She says she going by her girlfriends house to just talk and chill. I want her to go out and have fun because she is still young and not married yet but we will be in 3 months. When is it to late to leave to go by friends and when is it to late to return when you are in a commited relationship?
2007-01-05 05:28:29 · 25 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are totally right to be concerned. Is she ready to be married or not? Do you two agree on what's okay when you're married and what's not? I would consider pre-marriage counseling to sort out a lot of issues that will kill you later. I would delay the wedding for sure. I don't think it is an issue of too late or too early. I think it is an issue of having to go over there and hang out for hours in the first place. I would check up on her. Bring her cookies or beer or some other excuse to stop by. It sounds odd.
2007-01-05 05:37:46 · answer #1 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well this is going to sound horrible but I think she's cheating on you! I can see a once and a while going over to a friend house leaving at 8 coming home at 1 would be normal but if this is going on all the time somethings not right. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years and we are thinking about marriage alot lately and even through the years I do not see him allowing that to go on more then once in a while. usually we all get together and us girls drink our wine int he kitchen or sitting room and the guys watch the game in the living room. But you knwo us girls do have set girls night that start right when we get outta work we start off the night with dinner at our fav resturant then we go home get ready and hit the clubs (yes we are still young as well) but all of out men have set times for us to come home and thats usually 1-145 the latest! but us girls also allow a boys night with the same time frame! so i think you need to talk to ur girl and figure out whats going on let he rknow its bothering you and try to do what we do! good luck!
2007-01-05 13:53:10 · answer #2 · answered by tluckie313 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no definitive time that is "too late" to go out. If you don't like her doing this, then just be honest with her. Tell her that you want to spend that time with her. This discussion should NOT wait until you are married. These are the little things that couples ignore until they get married, and then all hell breaks loose. But I hope you realize that people don't magically change after marriage. If anything, they just get worse because there is a comfort zone.
2007-01-05 13:38:41 · answer #3 · answered by danika1066 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all she does not love or respect you it is a matter of respect not to want to purposely hurt the one you love. As for the going out and following her a waste of time because that would state you don't trust her, so why marry her?
Marriage has a way of amplifying bad behavior just picture her gone for the entire weekend after you are married
2007-01-05 13:57:15 · answer #4 · answered by Ynot! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something AIN"T right in your relationship, if getting married in 3 months, it seems she would be so in love with you that she'd want to spend time with you instead of friends. Talk to her and ask why she's doing these little nighty nites with her friends, I would check it out.
If you wait till your married, do you really think she will change, not a chance or you sure GF or just friend she spends her evenings with. HHMMNN
2007-01-05 13:44:53 · answer #5 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to be the consensus to follow her. I would suggest follow her in another car she wouldn't recognize. Follow at least 3 cars behind and never pull into the same parking lot as she does. You can also put GPS on her car or track the mileage. Do a back ground check on her.
Definately, confront her after you have the info. (I'm an inspiring PI)
2007-01-05 13:33:49 · answer #6 · answered by spanky1492 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if she plans to continue this behavior after you marry. If she says yes, and it obviously bothers you, don't get married. Also, tell her what she's doing makes you worry and makes you feel like she's neglecting you. Say it matter-of-factly, but with sadness in your voice. If she blows you off or doesn't change, it means she does not care about your feelings. Again, if she responds that way, don't get married to her. Her degree of consideration for your feelings will not change after marriage, so be sure not to marry someone expecting her to suddenly do things your way after the wedding ceremony.
2007-01-05 13:37:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I might suggest you (without telling her) check in and see if that's where she went. Maybe see if anyone else is there too?
If she really is just hanging out there, it's not a big deal when it's once in a while, but several times a week? That isn't a marriage.
Ask her to invite her friend over to your place.
2007-01-05 13:35:43 · answer #8 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she really isn't ready to commit to marriage. The best you can do is talk with her about it and let her know you are concerned. If she insists on continuing to go out, maybe you shouldn't marry her!
2007-01-05 13:43:28 · answer #9 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF I WAS U I WOULD FOLLOW HER AND SEE EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS DOING WITHOUT HER KNOWING THAT U R FOLLOWING HER. HEY IF SHE IS GOING 2 B UR WIFE U NEED 2 KNOW WHAT SHE DOES AND WHO SHE DOES IT WITH. LISTEN I DON'T KNOW Y SHE HAS 2 GO 2 HER FRIENDS HOUSE EVERYDAY 2 OR 3 TIMES OUT THE WEEK MAYBE AND NOT AT THAT TIME MAYBE A LITTLE EARLIER. GOOD LUCK
2007-01-05 13:33:15 · answer #10 · answered by Baby Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋