have in your life. {Times 2!! yes i had same worries and everything worked out great for me. My "babies" are now 13yrs. and 11yrs. as far as how long you wait for baby #2 its up to you , but it can be the best decision you ever make . Good luck to you !
2007-01-05 17:05:21 · answer #8 · answered by Elisa Dawn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry youll love them both equally. My husband and I were wondering the same thing. I just want to get the other pregnancy over and done with. but i think we've just decided to try and see what happens. . . so if it happens its meant to be and if it dont happen. . .oh well. . .maybe next time. so far nothings happened and ive been off the pill for 4 months. good luck with your decision.
2007-01-05 19:55:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think everyone has the same doubts about that, i only have one baby but im trying to concieve right now and ive been thinking about the same thing for quite awhile, but what i figure is that once that baby comes around your motherly instincts will kick in once again and you will know how to handle things in your own way and things will end up working out in the end either way good luck
2007-01-05 17:07:03 · answer #10 · answered by <3 mykiddos,mylife <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋