He's recently divorced, yet now his ex is making noises about wanting to get back together... and SHE was the one who walked out on him and filed for divorce!
Technically, he and I are just "friends" but we do feel something for each other... how can I fight for him? I think he's torn between his ex, with whom he has a bit of history (not much, relatively speaking, they were only married 4.5 years) and me. What can I do to fight for him? I don't mean knock-down, drag-out fist fight... how can I get him to come to me, instead of running back to HER?
2007-01-05 08:27:55 · 11 answers · asked by lachicadecafe 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just be the one who is sweet and kind, non complaining, kind, attentive, but know that they can always choose to go back to their ex, and u will have to accept whatever happens here. the nicer u are to him, and the less hassle u give him the better chance u have of keeping him, give no ultimatums, do no accusing, show no insecurities, and act dignified at all times. good luck to u
2007-01-05 08:51:31 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4.5 years may not seem like a long time to be married to someone, but it is. You also have to count the time they were together before they got married. Ether way they do have a connection together and YES a History, based on Love and Friendship. They need to work out there feelings and decide what it is they want to do. If he's not in love with her then he wont go back to her. All you can really do is let your feeling be known, and if he chooses you then you won. But it has to be HIS decision. You want him to come to you with his heart in tact. Give him time to decide. Good Luck.
2007-01-05 16:45:38 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be supportive. Never say anything about his ex even if he does. Just play the wait and see game. You may still come out ahead if you just lay back and be his support system. But remember 4.5 years is longer than you think when its a relationship. But if it doesn't work out then your better off finding out now than later after you get even closer and he decides to go back to her. Good Luck
2007-01-05 16:48:10 · answer #3 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear.... well honey, the man will ultimatly do whatever he wants to do.
The only thing that you can do is to make it clear that you want to have a relationship with him and "talk him" into telling him that he should not make the same mistake twice by going back to her. tell him that statistically, going back to your ex-spouse ends up in separation afetrwards, so why going to the hassle.
Now my advice to you is to be aware of what he does. If he is a gentleman, he will make a decision in between the two of you. I guess what I;m trying to say is that you need to be careful of him not playing both of you, his ex-wife and you and double time you. You deserve better than that.... dignity is one thing a woman should never lose.
Good luck
2007-01-05 16:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, be yourself. Don't play games. You don't have time for those. Be honest and tell him upfront how you feel. Do not overly-chase him. I think that would chase him away as well. Sometimes when you give a person space instead of chasing them, they start to come toward you on their own.
2007-01-05 16:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by spanky1492 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never fight over a man. For all you know he might just want to get back with her, and then you'll be looking stupid in the end. GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-05 16:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by star-e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't yours if he is Torn between the two......play the wait and see game if you believe that he is worth it......but try not to be disappointed with his decision the ex-wife has more power than you think.....HE Knows HER!!!!
2007-01-05 16:31:13 · answer #7 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. Never give up hope. One day at a time....I'm sure you'd like to beat her @ss, trust me I know! Don't chase him, let him come to you, but just pray and everything will be fine. Good luck!
2007-01-05 16:44:54 · answer #8 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a grown man. Leave him alone and let him figure things out for himself.
2007-01-05 16:31:37 · answer #9 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't DO anything. He will make his choice, you can't make it for him. Just BE the person you are, that's all you can do. He will make the choice.
If he does not choose you, then why would you want him anyway?
2007-01-05 16:38:16 · answer #10 · answered by moniquebell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋