How do I tell someone I don't trust him?

Question

One of my friends is unreliable with keeping plans -- he just canceled a vacation that cost me $200 and this isn't the first time! If he asks me why I won't hang around with him anymore, can I say BECAUSE I DON'T TRUST YOU or is there some other way to deal with the problem?

Answer 1

say" i dont trust you"

Answer 2

I know how you feel, I have a friend & a cousin that does the same thing to me. You have the right to be upset with them & not hanging around them anymore is a GOOD IDEA. If he ask you why, simply tell him straight up that he's a FLAKER. Tell him that what he did pissed you off to the point where you can't trust him anymore & that he needs to start having common courtesy. If he wants to stay your friend, then he's going to have to build that trust back, which also will include making some changes on his part. You should still go on that trip if you still can, go by yourself or with another friend. Alot of people these days take vacations on their own, just to get away from everything & clear their minds. There is nothing wrong with that. Your friend should offer to pay back that $200 you wasted if it's too late. If he doesn't offer, that's o.k. but there's no nice way to say I DON'T TRUST YOU. The best way to do it is to be straight up & mature about it. Let him know he's inconsiderate & that if he wants to stay friends then he's going to have to change his ways & earn your trust back.

Answer 3

I'd wait until the next situation arises- where he wants to do something that involves an investment of time or money on your part, and I'd decline, saying, "I'm reluctant to do XXXX with you any more because you've burned me in the past- remember the vacation you cancelled? I don't feel I can depend on you." He may surprise you by having a good reason for some of the cancellations, or maybe he's just a flake. Listen to what he has to say and maybe you'll decide to trust him again or maybe distance yourself altogether.

Answer 4

1. Since he canceled out, ask him to pay you the $200. Tell him that if he wants you to stick around, he's going to have to pay for the consequences of his decisions.
2. This person is much more tentative than you are. He's a MAYBE person who wants to keep his options open. Even if you were financially reimbursed, it's still going to get old.
3. Where this person is concerned, you need to keep YOUR options open. If you have agreed to do something with him and a better offer comes along, don't feel obliged to honor the agreement. Just tell him you got a better offer and the agreement is OFF. He may be slow, but he'll catch on.

Answer 5

I'm not sure you should be so blunt as to say you don't trust him; but I think you have an obligation to him and yourself to explain how his unreliable nature is affecting your friendship and that you are having a hard time making plans to spend time with him because he is so unreliable. I know if i were in his shoes, I would want to know the truth.

Answer 6

You could instead say it's because he's been unreliable in the past. If he wants you to hang out he needs to follow through and do the things he arranges to. If not, find a new friend.

Answer 7

What you do is just tell him that you do trust you and if he want listen tell him live me along and bud out of it but don't say it in away him will thank you are being mean to him or not his friend.

Answer 8

say: well u kinda cost me some money come back when u have organized ur life a little more, or something like that just dont be too mean

Answer 9

Be honest with him! Tell him: We made plans here, it cost me $200, then here it cost me $???. And tell him you don't have time to waste.

Answer 10

well just tell him that he is not reliable. u can count on him, he never there for u when u need him and if he says that it is not true then u throw the vacation stuff to his face.

Answer 11

Sure why not, men seem to be real honest and real with each other, so just tell him!