i am a stay at home mom in texas w/ 3 kids. husband makes about 50K a year. Married 10 years. i need out, what's next? I have no money, we own nothing and he owes the irs 40K. he's a contractor. what is my next step? I WILL NOT file for welfare. His support payments should be enough to get me going, and being a secretary will let me raise my kids in at least an apartment in a good neighborhood. This will be an agreed divorce. He will have standard visits and pay support & alimony?
2007-01-05 07:54:30 · 9 answers · asked by 30YrOldPTAMomof3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Despretly seeking advice... Yesterday I pretended like it was not my 10 year wedding anniversary...?
He never said a word, nor did I. Not even when our 3 kids all under age 10 gave us gifts. The history: He USED to drink every day in denial of course... Cheated 5 years ago when he left me 4 the office **** & moved in w/her leaving me @ his 2 kids homeless. I went to work, begged him to come back, he did and has thrown it in my face ever since about how I should be thrilled he even came back & he threw that woman in my face. I was a sucker, gave in, took him back - he took on more bad habits, let his friends talk to me like **** - I moved out thinking he would change & was apart 9 months when he found out I met someone he asked me back, I went &I had another baby, things did not change... his family treats me like ****, mine is always wrong, we don't kiss, touch or show affection.We don't do ANYTHING, go out, nothing. He plays golf & drums. Thats it. No friends, etc unless it's his family And I'm hot! 5'7", size 3, blondish long hair, look great 4 having 3 kids and I am sexual & smart.
Additional Details
18 hours ago
On top of keeping myself fit and attractive, I am a good wife. I cook (from scratch), sew women's clothing and quilts, I write, I clean, I do yardwork, I am active in the kids school... I encourage his golf games, I am sexual, I am open minded and I am very laid back.
Why haven't I left? I guess because I felt that with the divorce rates are really high, like no one tried anymore to be married and really work through problems. I tried doing that by staying and being forgiving. But now 10 years later, I see my time has been wasted.
But his tormenting words keep me from seeing straight at times.
18 hours ago
He refuses counseling, saying it's all me.
Now I did go upon his request, only to have him acuse me of sleeping with the shrink b/c he told me I was being mentally abused.
This is is 2nd marriage and my first. I am 30, he is 33. His first marriage ended after 3 years when his wife cheated.
I am not a drinker or druggie - so that has never been an issue.
He was an alcoholic (case a beer a night) until last easter.
he blames me and his ex wife for drinking.
He is a good Dad, but he talks to me terribly and humilates me every chance he gets.
Today he came home from work early... still no anniversary greeting - I told him I would like to rent a house for me and the girls. He left to play golf w/ a buddy.
I have never been unfaithful or given him reason.
I did complain when he drank, especially if he brought trashy people around.
I did call him on his cheating...
But I have been too understanding...
Also: he will not let me finish my degree, I may meet someone.
18 hours ago - 3 days left to answer. - 9 answers - Report Abuse
2007-01-05 23:37:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I must admit this is a tough one. First I would get a lawyer once men disassociate themselves from you they are not trying to give you anything. As far as alimony and support good luck at getting both. You'll probably get child support but not alimony and don't count on anything if he quits work. I know people say they go to jail and all that but that rarely happens and if it does that still doesn't put food in you and your child's mouth. I would say be prepared to go it alone, if possible enter a new career, one that would support your family on your own. Go back to school if you have too. Plan, Plan, Plan I cant emphasize that enough which means staying in your marriage an extra yr. if that's what you need to get yourself together financially. Get a lawyer and find out actually how much money you can get and then you'll know exactly what you'll be working with.
I wouldn't rely on his money though, find a way to make more money than what a secretary makes. Establishing yourself financially is very important and you'll be amazed at how these men act once you decide you don't want them anymore. They don't care that you put aside a career to raise there children. They're glad you don't have a way to support yourself cause they can call the shots and keep you in a bad marriage.
2007-01-05 08:25:39 · answer #2 · answered by spirit2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guess what? You owe the IRS 40k too if you file your taxes jointly.
And that's really classy...this guy puts a roof over your head and now you want support payments????
Did you consider this? Maybe he gets custody of the kids and YOU have to pay support.
2007-01-05 08:01:24 · answer #3 · answered by Jeremy M 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A freedom or a right is a state granted permission to do something within a certain capacity that they later set with court cases. It is a joke. All of politics is a joke. Telling someone they are allowed to be free is not real freedom and is even worse being a total perversion of what a right or freedom really is.
2016-05-23 06:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody needs out of marriage, unless your life is in danger. Go to counseling and repair your marriage rather than breaking it apart forever.
2007-01-05 08:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get an attorney. There is NO WAY this is going to turn out good without one.
2007-01-05 07:59:46 · answer #6 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you NEED out?
2007-01-05 07:59:13 · answer #7 · answered by love_n_hate84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.findlaw.com
2007-01-05 08:00:53 · answer #8 · answered by Fishgutts 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why leave??
2007-01-05 07:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋