As a Step mom I have set boundaries due to the sensitive nature of my teenage stepchild living with us?

Question

Our teen is truly loved and repected however we are havivg problems trying to explain why we have the boundries in place , the mom of this teen thinks that she can just come and go in my home as she pleases because she lives in another state, we try to alternate holidays and school breaks and summer vacation between the two households being equaly divided however for some reason this mom wants to be in my presence when it is not
nescessary after all this is a teen that is a honor student , has a
part time job , and will graduate in may 07 and has been excepted to the college of choice. after all this mom has decieved her teen
about provision and the love of a father . How do we teach our teen that we have her best intrest at heart, but mom most respect
all boundries that are in place.
Terra P.

Answer 1

I went through the same thing with my ex. By the time my son was 16 there was more damage done then you would expect. The rest of the story... I stuck to my guns, held my boundaries with no malice, and let the turmoil roll off my shoulders as my ex's problem and not mine. Her not wanting to respect my boundaries was not my issue. I made that clear. My son did give me problems, and it was rough. Take heart... Now he is 22 and doing well. He has even gone as far as to thank me and wife for the stable structure that we demanded around us. Yes, he thanked me for being a Dad and not being his "buddy". He's a young man to be proud of now, and I am and tell him so.

You will do fine because you already see the need for fairness and boundaries. The work now is to not to cave. It won't always be easy, but it is the right thing you do. You can explain to the teen now and they may not like it, but they hear you and will appreciate it down the road.

Answer 2

i'm a stepchild and that i call him through his first call. got here from the anger over the divorce and dropping my dad, now my stepdad is greater of a dad to me even yet it somewhat is too previous due now to initiate calling him dad. so first call in basic terms....