we've been married for 4 years.we have 2 kids.our sex life is almost gone.i ask him what he wants from me and he says the only thing that will make him happy is anal sex.this is not going to happen with me.i tried ,it hurt,and i started bleeding afterwards.he is the only person i have been with. i need your help.
2007-01-05 08:01:47 · 12 answers · asked by sexyhartley3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweetie, try talking with him 1st, ask him why he wants it, one of my girlfriends has this same problem & she just asked her boyfriend why he asks for anal sex more than normal sex & he told her that anal can't get her pregnant & that the area is tighter, if that's your problem, you can easily get a minor surgery to fix that.
You can never say the sex life is gone, he's a man & can get really turned on when his woman really fixes up herself for him, hire a babysitter, cook his favourit meal, wear something very sexy, look your best & get incharge of your sex life!!
The problem nowadays with us girls is that we "wait" for our men to make the 1st move ( all the time )! & that's not right nor fair. If you really want your man, you have to make an effort in keeping the sex life alive.
If you're overweight, get on a diet, join a gym, if your woredrobe is boring, get a new sexy one, fix up more, dirty talk your husband, tell yourself this is a battle you refuse to lose.
& If he still insists on anal, try it. The thing about anal is that you should have an empty stomach before it happens, other wise it will hurt, ask your hubby to use lube, vasline or even baby oil, it's not that bad, If you see your husband really turned on, that will definitly turn you on & get you in the mood & in the future, make you like it , keep in mind that 1st times always hurts like hell, so ask him to be gentel next time.
Just tell yourself ( he's my man & I'll do anything to keep him ) & really do your best.
Best of luck.
2007-01-05 08:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by CupCake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"The only thing that will make me happy is anal sex" is a bizarre statement upon first glance. But then I read you say that it's not going to happen. Presumably, he knows this. Therefore, what he is saying is that you cannot make him happy. By claiming anal sex will make him happy, and also knowing you won't do it, he is attempting to place the blame for the relationship's lack of success upon you. Don't believe this crap. You need to talk with him to figure out his true source of dissatisfaction and help him own up to his part in the current sorry state of your marriage.
2007-01-05 08:09:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He is probably fascinated by your anus and the "forbidden" stigma of anal sex. Try allowing anal play with him. When he goes down on you, have him lubricate a finger with your vaginal juices, then slowly insert his finger in you anus. Once he does this, your orgasm from cunnilingus will be overpowering. Also, try masturbating in front of him, using your own finger to stimulate your anus. Once you become comfortable with this, try using small butt plugs or anal toys with lube. Doing this will help you to feel comfortable and teach you how to relax your sphincter muscles. Over time, both of you should reach a comfort level where you might be able to try anal sex again.
2007-01-08 11:16:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a freak to demand that. Consensual is ok but demanding you to do something you do not want to do is sick. Get a strap on. Tell him you wanna f*** his a** or he has to leave. This should fix him. His a** and your a** are just as tight and made as an outlet only. OR let him do it to you right after overdosing on exlax. SH** all over him. That'll be his last anal escapade.
2007-01-05 08:10:18 · answer #4 · answered by Jekyl and Hyde 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one because this is such a sensitive topic. What he considers pleasure causes you pain. This is something that you two should discuss. Unfortunately, sometimes when your married for a while you lose spontaneity. Try doing something special and unplanned. This might get the juices flowing again.
2007-01-05 08:10:02 · answer #5 · answered by JP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to pay a little more attention to your husband and watch him closer to answer the question of his sexuality, No heterosexual male would tell a woman he only wants to have anal sex or nothing..I will pray for you
2007-01-05 08:06:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, why would he want to hurt you? that's messed up. anal sex shouldn't be the ONLY thing that will make him happy. having you and your love regardless of anal sex should make him happy. he sounds very selfish.
the same thing happened to me. my husband suggested anal sex and i had never tried it so i let him. but when we did it, it hurt so much and I also started bleeding. I know he wants to do it, but he doesn't ask, because he knows it hurts.
2007-01-05 08:05:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! you are in big trouble the only suggestion I can suggest is seeing some kind of counseler because I myself would not allow anyone to shove something where nature did not intend it.
2007-01-05 08:07:33 · answer #8 · answered by Ynot! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you are comfortable with. Try new things, you need to make the effort to try new things instead of leaving it up to him. You need to spice up your marriage outside of the bedroom also. Extra hugs and kisses, love you's and thank you's. Anything. Do something unless you want an unhappy husband.
2007-01-05 08:29:19 · answer #9 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hot lingerie show, B Lo W JoB, Make a tape of you touching yourself and hide it in his sock drawer, the list gos on.....
2007-01-05 08:05:48 · answer #10 · answered by aubreytaegan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋