I've been dating a man 20 years older than me am 26years old and he says he can't live without me and can't see himself with anyone else am like "hello" why not marry me well I didn't say that to him duh. He has told me in the past that he dosen't want to marry again and that just broke my heart but you think he might change he might change his mind? We both feel that we connect strongly. He lives in UAE and I live in the US but I go there very often and he comes here very often we don't see each other about 4months out of the year added up thats not bad he makes alot of effort to be with me which makes me wonder if maybe I should hold on to the hope I have on him changing his mind on getting married.
2007-01-05 06:07:37 · 10 answers · asked by chicka 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to ask him. You HAVE TO.
You are operating on an expectation. You have an expectation that at some point this man is going to do something he's already told you he doesn't want to do. You are setting yourself up for a tremendous disappointment.
So why don't you just tell him how you feel. Tell him that you DO want to marry him and what does he think of that? At least you got it out. How long are you going to sit on this expectation? At what point are you going to be disappointed? When you get disappointed will you get angry?
Give this some thought. You're talking about your future here.
FP
2007-01-05 06:12:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is living together, being together, forming a bond together, sharing together. Marriage is not a long distance relationship. Unless he comes to live and be with you or you choose to go and be with him, you really can't have a marriage as things are now. If marriage is important to you, having a bond, having a family, having a social life, and spending your time with those family and friends, and falling asleep in the arms of the man you love, not only will he never marry you, you will never have a life companion. In your place, if I wished marriage, I'd break it off, and find someone who is both physically and emotionally available.... this guy is neither, and has told you so, not only by his words, but by his actions as well of not being here nor asking you to come there. It's a dead end street, hon.... you'll never be married to this guy. It the situation is satisfactory as it stands, then stay. If you want something else, he isn't it. Will he change his mind????? absolutely and positively no.
2007-01-05 07:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been dating this man?Whatever the answer is, I guess that's not the point. He told you he don't want to get married again. He only 46. That's not old.I was 26 and dating men in there late 40'too. He not ready to be marry. Lets say he does marry because he don't want to lose you, don't you think after a few yrs. He going to cheat or leave. And guess what your going to be hurt and upset. I tell you this you would have no right to. This man has told you he don't what to be marry.Am sure it's not because your worthy of him, he just don't what to go though the hole thing again. I know how he feels. I love my boyfriend too, but right now I can't see myself going though a marriage again. My boyfriend wants to marry me today if he can. But right now I can't. And I would hate to lose him, I love him very much. He is a wonderful man. My husband was a very bad man. I couldn't take it if I lost my boyfriend, because I don't want to get married right now. For me I just need space from being "married". But at the same time, I need and want my boyfriend.And maybe your man needs space from being "married" too. I only been a yr. for me. Some people need more time.I think I need 5 to 6 yrs or longer before I marry again.Don't rush him.You will lose him. If my boyfriend told me to marry him or else he walking. I will miss him.
2007-01-05 06:23:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think he will change his mind. This is working out very well for him. I think if you wanted to marry him, the fun would be over and he'd freak. If you are close, then ask him where this relationship is goin. I don't know how long you've been seeing him, but after 18 months or so, most people know if they're building a life together or not. Best of luck. Don't sell yourself short.
2007-01-05 06:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see all kinds of red flag here, since he is Arab and quite affluent because of all the traveling you don't even know that he might already have several wives.
I think a 46 and a 26 year old is ridiculous, eliminate the sex and what the hell have you got in common, you are from 2 different generations not to mention culture, I see all kind of warning signs in this relationship I think I should stop here.
2007-01-05 07:01:15 · answer #5 · answered by Ynot! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's Arab, he's probably wealthy and buys you nice things.
Don't confuse this with love.
Imagine yourself getting it on with a 14 year old boy. Now that is only 12 years of differece. Double that.
You are only young once. Now is the only chance you will get to have a romance with a young, hot guy who isn't jaded by previous marriages and children. You will have plenty of time when you are in your 40's to be with a 40 year old man. Don't waste yourself now.
Also, don't you want to get married to a man who is so head over heels in love with you that he CHOOSES to marry you? Not some old man who you have to convince?
Be careful. Lots of rich men use lots of cute 20-somethings and then dump them for a younger version once they hit 30.
2007-01-05 06:25:49 · answer #6 · answered by loves2fly84095 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to get married again, he's not going to change his mind esp. since your relationship is perfect for him just the way it is. You have 2 choices, either be happy with the way things are now and accept the fact that you're never going to marry this guy or move on with your life and find someone who is ready willing and able to settle down with you.
2007-01-05 07:09:17 · answer #7 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be 26 but you talk like my 15 year old daughter.
He is 46 and likes having a 26 year old sex toy. So would any guy. He will remarry when he finds someone he respects. It's not you.
2007-01-05 06:10:32 · answer #8 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Fucose was harsh, but absolutely correct.
Find someone local to have a relationship with, and keep UAE dude "on the side." That is what he's doing with you.
2007-01-05 06:13:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like he will change his mind to me!
2007-01-05 06:11:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋