why should your ex be angry if they have to pay child support?

Question

ok, people sorry for the bad grammar ok I recently have file child
support because i went through some fanacial hardship, and
had to file, now before that he took care of our child and still
do through payment now, but explain to him it, was,nt purposely
just so I can get back on my feet I got laid off my job,I now currently
attend computer class so it,s not i am sitting home doing nothing
and Have went on many job interview, we use to be so close,now
he don,t talk to me he just get his daughter and go Any advice ?

Answer 1

you did the right thing, no matter how you look at it. men are angry and its because they've lost control. he could've paid you before, but it was under his terms. what he felt. now, hes lost that. some other "man" is telling him he must pay $xxx by this time for else. and that angers men, at least most of them. a real man would understand that children and mothers need that support to keep things in line. my advice, most X's cannot be friends. they can eventially be friendly, my daughters 11 and my X and I are just now friendly. it took 11 years for him to accept paying. they will always be bitter and will someday realize that it went for a good cause. or not. but do not kiss his butt to be his friend.

Answer 2

The majority of people do not want to pay child support it affects both sexes it is actually worst with women when men have custody the child support payments from women statistically is much lower than from guys.

The reason maybe and this is a just a analogy, just imagine you bought a new car it got total, the insurance did not pay you but the bank insist that you still make payments for the duration of the loan. Now you don't even have the use of the vehicle but you still have to pay for it I think that is where the anger comes from.

Answer 3

I've talked to many men about this issue of dead beat dads and child support. What I have found is that most men have no problem sending money that is spent on their child. HOWEVER, I've heard and meet mothers who think of the child support money as their or pay back for what they have spent. A friend of my wife was so bold to even "I'm planning a trip to Vegas when the child support check comes in. My mom is going to take care of the kids that week." The other thing I've seen is that the mother spends the money on gifts for the child so if looks like the father doesn't love the child as much because he isn't giving them as many gifts even though they are bought with his money. In the end all I see is divorced people play all sorts of games and putting their children in the middle.

Have recommended this before, but here I go again. How about you open a joint account with your ex that ONLY has the child support money in it. With on line banking the father could see what the money is being spent on. Of course this would only work if you trust the father not to try and steal the money back.

Answer 4

if he was taking care of the child anyway, why file? in any case, that was your right. perhaps before he thought you had to go along with him because he was paying but now that he is legally bound to do it he has lost his edge over you. without more details its hard to answer, but a lot of times people will do things because they want to do them but when they are made to do them they get mad. just go day by day he will either come around or not, either way try to keep it civil for the kids sake.

Answer 5

Because most men suck. And I'm a guy. They hate giving their money to anyone but themselves. I've met so many women with kids who are struggling financially just because of guys like this. These type of guys will even go as far as working under the table so the income won't show.

Not all men are &hitheads and ruin for the rest of us, but many are. For the rest of you good guys that are decent and caring: Cudos' to you and never get frustrated in doing what is right for mom and child. Even if it is just for child.

Answer 6

Most men don't want to pay child support. You are cutting in to their money. What they don't realize is how much more it costs to take care of a child to have them in the home as a residential parent.

Answer 7

dont let it bother u hes just mad whatever happens to u two dont let it effect ur relationship with ur child and dont let it effect his relationship with the kid either. ur child reserves both parents no matter how much they cant stand each other.it wolnt kill him to act friendly a cpouple minutes while the kids around.let him know its only for the best for the kid.ever wonder why children grow up the way they do.take a good look its from the way their parents act.

Answer 8

An Ex shouldn't have to pay child support. They should want to.

Answer 9

WELL I DONT KNOW YOUR EX BUT FROM MY POINT OF VIEW I BECAME UPSET TWICE THRU MY ORDEAL FIRST WHEN THE ORDER WAS INTIATED CUZ I WAS TAKING CARE OF MY SON MY ONLY THING IS I ASKED FOR A EXPENSE LOG OR RECEIPTS TO PROVE SHE WAS ACTUALLY SPENDING THE MONEY ON SHE GREW UPSET AND WENT TO COURT. SO IN MY MID ONLY PEOPLE WHO PAID CHILSUPPORT WAS THE DEADBEATS AND I AM AND WAS FAR FROM A DEADBEAT AND DID I MENTION SHE WENT ABOUT THIS CUZ WE BROKE UP NOT CUZ I WASNT HELPING HER OUT. 2ND I GREW UPSET MOST RECENT CUZ AS SOON AS I GET MARRIED SHE DECIDES THE AMOUNT SHE WAS GETTING WAS NOT ENOUGH BUT WHILE I WAS SINGLE IT WAS ADEQUATE AMOUNT SO ME BEING UPSET IS NOT ABOUT PAYING ITS ABOUT HER GETTIG UPSET WHEN I AM NOT IN HER LIFE ANYMORE AND USING MY SON AGAINST ME

Answer 10

If he wants to act like that,,its his choice.As long as you get whats due to you & your child.Its his responcibility to pay for his child,,if he has a problem with that,,its his problem.You did the right thing.